Sorry I've not been around

kellerman

As you all know things haven't been great for quite a few weeks now and they are slowly getting worse if thats possible.
The pains I am having....back/hips/knees and other bits were diagnosed as AS but now I am apparently in need of my hip replacing. I was told many moons ago I would need this but as I was still working and not in any pain laughed it off.Anyway I was told I was too young then so like I say many moons ago.
Trouble is I can't have it done now unless I put John into temporary care.
He had his eyes tested on Saturday and they will not get any better and more likely to get worse.My eyes on the other hand have to be in the back of my head.He went walkabout on Sunday while I was in the shower.
I'm glad we live in a village where we are known because goodness knows where he would have ended up if he hadn't been brought home by believe it or not a lovely old man on a mobility scooter.!!!! He walks like someone drunk as he is falling to the right due of course to the stroke. I'm going to look at a few of your posts now.....take care....will be back later May xx

DebbieT

How wonderful to hear from you!! (((( ))))

U are going thru such an awful time, I honestly don't know how you cope!!

My hubby & I have had to discuss these sort of scenarios, in our early 30's at the time, as he became so ill a decade ago we literally didn't know wot was going to happen. We've both said we don't want one another to be left as a sole care giver. We both would choose to go into care!! We love each other dearly, we've been married 26yrs this month & are 43 & 45 years old so have been each others lives really along with our children & grandson (grandaughter is due in a month )

I've told you all of that in the hope it would help you realise that John would, I'm sure, understand why you'd need to place him into care whilst you had your much needed operation & were recouping!!

I understand his stroke will likely cause him fear & confusion but if you don't
get this seen to asap you won't be able to look after him at all. I have no doubt this decision is upsetting you greatly .... Have you been able to talk it thru with his stroke team & your family? (((( ))))

I'm so sorry to hear his eye sight is going to get worse The stress you are under must be immense especially with him wandering!!

May, you must try & take any respite care they can offer so you get the odd opportunity to recharge ure batteries.

Stay strong & please remember to take care of ureself.

xxx

hileena111

Hi May
I answered your post to my topic before seeing this.
I'm sorry John's eyes are getting worse.
You need to be as well as possible to be able to cope with him so you need that THR for both your benefits.
He'll be fine in care for {usually} 3 days in hospital and then 6 weeks where you need someone to look after you and help. Then you'll be a new person.
You are one of the strongest people I know so stay strong and get that THR done....the longer you leave it the worse it will get

Love
Hileena

dreamdaisy

You have absolutely no need to apologise, May, you have so much going on it's a wonder that you have found the time to come on to say you're sorry for not being around - but that is typical of you, there's not a trace of self-pity just plain, simple courage.

We're here whenever you need us, simples. I don't know how much we can help but the support will be there. I wish you both well. DD

frogmorton

May!!!!!!!!!

How lovely to see you posting

Mmmm... not so good about your health in particular that hip

I can see the problem about your husband while you can't care for him. Have you had a chat to 'anyone' about it? Such as Social Services or your GP??? It might be an idea to find out what is available in your area sooner rather than later.

Love and ((()))

Toni xxx

stickywicket

You are quite right, May. Life gets tougher by the week for you and, I guess, for John too. I know you felt he'd be very upset as and when this eye test showed that his sight wouldn't improve. What a horribly steep learning curve for you both.

I can offer no advice. You know your situation better than us and from all aspects. All I can say is here if needed. ((((())))) You have my utmost respect.

kentishlady

Hello May. It was lovely to see your posting, but I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time and that your report on John's eyes is not good. I think, like some of the others have said that if your op is necessary you do need to get it done asap. I can understand your reluctance to put John into care, but it is only temporary and I am sure he will be looked after.

I do hope you can get everything sorted out. Take care of yourself and remember we are all here whenever you need us.

Thinking of you and sending a few (((())))

Beryl.

kellerman

Many many thanks to all you lovely people for replying.
I have a meeting at the hospital tomorrow with all concerned including the stroke team and also my new better onco...a woman. I really don't know what will happen but something has got to be arranged and soon.
I know I have a good helpful family but I really can't expect them to take time off work even if they could. The youngest daughter who had the baby the day John had his stroke is going back to work at the end of November...shes a teacher and her wages are needed to pay the morgage.
What a pair we are. I can see but hobble along....John can't see and walks into things as he leans to the right. We must look an odd couple.
It even sounds funny doesn't it? Believe me it is in some ways but who cares if we do look odd.I'll try and let you know as soon as I can about the meeting but at this moment I hardly dare take my eyes off him so have to wait until he nods off.
Please please take care of yourselves and stay warm as the weather is getting colder....well it is here on the north east coast. Love May xx

phoenixoxo

Hi May,

I'm sorry you're in pain and that John's eyesight isn't too good these days. I hope tomorrow's meeting goes well for you and I'm happy to perform pocket duties if required. And stay snug! (It's just turned cold here too.)

Best wishes,
Phee

bubbadog

Hey May, Good luck with the meeting today, hope you can all come to some sort of agreement that will help you as well as your OH. Stay warm, the weather has turned colder here this morning!

villier

No need for apologies May you have more than enough to contend with, hope the appointment goes well today for you, some ((((()))) to keep you going, take care...................Marie xx

dibdab

Hope the meeting goes well May and you both get the help you need and so obviously deserve.

Deb x

Toots

I hope your meeting went well May, and that there may be some ideas to help you both out. Huge hugs x

hileena111

Hi May
I hope your meeting went well today.

((((())))) for you both

Love
Hileena

stickywicket

I hope the meeting was a good one, May, and some measures have been taken to make life a bit easier. I am thinking of you. ((()))

maria09

Hi May
Its good to see you back posting
It is such a difficult time for you
I hope all goes in your favour with the stroke team
Maria