Such a sad year for us - 2013

GraceB

Some of you may remember my saying my Dad was poorly and in respite?

Unfortunately he took a turn for the worse earlier this week and sadly this morning we lost him. He was 88. He'd had so many types of anti biotics that when he got his last chest infection he was resistant to them all and it had ended this way. He was susceptible to chest infections due to lung tumours. We were with him at the end and it was peaceful.

After losing my sister Sue in February this year to cancer, this affected Dad so very badly. He'd lost my Mum to cancer when I was 5; in 2006 we lost my neice Kirsty (my late sister's daughter) to cancer and she was only 20. He'd had so many knocks bless him and each time he bounced back - this time he didn't do so well.

The local hospital/respite/rehab place where he was were brilliant. We couldn't have asked for better. He wanted to die at home (hes house number is 36), the room he had in the hospital was 36. He got his wish - nearly.

GraceB

dreamdaisy

Oh Grace, I am so sorry. I send my condolences, earlier this year I lost my mum and it is a very tough time. He had the best death you could arrange and I hope that is a small crumb of comfort. I am thinking of you. DD

stickywicket

I'm sorry, Grace. It has, indeed, been a tough year for you. It's good that your Dad had something of what he wanted at the end. I hope things will calm down now for you all.

elainebadknee

Grace

Sorry to hear about your dad but it sounds like he played a small hand in his way out having the room number 36...He sounded like a very brave man to fight this awful disease.
Im sorry for your loss...

Elainexx

barbara12

Oh Grace I am so very sorry , you have gone through so much ...its very sad to lose someone when they are old, but losing your mum and sister so young...please look after yourself...you need some time to grieve and maybe it will all come out now...(((()))xx

kentishlady

Hello Grace. Am so very sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself. Beryl. ((((()))))

Numptydumpty

A sad year indeed. ((((()))))
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you,
Numpty

villier

So sorry Grace, you certainly have had a very tough year, thinking of you (((())))....................Marie xx

DebbieT

You have my deepest sympathy & empathy Grace.

Giving him as much as you were able, of his final wishes, will bring you comfort in the days to come!!

Don't be surprised if you aren't able to show or feel the loss fully for a while, you'll have things & people to take care of & it tends to push your feelings & needs to some hard to access place.

Stay on top of ure meds, make sure you eat & drink and finally, if you can, remember to laugh. His life had lots of sadness in it but also great happiness & laughter, honour all of it.

(((((take care)))))
xxx

barbara12

More hugs for you Grace..don't forget we are all ways here.(((()))xx

dibdab

So sorry to hear of all your sadness Grace. Your dad must have been a really special man to face so much heartache with courage and dignity. No doubt much of that courage and dignity will live on in you, ,y thoughts and prayers are with you.

Every blessing

Deb x

petals

Very sorry Grace, condolences to you and your family.
Take care

Petals x

dachshund

Hello Grace
your dad was a very brave man. you are a strong brave lady we are always here if you wont to talk.
take care
joan xx

maria09

Oh Grace
I'm so,so,sorry about your father
My condolences to you and your family
Such a sad time for you all
(((( ))))
Maria

dreamdaisy

You have been in my thoughts. DD

mike26

sorry to hear your loss grace, and you was with him at the end
and it was peacefull . god bless.RIP. mike26..

DebbieT

Thinking of you Grace (((( ))))

Xxx xxX

bubbadog

I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your Dad, my thoughts are with you at this very sad time.

Toots

So sorry to hear this Grace Thinking of you x

GraceB

Thanks for all your kind messages and thoughts. They mean such a lot.

His death has been put down to his lung cancer as that was why Dad kept getting chest infections. Due to his repeated infections, he became resistant to antibiotics and therefore his last infection wasn't treatable.

My brother and sister have both gone home now but will be back for the funeral which is 1st November. I've been on compassionate leave for this week and return to work on Monday. I'm now at the point where I need to keep busy.

At least with my only being able to work part time this will give me enough time to fulfill all my executor duties for Dad. Luckily my cousin (who is the other executor) was a solicitor so I'll be able to use his knowledge and expertise. Never having been an executor before I'm a little in the dark with this but we were given a 'do it once' option from the Registrar here in Kent where you make one phone call, and they notify DWP, Inland Revenue, electoral roll, etc., etc., so that helps.

Thanks again - I really appreciate your support.

Take care,
GraceB

dreamdaisy

That strikes me as an almost unseemly length of time between his death and the final rites of passage, especially as his cause of death has been established. I am pleased that you have been given compassionate leave and yes, I did the one option thing when my Ma died last April - it makes things a deal easier. I am the sole executor of Ma's estate but I am being guided through matters by my solicitor, I think you will find your cousin's knowledge very useful (especially if this was one of his areas).

I wish you well over the next three weeks, I will keep popping in to see how you are doing, OK? I know from experience that this is a difficult time. DD

DebbieT

We used the Tell Us Once thing too for government stuff, it helps!!

This Sunday it's 4 weeks since we lost Dad so it's still very raw. Keeping busy will help but please allow ureself the time you need to cry, I didn't, I held it together to support everyone else & I still haven't been able to let it out properly so I feel like a pressure cooker, I'd hate for you to do the same!!

The best of luck with ure Executor duties.

Remember to look after ureself.

((((( )))))

Xxx xxX

stickywicket

It's a tough time, Grace. I am thinking of you.

GraceB

Thanks everyone! Your support is very much appreciated.

My partner and I managed to get out this morning and had a few pleasant hours staggering about Maidstone - which is the county town in Kent. It was good to get out and about. Lovely bacon roll and latte deal in a restaurant. We also managed to get a huge slab of bread pudding for my other half and a massive eccles cake for me - it's so large it completely fills a tea-plate! Neither of which are 'good' for you mind you, but they're medicinal at the moment.

This afternoon I've made a few phone calls and spoken to my cousin about our duties. I can only seem to manage a couple of calls at a time before it all gets too much, but I'll get there - it's early days yet. The gap between death and funeral is down to the family's availability I'm afraid. Also, down in this part of Kent it's usual for at least a 2 wk gap in these circumstances and it's usually due to crematorium availability as our local crem covers a huge area.

Take care everyone,
GraceB

barbara12

Grace I will be thinking of you on the 1st of November..its such along time to have to wait..you take care (((()))xx