Story Corner

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stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,731
edited 18. Oct 2013, 15:58 in Community Chit-chat archive
Right. For those who use distraction as a means of pain control how many of the meds used to treat arthritis can you find in this story. Some are straightforward, others mis-spelt and you have to go by sound as well as sense.

Once upon a time...
....there were two arthritic siblings, Coco D. Amol and her soldier brother Para C. T. Amol. CT was home on leave and went out with his mate Abe Atacept. They were hoping to meet up with their friends Hugh Meara and Dick Le Fenac but then they bumped into Gabby Pentin and Penny Cillamine so they decided to go to the pub where they found another friend, Droxy Chloroquine.

“Hi Droxy!" CT smiled. “Come on over to our table. "

“Sim's 'ere too” replied Droxy “and Sulky Sal.”

“Sal Azine?” snorted Abe, “Not that weird friend of Amy's?”

“'Oo's Amy?” asked Penny. Her speech was slow and hesitant but she made up for that in volume.

“Triptylene“, Abe explained.

“Oh 'er. Well, Cy's 'er cousin.”

“Cy who?”

“Closporin. 'E 'as a thigh op on Wednesday.”

“A thigh op?” Nobody has a thigh op.“

She was adamant. “''E 'as a thigh op. Er...in Enbrel on Wednesday.”

The others decided to ignore her but her shrill tones penetrated every eardrum. “Our Cock's ear's sore” she complained to anyone who might be interested.

“Do cock's have ears?” inquired the Irishman O'Trexate.

“Of course they do, Meth” laughed CT. “They have one ear 'ere and another ear there.”

“Get away with you” laughed Abe's mother Ada, behind the bar, as she pulled another pint for old Lef Lunomide.

Just then Mel Oxicam and her Hungarian boyfriend Art Hrotec rushed into the snug. “It's raining stair rods out there” complained Art. “A couple of pints of your best, please Mrs Limumab.

“Golly, Mum”, Abe cried. “Is that the time? I need to catch the tram. A Dolce and Gabbana shop's just opened in Nap Roxen and I said I'd meet Cody in there at 6pm. "'Bye everyone.”


Your score. There are 25 in all. If you got:

0-5 – You're just an arthritic beginner. Take your meds and resume hiking, kneeling and ice-skating

6-15 – You're learning that docs don't have all the answers and that 'painkillers' is a misnomer if not an outright lie. Stick around on Chit Chat and have a bit of fun along the arthritic way.

16-20 – You are a serious arthritic. You've been there, done the meds, got the T's (HRs and KRs, not shirts) and contemplate operations with hope rather than dread.

21-25 – You are a forum junkie. Take a couple of dullers and take yourself and your crutches/rollator/scooter to the shops, do your quads or use all your kitchen adaptions to prepare a healthy meal. And don't forget to pop a bottle in the fridge for later. You know there's more to life than arthritis and its meds.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

Comments

  • purpleowl
    purpleowl Member Posts: 231
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Stickywicket,

    absolutely brilliant!!! I am obviously a beginner but am learning from the forum every day. :roll:

    Trish xx
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol: My-oh-my! Despite the fact that I'm an outlander and the med names are not the same, I may proudly classify myself as a "serious". Though I'm not yet a junky!
    If I'm not mistaken we have a future Nobel-Prize on this forum
  • marrianne
    marrianne Member Posts: 1,161
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Brilliant Sticky :lol::lol::lol: ..............oh 16/20.Marrianne :)
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The genius of stickywicket strikes again :lol:
    I fall (literally) into the "serious arthritic" camp :roll: Will have to read it again to upgrade to "junkie" I already have a bottle (or two) in the fridge :wink:
    Numpty
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I wish I fell into the first category but alas, no. :oops: I got the lot. 8) You are a clever girl, SW, I envy you your talent but I think you missed one: where was their Jewish friend Sol Padeine? :wink: Plus that flamboyant Flamenco dancer Ann U Sol? (OK, not arthritic but worth a punt) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    And the noble Aspirinius Oméprazolius, of course!
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Very clever SW...oh I am serious..and got the T shirt....didn't realize I knew so many meds....its good training having Arthritis.... :o
    Love
    Barbara
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,731
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    DD and caliban - I love your additions.

    Everyone else - if you're not junkies yet, just give it time :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Very very clever SW, I did get quite a lot only by reading peoples posts x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Fine effort SW. I love it and you have a brilliant knack for mental gymnastics. Inspired.

    I've fallen in the serious category, I think.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,655
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    How embarrassing I am indeed a junkie and obviously related to

    Art Hrotec (being 2nd generation Hungarian)

    Thank you very much for a really good snigger

    Love

    Toni xxx