Just feel so fed up :=(

Kittkat

:? I just feel so fed upo and at the end of my tether at the moment. I am in constant awful pain and everything in my life just seems C***. I am 23 and I genuinely feel like I have nothing to live for. My'friends' are very very selfish and really they don't care about me at all. I go out my way to please them I pay for things I go to them even though they live far away.
I am single have been for 3 years and I don't see that changing I've tried so hard to meet someone but it just isn't happening. I can't work at all and have no money. I am so jealous of the' friends' that can work.I can't seem to make any new friendships/a new relationship or anything due to the restricictions of arthritis.
I look at myself in the mirror and I am discusted. I am sick of where I live sick of my room sick of everything. My mum understand but my dad blames me for being ill so does my brother He says stuff like maybe you should just go in a care home to me.
Oh i wish I was like everyone else so much it isn't just the arthritis but it just blocks everything i need to do to make any progress in my life. I'm just treading water and I just can't stand it much longer. . Sorry to rant on i try and be strong but sometimes it gets too much :?

barbara12

Hello KittKat
Don't apologize for moaning, you have every right to..you are only young and need to get on with your life,have you seen you rheumy or GP recently has to getting some help with the pain..you could get referred to a a pain clinic, but I also think you need help with depression..it can creep up on you without you knowing..they can put you on ADs short time..they were a life saver for me many years ago.
I am glad you have your mum that you can talk to, just try and ignore the others..not easy I know...
The one thing that helped ,me was getting out to evening classes and meeting new people..maybe that is an option and you could meet someone there..or any other group come to that, but you need to get on top of the depression and pain first then you will be up for anything.
We are always here to talk to and it will do you good to get things out..((()))xx

[Deleted User]

Hello Kittkat!
I don't think this will help much, but I'll write it anyway. I can absolutely relate to what you say. Right now I don't think it would be possible for you, but as soon as this dark cloud gets a bit lighter, you should try and move things, if possible. I don't know about your exact situation, but don't you think you could do some volunteering? You may help others within your means and will be rewarded by social contacts. It could be a begin to more...satisfaction? I hope I don't sound too silly with this. Anyway- it is good that you are on this site, don't you think?
Sorry if I can't do more. Courage!

mike26

hi kittkat
sorry to hear your feeling bit down at the moment but things will improve
im sure ,some great advice from barbara12 evening classes sound great.
also what caliban said about volunteering another good idea.
and remember kittkat, as one door shuts another one opens.
chin up mike26...

hileena111

Hi Kittkat
I'm so sorry you are so low
I think you should check out the depression bit of it.
Also I do agree......when you feel up to it volunteering {within your means} will be a big help...I know it helps me...I'm an arthritis care information volunteer for our local branch and it really does help
Also like Barbara said.....a group or night class where you could meet other people
I think the first stop is your GP.....he might give you a short course of AD or he might refer you to a psychologist....that's what happened to me and it did work {no meds} just appointments with her and it made a difference

Love
Hileena

trepolpen

hi Kittkat ,

dont blame you for moaning , just think what I was doing at 23 & would hate to be in the place I am in now , think the advice from the others is good , try to get out & moan like hell until they give you drug that work

dreamdaisy

It is tough, it is hard and it is totally unreasonable. The healthy have no conception of what we are dealing with on a daily basis - I have a spare arthritis wand, would you like it so you can wave it over them to give them a taster?

We all have our low times but things can (and do) improve. We talk on here about the arthritis rollercoaster and you, for sure, are on the plunge. It won't last, the slow crawl up towards the heights will happen and we will do our best to help you get there. DD

villier

Sorry you are in a bit of a dark place at the moment Kittkat, you have had some very good advice from the others I can only reiterate that you need to address your depression first, I think a lot of us have been down that road, a short time on AD's can do you a world of good. I also think that volunteering is a good idea and of course we are all here to listen anytime, please seek some help and look after yourself...........tc............Marie xx (((())))

DebbieT

((((Kittkat))))

I really feel for you going thru all this at such a young age!!

You mustn't give up tho huni, there are improvements you can make in ure life but you may be too low to believe it at the moment.

Please talk to ure GP, thats ure 1st step.

Don't be so hard on ureself!!

Xxx xxX

Kittkat

Thank you all so much for your kind messages! Means a lot as you all understand. I do feel a bit better now it is good to let off some steam and the advice has been great volunteering is definitely on my list to do when I feel a bit better Xx

stickywicket

Hello Kittkat. I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now and sorry also that I didn't get on here and see your thread yesterday.

The others have given you some good advice. You do sound depressed and, indeed, you have much to be depressed about. Unrelenting pain colours our moods as well as our lives in general.

You write you 'wish I was like everyone else so much'. I guess we all feel like that from time to time but the truth is that you are not anyone else. You are you with your bad bits and your good bits. You have arthritis and there's no getting away from that. But life can still be good. I am reminded of the old 'Cherokee Wisdom' quote. One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Try to keep feeding your 'good wolf'. You have kindness and empathy as you've already demonstrated on these forums. Keep using them. Try some volunteering. I did when I was about your age and several years into my RA. It brought me into contact with some fascinating people I'd never, otherwise have met and with some of the best friends of my life.

P.S. You just sneaked in before me I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope it lasts.

DebbieT

SW that wisdom quote is brilliant, the truth it contains eh!!

It's great to know talking has helped a bit Kittkat. Remember we're always here but also make sure you still talk about this with ure Dr!!

((((( )))))

Xx xX

maria09

Hi Kitkat
Just popped in and had to reply to your post
This is a great place to have a moan a rant and a rave without feeling any one will judge you
I do understand how your feeling I have a daughter who is 19 and at uni none of her friends understand her condition or even know about it fully all they know is she's poorly she has ulcerative colitis yet another type of inflammatory disease she often gets told have a drink you will feel better! Well no she won't! they moan when they have headaches after a hangover she gas then all the time plus all her bowel problems and joint pain that she suffers every single day of her life.
It has ruined her life she is now on antidepressants to help her through these tough years
I could go on for hours!
I'm not telling you all this to make you feel sorry for her but to let you know I know how you feel and want to offer my support
Life is not easy these days especially for you youngsters ( I'm not that old I'm 50) As a parent it is difficult to watch your child suffer no matter how old they are. I'm glad your Mum understands and supports maybe your dad does too but finds it difficult to accept your condition
If you feel the need to PM me you are most welcome
I'm glad you are feeling a little better
Take care
Maria

Toots

I have nothing useful Kittkat, but I do like to hug when I can. Hugs! Please talk to your doctor and let him/her guide you a little x

dreamdaisy

Hello again, I hope that you are continuing the upward crawl towards the better times - we're behind you, OK? DD

thistlegirl

hi kittkat, hope you are feeling better. I agree with all the other posts, I hope you go to the gp and have a good talk with them about how you are feeling.

our disease can be so variable and so hidden at times that it is hard for people to see the effect it has on us unless we spell it out to them but then we would be moaning. The amount of times I wished that I would have a broken leg instead of Arthur- people fall over themselves to help you if you are in plaster for a few weeks but arthur ia subtle and we also get very good at coping and hiding how it is effecting us.

friends are a tough one at your age. I am 35 and have had arthur all my life and I will tell you that the friends you do have or will have will be great when you meet them, most of my friends are a bit older than me as I skipped the party/club scene and went straight to the pub instead. I agree to getting out there, I found things like pub quiz nights and organising cinema outings with 1 or 2 friends much easier to deal with than big nights out?

family is tough, my sister was my enemy growing up but now she is one of my main backup systems. it took a bad flare of arthur and crutches for her to see what I was really dealing with but now I can rely on her for anything. Is your brother older or younger than you? I hope he will grow to help you and your dad... mine liked to push me too, thinking school, work, keeping busy would help but parents don't know everything!

I hope you go and talk to your gp as you have talked here, if you don't tell them how you feel they can't help you!

thistle