Weddings, Huh!!!

purpleowl Member Posts: 231
edited 24. Oct 2013, 16:32 in Community Chit-chat archive
Good morning guys,

hope you are all having a reasonably good day.

I have problems with my son and his wedding which isn't until April 2014. His future wife comes from a Sikh family, they wanted her to marry another Sikh so are vehemently refusing to accept my son. They won't even agree to meet him, there have been all sorts of really nasty going on. To cut it short her family won't come to the civil wedding although her mum may relent.

They have decided on having Indian food, there will only be two Asian girls coming! Consequently most of my family won't be coming as they already have to drive for four hours to attend the wedding and then to find no food to their liking. Two of my family have chronic IBS(including my daughter). Even my sister-in-law who is providing the cake, is saying she will have to bring sandwiches(it's so embarrassing and so wrong). :oops:

I have tried and tried to tell him he needs to offer two menus, to the point where he is getting very angry.

The first refusal, from my dear best friend, came yesterday and I am just devastated. There is nothing to do but accept their decision as it's their wedding but it's so hard.

Just need to rant to someone!! :roll:

Trish xx


  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh dear! Weddings can be very fraught affairs. The pictures painted are always happy and rosy but there are usually glitches, small or large. Mr SW and I always refer to my mother and his mother's wedding as they just took over. We weren't interested in the wedding, just in being married, so we let them do their thing but, when it came to our sons' weddings, we insisted they did it their way.

    There are usually some problems with mixed marriages and the happy couple will have to sort them out for themselves. At least there is plenty of sorting time. It sounds as if she will have to negotiate with her own parents but they may well relent once they realise they can't talk her out of it.

    As for food – Indian food is very popular now and there is usually something to suit all tastes. I don't think all Indian food is a problem for IBS sufferers any more than all western food is. Compromises can be good.

    No-one can force anyone to attend a wedding but, if the two young people feel the families are both against them, they will only be thrown closer together. The meal isn't everything. The wedding itself is the main event. I hope things get easier for all concerned.
  • purpleowl
    purpleowl Member Posts: 231
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Many thanks sticky for your wise words. I will say no more to them on the subject, I wouldn't want to fall out with them, she is a lovely girl and I am lucky to have her join the family. It is what it is!

    Sometimes it's just good to have a moan though. :D

    Trish xx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00

    Gosh that sounds stressful but what im thinking is they must be very deeply in love to overcome all the adversity thrown their way so far...The menu does need to be more varied but sounds like you need a lot of help too from the picky ones?
    Weddings always seem to follow a pattern that certain members run themselves ragged whilst others simply sit back and are oblivious (purposely)...My nephew's wedding everyone was making pizza's decoratoing the room, tables, and the bride's family did naff all...My dad calls a certain white wine "wedding wine" as he got sent out for more supplies with promise that payment was fortchomeing, strangely it never has come yet! It cost dad over £80??

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree with Sticky, cross-cultural marriages can throw up difficulties and usually with the families on either side, not the couple themselves; in my view this is their day, they must do it how they wish because this is about their future lives together, no-one elses. At least they are considering holding a service to involve their nearest and dearest - by the sounds of things they might be better off with eloping and I don't think any of the rellies would want that, would they? You are right, a moan can help us feel better. DD
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,279
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Trish I dont have any wise words....apart from Indian food is very popular even with my hubby who is really picky.. how sad that his family are behaving like this..wish I could help more...I do hope it all resolves itself x
  • purpleowl
    purpleowl Member Posts: 231
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Barbara,
    I have good news that my sister and her family are coming, I was pleasantly surprised that they are willing to give the food a go. :D

    It's my son's fiancée's family that are being so unkind. :roll:

    Thank you for your thoughts.

    Trish xx