Family Christmas

elainebadknee
elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
edited 2. Nov 2013, 09:21 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi

I have decided that as my income has dropped a fair bit and my main priorities are trying to pay my father little by little for my car which he helped me purchase this year, that would be my main focus, that and giving mum board. Now on £71.00 a week and with 7 neices and nephews who in turn have kids of their own, totalling well over 12, I cannot do christmas for everyone. I sent a message on fb to my immediate nieces and nephews that I cannot manage this year, that I was sorry and that if was up there would have had them round for nibbles and drinks instead. Well they have all read the message and none replied, not a peep. Now last year 2 nieces decided they weren;t doing christmas and it was accepted so why do I feel so terrible for being honest and being ignored?
Really hacked off...

Elainexx

Comments

  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Elaine, I know exactly what you mean about buying presents for everyone. I'll be cutting back this year too. I wonder if your nephews and nieces are going to reply later, although if it was me, I'd reply straight away saying that was ok, I understood. Xmas shouldn't be about buying presents for everyone. It should be about family spending time together if they are able to. If they don't reply then they don't deserve a present anyway. Please don't upset yourself, it's their problem, not yours.
    Christine
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If I remember the story properly christmas is celebrated as J.Christ 's birthday. Something enjoyable for you christians. If I remember well, Jesus seemed to have been a rather relaxed anti-capitalistic pacifist who was not very much into pretending or showbiz. If you take christmas serious and If you want to have a nice feast in the memory of Jesus ' birth. Just have it within your means. I don't think HE would like to have you stressed because of HIM. And it's only still october! Easy for me- I'm not christian:)
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As a strict atheist , christmas means very little to me , as a family , we forget about all the present stuff as none of us are wealthy , we usually get together on the day and enjoy a meal together and each others company .
    Jillyb
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Exactly. As a strict atheist I try to ignore the commercial hysteria that kicks in months in advance. Just to spend the evening in question as usual. Cuddling the cat and reading. I hate christmas and the resulting big biz bull. And family wars as the outcome. As a looker on it amuses me.
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Christine

    It's a decision I haven't come to lightly, i need to pay my dad as he helped me get a car this year as my old one had chronic leaking....That is my priority even though he's getting dribbles of money...I hate people being silent, say what you feel even if its not nice, where i stand that's how i like to be informed..

    Elainexx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Caliban

    I know its only october but we have so many we have to plan at this time...I just can;t see me getting a job before christmas, even after it will be a miracle..
    Wishing I was other religion too!

    Elainexx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Jilly

    Well we won;t be doing that I doubt as we have house for sale here in kendal...Plus I put the kibush on last year as was only out of hospital post TKR..

    Elainexx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,094
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I wouldn't worry about it..if they dont understand that you cant afford it ..then that is up to them...you are doing right by your mum and dad..and that is what counts...
    Love
    Barbara
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,252
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    caliban wrote:
    If I remember the story properly christmas is celebrated as J.Christ 's birthday. Something enjoyable for you christians. If I remember well, Jesus seemed to have been a rather relaxed anti-capitalistic pacifist who was not very much into pretending or showbiz. If you take christmas serious and If you want to have a nice feast in the memory of Jesus ' birth. Just have it within your means. I don't think HE would like to have you stressed because of HIM. And it's only still october! Easy for me- I'm not christian:)

    Caliban, that's the best sermon on Christmas I've heard in a long time – and I do regard myself as a christian, though whether or not it could be proved is up for discussion :oops:

    Elaine, I think it's possible to make good presents out of very meagre resources but sometimes one does just have to say “I can't afford presents (this year) so please don't buy me any”. Mind you, with nephews and nieces, it's usually a one-way process from the start :roll: Perhaps I'm showing my age but I wouldn't do this via Facebook. Actually, I don't do anything via Facebook as I dislike it. A phone call would be more personal.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Elaine, I don't know what it is about the youth of today, they never thank you when you buy them birthday or Christmas pressies. We would get a smacked behind if we didn't thank relatives for B'day or Xmas pressies! And they don't reply to texts or messages from any relations just their friends!!
    We have this rule in our family once you hit 16yrs old you no longer get B'day or Xmas prezzies as your classed as an adult!
    We only send Xmas pressies to close family i.e partners, sisters & parents. If you have children then obviously you send them pressies as well. That makes Christmas a little easier. We don't have anyone to Christmas dinner. It's just my OH & I plus my furry babies!!
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I love to buy for my Nieces and Nephews and their children too but this will probably be my last year with cuts heading my way in 2014. A couple earn quite good wages but I don't like to be selective and just send to those who are hard-up. The same N&N's forget to thank me each year though :roll: I'm tempted to send their cash to charity'on their behalf'.

    I remember when I stopped getting gifts from Aunts and Uncles and accepted it as either they couldn't manage anymore or they considered we were too grown up.

    But on £71 per week they really shouldn't expect anything and be thankful for the years you've been able to send a gift.

    Christmas has become a major worry for so many families and this year will be worse than ever so its time to just give to the closest members Elaine and others will have to accept that you have to cut back. I know it is difficult to tell them and some may object but you have given a very good reason and let them know in good time.

    Elizabethxxx
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree Elizabeth! In this day of age a lot of people are finding it hard to live hand to mouth.Then Christmas comes a long and they are almost bullied by these tv adverts showing the latest game ect and their kids see it and want it for Christmas and kids don't understand the value of money. This is why so many people are in debt! They feel they must make Christmas special for their children, get the presents they want, make the dinner special. It all adds up. That's why families must get together and say right keep Christmas to just very close family no gifts to Aunts & Uncles and Nieces & Nephews and outside that. The Cards are expensive as well these days! They are bad enough!!
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am just sorry that normal discussion on this thread led to Caliban leaving the site? Moderators are going a bit PC mad now..

    Elainexx