hospital

lily

Good afternoon

not ben on too much as a lot going on at the moment

Got rushed into hospital late Friday night with what I can only describe as pain so bad I would have gladly taken a hammer to my body, they did a load of tests and a marker came back as very high, they at first thought I had a clot on my lung but turns out its my lympth nodes which are causing the markers..

Whilst on the ward a nurse came to see me asking about my homelife, I told the truth and later I over heard her telling another nurse that my homelife was disguisting, as my 13 yo has to help me with day to day care, I was so upset, got home late sunday afternoon

Monday morning I went to the doctors to hand in discharge papers and was told to come back later as I have to fone for an appointment for a mammory scan,

I got a fone call yesterday telling me to come into the docs as I could not make Monday afternoon. I went in and got my letter, tried to fone the number but got nowhere so decided to do it online but got no date so tried to fone again. luckily I finally got through and the man on the fone said I was to book in for an urgent breast surgery, I told him there must be a mistake but he said no, went over my details and its definatly for me, theres no appointment but he did say that as its urgent they will contact me but if I have no heard by 26th I should fone back.

I so nervous and to top it all got a fonecall from social services as they want to meet me about the referral they have had from the hospital.

Why cant people just keep their noses out, my 13 yo never misses school, has an active social life and is not neglected in any way, now I feel so distressed that I have to have help, I feel such a bad parent

Just want to rant so please forgive me

Take care
Lily x

dreamdaisy

Oh lily, not for one moment do I think you are a bad parent, what you have (and are lucky to have) is a caring son. People are not being deliberately nosey, they asked, you answered honestly, they have listened and noted how difficult it must be for you and your lad - surely they have both your interests at heart.

Your lad is coping with a great deal at the moment and it may well be time for you to seek some extra help, especially with what is coming up in the near future. I agree that few of us would like 'outsiders' becoming involved but sometimes that is necessary for the health and well-being of all involved. I hope that someone else will be along soon with better words than mine. ((())) DD

suzygirl

Lily, you have a lot on your plate and are understandably upset. Social services will be coming to see how they can help, with care for you in any way. They will also see how they can support your son. They run carers clubs for children with outings and the chance to meet other youngsters in the same boat. I am sure it will be a friendly visit and not a 'policing' visit. If nervous do you have a family member or friend you can have with you?

Concentrate on getting things ready for your upcoming surgery, as social services will no doubt be interested in your plans and needs for that time.

Look after yourself, your son sounds a treasure.

mig

My thoughts are with you Lily ,how lucky are you having such a wonderful son,hugs for you (((()))) and your son.(((()))) Mig

stickywicket

Oh Lily, what an awful few days you've had! It must have been very scary for both you and your lovely son when you were rushed into hospital in such pain. I'm sure that, when the nurse was talking about your home life being disgusting because your boy had to help with your day-to-day care she meant that it was disgusting that people should be in that situation not that you, personally, were disgusting.

The surgery has come as a shock but there are many of us out here who are living proof of the success of breast surgery. I had a mastectomy for breast cancer about twenty years ago now. Three years later the doc told me he didn't need to see me again and it's now just part of my past.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in needing help from Social Services. Many on here do, including myself. They have sorted out several things for me including my bath lift. People can't 'just keep their noses out', Lily, because, if you need a hospital stay, someone has to look after your boy. It's good that they are sorting something out for him in advance. I'm sure you'd worry if he was left at home by himself which, in any case, he can't be legally as he's too young.He seems a lovely lad though. I'm sure you've done a great job bringing him up.

Please keep in touch and let us support you through this.

bubbadog

Lily, my thoughts are with you, you must feel scared and confused at the moment not knowing what's going on being told one thing and then another. Then finding out you need Breast Surgery. Your son is a god send and is a real saint for doing what he does for you. Not many boys these days are as caring as your son, they prefer their X-boxes and 'hanging' with their mates! He really does deserve an award. I know you feel the social are 'butting in' but there is no shame in getting some extra help, I agree with SW they where not talking about your home and yourself when they said 'Disgusting' they meant the situation your son is having to deal with, he is only a child after all. Any extra help would help you and your Son. I wish I could get some extra help from the Social to give my husband some free time to his self. Just listen to what they have to say Lily and then make your mind up. Please let us know how you get on with everything, we are here for you if you need us. Sending you a (())