Do you ever wonder if you are invisible?

Starburst
Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
edited 9. Dec 2013, 10:21 in Community Chit-chat archive
I don't usually venture to the shops at this time of year but needs must. I went at lunchtime to a local shopping mall, so I knew it would be busy and prepared myself. What I wasn't prepared for was the number of people walking into me, shoving me out of the way to get to the lift (!) and just generally ignoring me. My RA is a bit unhappy at the moment, so I was walking slowly and unsteadily with my crutches. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my crutches render me invisible in public!

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've not had that problem but that may be because I am older, fatter, noisier and un-afraid to announce my presence. My favourite shout is 'Crip coming through!' The result hints that I could pass as Moses. :wink: DD

    PS Beware of the pushchair-shovers; they'm the worst.
  • AvadaKedavra
    AvadaKedavra Member Posts: 33
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Starburst wrote:
    I don't usually venture to the shops at this time of year but needs must. I went at lunchtime to a local shopping mall, so I knew it would be busy and prepared myself. What I wasn't prepared for was the number of people walking into me, shoving me out of the way to get to the lift (!) and just generally ignoring me. My RA is a bit unhappy at the moment, so I was walking slowly and unsteadily with my crutches. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my crutches render me invisible in public!

    Yes I know exactly what you mean, minus the crutches I have the same issue. Slightly off topic but relevant. I feel invisible when I open a door for someone, and they look at you and walk through the door. All good right? Yes! EXCEPT No Thank you! Now that, that, grinds my gears. It happens quite a lot as well. I mean, I don't make a habit of opening doors for people, but there are occasions when it would almost be inappropriate not to. Generally, I find it is the younger people with the problem. Most old people are very grateful.
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes frequently! I have to walk with a three wheeled walker and people push shove and refuse to move for me. In fact they expect me to move out of their way! Drives me mad as it is so tiring and painful to take each and every step. I think they just look at my face and assume I am ok, and that is that.

    Sometimes I feel like saying, I don't walk with this because it matches my outfit :lol:

    Ok, rant over :shock:
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,070
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gosh Sophie!! Horrible and selfish people :(

    Don't let it upset you remember there are folks like our new friend Advekadavra who will hold the door for you :)

    I hope you managed to do what you set out to and DD your unique technique made me laugh :)

    Suzygirl - maybe that's your retort there "I'm not using this because it matches my outfit" ought to make them laugh as well as think ;)

    Let us hope they never feel so much pain that every step takes courage

    Love and ((()))

    toni xxx
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Avada ~ I was always brought up to hold doors open for everyone and I can't tell you how many dirty looks I've had all for being kind and holding open a door!

    Not wanting to be ageist, I wasn't going to mention that it is always younger people who barge into me. If I ever have children, I hope to bring them up to be aware of other people!
  • AvadaKedavra
    AvadaKedavra Member Posts: 33
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Starburst wrote:
    Avada ~ I was always brought up to hold doors open for everyone and I can't tell you how many dirty looks I've had all for being kind and holding open a door!

    Not wanting to be ageist, I wasn't going to mention that it is always younger people who barge into me. If I ever have children, I hope to bring them up to be aware of other people!

    Yes it's kind of funny really, you can understand if someone gives you a dirty look for NOT holding a door open. It's like they're thinking you're holding a door open for me? You selfish so and so.....LOL.

    I am defo not being ageist, but the fact is out of the people who I've opened a door for, there is a higher percentage of young people that have no manners.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have spent years now with either crutches or my rollator and I have learned the following.

    1. Be wary of young children roaming around in the street, of course they are lost in a world of their own and won't be paying 'attention' to the world around them; when all you can see are knees what's the interest? I have learned to stop and wait until I am by-passed, usually without a word from the attending adults. The worst ones, however, are the bored children who use the shop or supermarket as a playground, running in and out of dispalys at full-tilt. If they run into me then that is their fault because they are in a public area and should behave as such. Sloppy parenting is the cause and then I should be the one apologised to, not sworn at. DoD - dream on daisy.

    2. Be wary of the 'active elderly', viz those walking without any form of aid. They happily let doors slam in my face and sail through without a word of thanks if I am playing doorkeeper. It's like the little children but with another sixty or so years' experience of life. They should no better but either don't or have forgotten.

    3. The politest people I have experienced are usually aged between the mid-teens and mid-forties. We even had a teen, complete with sagging jeans and Harry Styles-hair salute his thanks as he crossed the road in front of Bea today - blissfully ignorant of the fact that I had a red light and couldn't move anyway. :) Bless.

    I remember Mr DD coming to see me in hospital one Sunday evening. I was in bed when a man and woman burst in through the swing doors, I then saw my Belovéd catching one as he followed them. He sat down and said this couple had done this with every set of doors from the car park onwards - we counted ten pairs. Not once did they check if anyone was behind them. They were sat with a patient opposite, after greetings they pulled out a Bible, followed by readings and prayers. Well, it was a Sunday and I suppose they had greater things on their mind compared to the trivial matter of manners. DD
  • Kittkat
    Kittkat Member Posts: 309
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Sophie how annoying! I don't have crutches and get barged into all the time. Or people don't leave enough room on the path and expect me to go into a busy road. Huh? Selfish people gggrrrrr :x
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I totally agree, I have had several incidences where I become both invisible but also apparently unable to speak. One time, while in my buggy, at a check out, I heard the lady say to my OH "is everything ok, it's a shame isn't it" :shock: Cheek, never mind it's a shame, just swipe my shopping and yes, you can pack it too. 8)
  • neitshade
    neitshade Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My experience is similar to that of dreamdaisy. The worst seem to be in their late forties or older. Children can be a nuisance, but it's rare that they don't apologise for getting in my way. Older people tut at me though, as if I've just ruined their whole year because they've had to move aside a few inches to avoid knocking me over, and if they actually make contact there's often lots of swearing.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,092
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Buses used to be my bete noir in the days when I could use them. I was young and didn't look particularly arthritic so everyone expected me to get off much quicker than I could. I could feel myself being shoved from behind and it was very scary. (Now I'm old and look arthritic things are so much better :xmas_cheesygrin: )
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm happy to report that I have brought my children up to have manners, and they will always hold doors open for people, and give up their seat on a bus etc, and always say please and thankyou. My son (16) often complains that people don't acknowledge it, but he always counters that with saying why should he lower himself to be just as rude.

    I use a stick when I go out, and people on the bus are the worst. The more they tut the slower I will go! One woman at the bus station was so desperate to get the front seat on the bus that she kicked my stick out from under me while I was leaning on it, to stop me getting in front of her!!! She was so lucky she didn't get it in the shin!
  • neitshade
    neitshade Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've tried to train myself to be pig ignorant and stand my ground, but it's difficult. It goes against how I was brought up!

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