Christmas Carols For Arthritics

Numptydumpty

OK peeps, it's that time of year again, I'll start the ball rolling

To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"


Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, your pain is unrelenting,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, your pain is unrelenting,
Not only bad when summer's here,
But also when it's cold and drear,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, your pain is unrelenting.

Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, much displeasure thou can'st give me,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, much displeasure thou can'st give me,
How often has a painful knee,
Afforded me great misery,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, much displeasure thou can'st give me.

Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, my joints are so unsightly,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis my, joints are so unsightly,
From base to summit they all ache,
There's only so much I can take,
Oh Arthritis, Oh Arthritis, my joints are so unsightly.

Over to you 8)

dreamdaisy

I was thinking about this the other night - well done on providing an excellent start! DD

Numptydumpty

To the tune of "I Saw Three Ships"

I took three Sulfasalazine, on Christmas Day on Christmas Day,
I took three Sulfasalazine , on Christmas Day in the morning.

And what was in those Sulfs all three, on Christmas Day on Christmas Day,
And what was in those Sulfs all three, on Christmas Day in the morning.

Something to give me yellow pee, on Christmas Day on Christmas Day,
Something to give me yellow pee, on Christmas Day in the morning.

stickywicket

Ah, a good and timely thread, Numpty, and many thanks for your brilliant efforts. Alas, my brain cell is currently dormant and all I can come up with so far is this:

The first Oh xxxx!
arthritics did say
was on waking and creaking
on Christmas Day
On Christmas Day as they
lay stiff in their beds
thinking forget the turkey
just bring on the meds.
Oh xxxx! Oh xxxx! Oh xxxx! Oh xxxx!
Knees, hips, hands, ankles and shoulders as well.

Please note, I have kindly done my own moderating here

Numptydumpty

Ha ha, love it Sticky!

C'mon DD, where's yours?

dreamdaisy

Un-quiet night, restless night,
All is hurty, nowt is bright
Joint upon joint is
Twanging my brain
Feeling fed up
As I move to ease pain
Lo! There the sun comes aga..........ain
Lo! There the sun comes again.

:carolers:

DD

villier

Thanks girls, knew you lot would start the Christmas cheer :madnoel: :presents1:


Here is my miserable attempt, not a carol but a Christmas song.

Here it is Merry Christmas(Slade)

Are Arthritic joints at peace or having a ball
Is it time to give the doc another call
Let's hope it's not as serious
As what we thought at first
Afraid it's back to popping pills
Unfortunately that's a must

So hear it is Merry Christmas
We want to have a ball
But it's up to dear Arthritis
We know it is your call :santa: :rudolph: :xmas_redface: xx

stickywicket

Great inspiring stuff as usual, ladies. I'm afraid I'm still reduced to one-verse carols. I too, had a go at Silent Night but I tend to think of mine more as Unsilent Night.

Rituximab
Golimumab
Enbrel, Infliximab
Not forgetting sulphasalzine,
meth, hydroxy, azathioprine,
NSAIDS, trammies and cocos
NSAIDS, trammies and coke.

Numptydumpty

Ladies, these are all brilliant!


To the tune of "Away in a Manger"

Away with the fairies,
I'm on Tramadol,
Green and yellow beauties,
Also Co-codamol,
Then when it's bedtime,
There's Amitriptyline,
I've tried Gabapentin,
But they make me dream,

My joints are a twanging,
They keep me awake,
Amitrips are not working,
What else can I take,
I reach for my wheat bag,
Hot water bottle too,
Oh how annoying,
Now I need the loo! :xmas_cry:


:carolers:

stickywicket

Oh come on, Numpty! You've had arthritis long enough to know that getting warm, comfy and snuggled down in bed invariable causes bladder weakness :xmas_evil:

Airwave!

ten aspirins, nine paracetamol, eight exercises, seven prescriptions, six physios, five gold injections, four appointments, three doctors cards, two french TENS (machines) and a part wrench in a knee...

OK, some work needed, but twas first thoughts! :xmas_redface:

applerose

These are brilliant ladies.

:carolers:

mig

Nearly had an accident I laughed so much. :xmas_redface: :xmas_cheesygrin: :carolers: Mig

barbara12

I love it... :candycane: and will be back later with my little input.. :madnoel: ...

stickywicket

In the bleak midwinter
arthritics made moan.
Fingers stiff as iron
Knee joints like a stone.
Meds don't help, we creak and groan
creak and groan.
In the bleak midwinter
Not so long ago.

Numptydumpty

Airwave! and Sticky, :xmas_cool:

Airwave!

Come on you lot, we'll get a song together for No. 1 at xmas. Noddy Holder gets £80,000 a year for everyone playing his song! :carolers: We might manage a ........eh ..new set of xmas lights??

toady

Ding dong, heavily I sigh
At 7 I am syringing
Ding dong, medically in thigh
By heavens, that Enbrel's stinging!

"Glo--or-or-or-or-or-ia!" *all manner of expletives*

In I go, below, below -
Let needle here be plungen
And "Yeow, yeow, yeow!"
By me will loud be sungen

[repeat chorus]

Pray you, suitably prime,
You festive inject-in-ers -
May you beautifully time
Your evetime noms and dinners!


Written for those who, like myself, have been unfortunate or daft enough to have their injection day fall on Christmas Day, and hope none of you have had to leave your gravy congealing while you do so.

Also hope none of you are so tired & frayed by the whole xmas thing that you have basted your thigh and mtx'ed the turkey

(I love this thread, fantastic work!! )

:noel:

stickywicket

Toady, that was a gem. Thank you.

stickywicket

Bumped up for Numpty and her followers :carolers:

dreamdaisy

Crikey, we had some crackers there, didn't we? I have just brought the roof down with a loud rendition of Toady's fabulous reworking! :cheesygrin:

DD wanders off, brain (what's left of it) ticking over . . . .

tkachev

I think I'll be singing some of these carols. they are brilliant!

Elizabeth

villier

Thanks Sticky for bumping this up had a great laugh, being a pred head at the moment nothing springs to mind. I am away to have a wee sing song :carolers: xx

theresak

Wow!! I'm truly impressed - what wonderfully creative people!

toady

dreamdaisy wrote:

I have just brought the roof down with a loud rendition of Toady's fabulous reworking! :cheesygrin:

Well I never :xmas_cheesygrin:

Performing rights please :xmas_cheesygrin: I'll take it in chocolate money ta.