Devastated.

mellivenelli

Well the positive outlook I displayed last week has not been maintained one iota.
Feeling angry and upset at whats going on (Diagnosed last week with Seronegative Inflammatory Arthritis and Hypermobility Syndrome).

In a nutshell I've been off work a year. I work in the NHS. I attended a meeting on thursday and was told that now i've been off work a year they need to know (understandably) when or if I'm returning to work.

The upshot of it is at the moment i just don't know if its possible. They mentioned that it all rested on a medical (which I had yesterday) and if the doctor said I was unfit to work (which she did) at that then they move towards ending my contract.

They said I'm too young for medical retirement. I'm 39. They seem to be pushing for something called 'Mutual Termination' which means they give me a weeks wages for every year I've worked for the trust. Which is 5.

I can't stop crying.

I HATE MY BODY AND HOW ITS LET ME DOWN!!!

ritwren

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. Do you have a union rep? I would advise you not to agree to anything before you speak to either a union rep or CAB or one of the voluntary groups who can help you. I'm sure others here will give you more support.
Ritwen

barbara12

Oh Lovey
I am so so sorry to hear this, I just cant imagine how you must feel, ..it just doesn't seem fair at all that they cant find a way of letting you carry on..
I am stuck for words really and so wish I could come and give you a hug ..please keep talking to us lot..honestly it will help if only a little ..(((()))xx

Boomer13

It's terribly unfair, I hate being retired too. I am sorry. ((()))

That said, I started my treatments for seroneg. arthritis one year ago, symptoms started 8 years ago and retired for 4 years. My rheum still thinks there's hope.....Maybe there is for you too? I would like to think so, even part-time? Please don't give up.

xxAnna

Kittkat

I can relate to how you feel about the body letting you down! Hope you can get something sorted it is so unfair! Take care X

lulubell69

Hi
I too have sero neg and I was medically retired last year age 43. My employers were pleased to get rid of me, out of ten years I was off sick over 3 and a half years in total. I strongly agree with ritwen, do not agree to anything until you know what your rights etc are. I got a very good pay off and a monthly pension for life.
I do miss working but my health is rapidly declining, and I would be unable to hold down any job whether part time or full time. I too was devastated on leaving work, none of my colleagues have kept in touch, however I am now able to slow right down and do things at a much slower pace.
I hope you get support from those around you and don't be fobbed off easily, get know your rights. Good luck and take care.
Keep in touch
Les

Starburst

(((mellivenelli)))) I'm not surprised you're feeling so distressed. Sometimes the shock of a diagnosis takes a while to really affect you and then, something else happens and it hits you all at once.

I'm afraid I don't know much about the NHS and medical retirement but it's worth speaking to ACAS, do you have a union rep too? I'm not sure what sort of role you're in but if you're in a profession such as; nursing, you can seek support from your regulatory body.

It's ok to feel angry and upset and let down by your body. Things sound as if they've been very overwhelming. We are always here if you need anything.

Take good care of yourself.

bubbles

definitely don't agree to this mutual termination, of 5 weeks pay, that sounds very off to me. I was medically retired when I was 41, with a lump sum and a life pension from the NHS.
Hugs winging their way to you, let us know how things go. xx Bubbles

stickywicket

I can't help on the work front but I do think that part of this is just realising the full implications and the natural grieving for what has been, and will be, lost. Your body is the only one you'll ever have, mellivenelli. You don't have full control over it but you'll learn to make the most of it. ((()))

mellivenelli

thanks everyone.

I took a union rep to the meeting. She was little help. She did say after th meeting ended that under no circumstances should I resign.

I found it strange that the doctor had the email from the HR meeting open when i walked into the roomand she used the exact phrase the HR woman used the day before which was that I am "too young for medical retirement." I spoke to the union rep on friday after my medical review and she was about as much use as a glass eye in the fog

I won't resign.

I have got another two month sicknote from my GP in the meantime.

I'm going to ask to speak to the union solicitir and ask where I stand in the meantime. I want to know the legalities of it all. I think theyre trying to make me crack.

barbara12

Gosh Mell I wish I could offer more help, but you stick to it...and please let us know how you get on...xx

ritwren

Sorry to hear that the union rep was''nt much help. I do hope you get some kind of support from someone, have you anyone or any service you could ask for help like CAB or something? You hang in there and know that we're all behind you.
Sending good vibes.
Ritwren

DebbieT

It does sound suss!! :? I'd definitely try & get some further
information & legal advice. The very best of luck.

I'm sorry ure struggling so much with the diagnosis & life changes that it brings.
I was 32 & a Gymnastics Coach wen I had to give up work to care for my hubby. 5 years later I got diagnosed with Psoriatic & Osteo Arthritis, I've had chronic severe plaque Psoriasis since I was 25 & the list keeps going & going

You will learn to roll with the punches eventually. Some manage it faster than others. I think my life had already shrank so much by the time I was physically affected that it didn't cause depression etc for me, thankfully. I've been struggling with such a small amount of mobility now that it's definitely been getting me down a lot.

Things hit us all at different times, there are no rights & wrongs. Try not to put too much pressure on ureself.

((((Hugs))))

Xxx xxX

grandadpaul

I have been off work for three months.
one treatment stopped working and now waiting for the new one to kick in.
I have to go into work tomorrow so they can see how i am getting on.
All firms are different but ours give you about six months.
They then call you in with a union rep and well in no uncertain terms pay you off.
I believe the pay off can be quite good, but we have a strong union.
But as i said all firms are different.
I hope to be back at work in a few weeks, i am in my early 50s and am trying to last until 60.
However great your pay off is/if you do get one. there are other things to consider like you not paying into the companys pension scheme any more etc. All the things that help in our retirement.
Seek plenty of advice as all have said and i wish you well with it.
Paul