2 & 1/2 months on taking Methotrexate

fortuna

Apart from 2 days a week absolutely exhausted I seem to be one of the lucky ones as although my hands and wrists are weak and some fingers numb I have no real pain. I am able to crochet again which I enjoy.

Having written the above there are a couple of things I would like opinions on!

Something odd has happened on 3 separate occasions I have had a raised rash on both forearms which lasts for a day and then disappears. I am not eating differently or using different soap. Is this the MTX?
Also my feet and ankles are swelling quite often my GP has doubled my Furosemide but it still happens.

Fortuna

dreamdaisy

The raised rash on the forearms sounds very much to me like meth rash but I am not a doc; are you applying sunscreen when you go outside? It may be worth contacting your Rheumatology Helpline for advice because when I had this they stopped my tablet meth. DD

fortuna

Thanks DD. I hadn't been outside for the previous 4 or 5 days, having one of my black moods,so it certainly wasn't sunshine.
I have to go out tomorrow so will take precautions as it seems we will have sunshine (Berkshire).
fortuna

fortuna

Thanks DD. I hadn't been outside for the previous 4 or 5 days, having one of my black moods,so it certainly wasn't sunshine.
I have to go out tomorrow so will take precautions as it seems we will have sunshine (Berkshire).
fortuna

stickywicket

I'm so sorry to hear about your 'black moods', fortuna. Anything we can do to help?

fortuna

SW thanks for asking. I don't know what anyone can do... they come on me for no apparent reason. I am lonely, My partner of 16 years died of a heart attack , in 5 minutes in front of me, on New year's day 2010. We were living in Spain and after the immediate shock I had to pack up and return to England. All very distressing and hard to cope with.
Back here I have a nice flat and my 2 grown up children are near but they are so busy with their own families and work and I well remember being in their position myself. My daughter particularly is great. My son's wife is recovering from breast cancer and I can't expect more from him.
I actually got to the stage, through the influence from an old friend of joining Saga Connections and met a very nice, kind man. This was back in September and all went well until my diagnosis of RA. I couldn't cope with his platitudes and the fact that his wife had 4 major illnesses over 10 years and that he nursed her though through them until her death 3 years ago. I didn't feel I could put him through all the hospital and Dr appointments that were happening to me. So I finished our short relationship at the end of January. Seeing how bad my hands and feet were and fearing the worst I just didn't feel it was fair and that he should seek out someone with a better prognosis! He wasn't happy about it but eventually accepted it.
I hate Bank holidays especially long ones like Easter so i suppose the thought of a long WE has probably brought on this latest feeling of doom and gloom.
I shouldn't be like this there are so many people on this forum who are so much worse off than I am and that feeling of of guilt makes it worse.
Can't decide whether to post this or delete it! Decision made -will post,
Fortuna

barbara12

Fortuna
I have posted on your other thread ,but sorry I have only just seen this, how sad that you lost your husband like that, then what could have been a new love, but how very brave of you..I don't think I could have done what you did. I'm so glad you joined us like you say family have there own lives and not always there but you can talk to us lot anytime.. I am glad you posted it , getting things out is a good release.. (((())) xx

Pippa

Sounds like you've had a rough time Fortuna so not surprised you get down sometimes.

Hopefully some warm sunshine will be along soon to stay, to brighten us all up!

I do understand how you felt re your relationship. I'm married and honestly feel some, no, most days, that my husband should move on as I feel his future is much brighter than mine.
I feel any future I may have thought I had has now been whipped away following my diagnosis.

But hey, longer days and some warm weather is definitely something to look forward to.
Hope you're feeling better.

stickywicket

That was a brave decision, fortuna, but you seem to be someone who is not afraid to take tough decisions. After the dreadful shock of your partner's death you made yourself a new life here in England but remain determined not to impose on your children. You decided to look to the future by joining Saga Connections but, when RA reared its ugly head, you ended your new relationship partly out of concern for his feelings and partly because 'I couldn't cope with his platitudes'. How honest of you to face facts like that!

You say your black moods come on ' for no apparent reason'. I can see plenty of reasons here and I think any one of them would be enough to floor many people. No wonder you hate Bank Holidays. They are a bit like the twinkling lights we see in other people's houses. The impression is always that everyone else is playing Happy Families, or at least having a good time, while only we remain alone. I know it's not really like that and I'm sure you do too but, while reason dictates one thing, emotion dictates another.

You are a strong lady. You will cope with your RA and, maybe, in time, when you yourself are more used to your RA, the things it takes away from your life and the insights that it offers, you'll find someone else to share your life with. Maybe your Saga friend came along a little early in your arthritic life. But please don't write yourself off because of it. You have a great deal to bring to a relationship. Just be patient with yourself.

And don't feel guilty. Guilt is the most useless emotion known to man (and woman). There will always be people on the forum, in your town, in the UK, in the world who are much worse off than any of us. That doesn't write off our own problems and we each have to deal with our own. You have dealt, very well, with a great many problems. There is no shame in sharing them. There will be people on here all over the Bank Holiday weekend. You will not be alone.

dibdab

Hi Fortuna,
I really don't have anything to add to what the other wise people here have said, but I just wanted to say keep talking to us-we're always here to listen and do our best to understand. It might seem a bit distant now, but the meds for RA will help you to live with this disease-when you have found the right combination it will hold things in check so that you'll find a way of dealing with things-we all get fairly inventive in day to day tasks :?. And who knows- a wonderful friend may well be waiting out there ready to meet you and walk with you into the future.

Deb xx

dreamdaisy

Poor you, I am too under the weather to reply properly but I hope to be better tomorrow and I'll have a bash then. DD

fortuna

Hello all, Thank you for your thoughts. I did feel a bit brighter for unloading some of my problems and did manage to make myself go in to town to get my second eldest grandson's birthday and card present (cash). It is a beautiful day here which does help.
I have new blinds being fitted on Thursday which means moving furniture and cleaning the parts that don't get a lot of attention these days. But not today I promise myself I will get up early tomorrow and do the necessary.ll But today I shall take it easy and maybe sit in the garden and do some crochet or read my book.
Thanks again all you wise and wonderful supporters,
Fortuna

PS dreamdaisy only just spotted your reply. Sorry to hear you are having
a bad day and hope it will be a bit better tomorrow.

stickywicket

Don't overdo it, will you

fortuna

Should have taken your advice SW. I did do the window end of the kitchen yesterday and this morning had to move my desk out of the bay window and sort loads of books papers etc. And the cleaning! Hands and knees job - more like lying than kneeling as my knees don't like it and then trying to get up with painful wrists! Glad no-one can see in.
Anyway I had a real spring clean but am really suffering now. But the worse thing is I don't like the blinds!!! They are beautifully made and sit within a frame on the window. But the colour it's almost fire engine red! When I looked at the swatch it looked a darkish crimson. They are the colour I chose so there is nothing I can do.
So if I was depressed before this has done nothing to help and I really can't afford to get them changed - it would probably be cheaper to change my rugs and cushions etc.
Well I've got that off my chest not sure if I feel any better! And I didn't realise it is Easter this W/E I thought it was next week.
Hope you are all having a reasonable day and wish you a happy W/E
Fortuna

fortuna

Should have taken your advice SW. I did do the window end of the kitchen yesterday and this morning had to move my desk out of the bay window and sort loads of books papers etc. And the cleaning! Hands and knees job - more like lying than kneeling as my knees don't like it and then trying to get up with painful wrists! Glad no-one can see in.
Anyway I had a real spring clean but am really suffering now. But the worse thing is I don't like the blinds!!! They are beautifully made and sit within a frame on the window. But the colour it's almost fire engine red! When I looked at the swatch it looked a darkish crimson. They are the colour I chose so there is nothing I can do.
So if I was depressed before this has done nothing to help and I really can't afford to get them changed - it would probably be cheaper to change my rugs and cushions etc.
Well I've got that off my chest not sure if I feel any better! And I didn't realise it is Easter this W/E I thought it was next week.
Hope you are all having a reasonable day and wish you a happy W/E
Fortuna

stickywicket

Oh dear! Payback strikes again :roll: One thing I have learned is that there are very few 'had to's or 'must's in arthritic life. Most things are, ultimately, a matter of choice.

Re the blinds - if the colour really doesn't match the swatch why not complain? Though I guess sometimes things do look a different shade in different lights or at different angles.