want to move house

bridesmum

Me and my husband moved into our current home 4 years ago. We had previously lived in our family home for 22 years. In 2009 we stupidly moved to Cyprus which was the biggest mistake of our lives. We sold up over here and helped our children with deposits for houses of their own. I knew that it was a mistake to go, but due to financial commitments we went. I cried all the way there and pretty much non stop for the next 6 months
We then came back to the UK and relocated to a small town 40 minutes drive away from where we used to live and all our family. I really wanted to go back to our original town but my husband wouldn't and as I was the one who had started this whole sorry mess I agreed. Due to my getting carried away with the whole place in the sun business we have managed to lose approximately £40, 000. We're now grandparents and I want to be nearer our family. My husband is determined that he isn't moving as he loves it here and doesn't want to lose yet more money. He won't speak about it and just walks away if I try to discuss it. Today the whole family were round for lunch and I brought the subject up as I thought he might listen to the family who really want us to be closer to them. He refused to listen and did his usual walking off trick.

19smp59

Moving is so stressful, so the last few years must have been very hard, maybe your husband just can't face it again, or at least for the moment. Why not try and make the best of where you are, 40 minutes from family isn't too bad at all. Perhaps in a few years he will consider moving again or perhaps you will feel settled where you are. I think perhaps you need to give it all time.

Suzanne x

krisbe

I agree moving house is stressful and when you see a house you like, when you move there are always things you find you don't like about it, or things you didn't notice before. You could move back to where you were before and find that it's not the same. Or you may find you move nearer your children and then they move away! Give it more time, make your house your own by decorating it to your taste, make changes and improve it. Forty minutes is not too far away, it's certainly nearer than Cyprus. With the current housing market as it is you will find that there are not many houses on the market to choose from so you will end up choosing a house which is not your ideal one or in the best location and that will be another mistake. Take care.

barbara12

Aww this must be awful for you , what you did in the begging was what you thought was right for everyone..and Cyprus is such a beautiful place I can understand why you moved..hopefully your husband will soften has time goes by..think the family is a good idea but don't let them lay it on ...very suckle over time..I will have everything crossed for you and please keep us updated..x

bubbadog

Moving is the most stressful thing you will ever do and by the sounds of it you both must be super stressed out moving back and forth over the last few years!! You need to give you & your OH sometime to get your bearings back and chill after all the stress. It does get harder the older you get as well! If you really want to move to your original town why don't you get some particulars of houses for sale where you want to go and sneak them inside a newspaper he reads!!

stickywicket

I'm with the others, bridesmum. Forty minutes isn't far away. In fact I think it's quite an ideal distance. When our two were young we lived about 40 mins from both sets of parents albeit in different directions. Now we're about 3 hours from one son and grandson and 24 hours from the other :roll: That's not ideal but it's how things are and have to be so we just enjoy the holiday periods together and skype regularly.

It sounds as if your husband wasn't too keen on moving to Cyprus in the first place but he did, for your sake, and has now moved back and made the best of things again. I'd personally leave him in peace rather than getting the family to put pressure on him. Maybe he walks away because he doesn't want to upset any of you. Why do you feel it's so important to be closer?

mamasmurf

40 minutes to an hour does sound ideal to me ; near enough to help each other , but far enough away that you're not " under each others' feet " !
mamasmurf

dreamdaisy

I nearly understand why you want to move again but think this could be one demand too far. From what you said I gather you instituted the move to Cyprus (which didn't work out and at some financial cost to you as a couple). Financial cost is one thing, emotional cost is a whole different ball-game and I fear this could be very costly. He did what you wanted so maybe it's time for you to return the compliment? After all forty minutes of travel is not that far away. DD

kathbee

Have to agree with some of the other views. 40 minutes is not very far really.

I know it won't help you
but I wish my family/grandchildren were 40 minutes away.

I have to battle a 7 hour flight, not to mention 1 hour to the airport and 3 hours before take off, and then another 1 hour journey at the other end.

Hope you can settle soon and feel better about everything.
Moving is so stressful as you will know.

Kath