Tuesday blues

nearlybionic

Hi
I am feeling a bit down today, well for the past few days really. Since my LTHR dislocated I have tried to keep positive and have been doing my physio exercises regularly, as well as going swimming. I have been told to try to improve my muscle tone around my hip that was damaged in the dislocation. But I have had awful pain in my back, buttocks, down my legs, my knees and in my hips. I am taking Tramadol as prescribed at pain clinic, and it helps a little. My main worry is my hip still feels unstable, and I feel it `slide` in the joint, which scares me silly! I keep having, only what I can think is like a panic attack, (??) when I have flash backs to moment my hip came out and I feel panicky. I think I feel worse when I am on my own, like today. I keep my mobile on me all the time.
I have made a GP appointment, but may cancel it, as I feel stupid telling her how I feel. My pain makes me feel so tired, I am waking up when I move in bed, and think my tiredness is making my feelings worse.
I am sorry that I have sounded moany, but I just needed to let it out.
Thanks
NB

dibdab

Oh dear, it's no wonder you feel as you do. You had a horrible experience and it's not surprising you're feeling fearful and low. I think that talking to your GP is an excellent idea, they can only help if they know how you're struggling. Maybe they will suggest some talking therapy, or can reassure you about the future......please keep that appointment.

And do keep talking to us, it often helps just to write it all down and acknowledge our fears, uncertainties and hopes.

Sending hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Deb xx

nearlybionic

Hi Deb
Thanks for your reply. I haven`t cancelled my appointment yet. I have tried `Mindfulness` in the past but am not very good at clearing my mind! I always have something running around my head.
NB

dibdab

I'm hopeless at clearing my mind....was once doing a course where the homework involved "empty your mind...." and all I could do was see the cobwebs and the smears that meant I should be cleaning windows-far too much junk in my head to empty it :? .

Take care.

Deb x

toady

Hi, it's not at all silly telling your gp how you feel, it is not as if this is a minor moan about something little.. you have genuine concerns and it's worth checking them out, if your hip doesn't feel right that's bound to worry you .. and if you are not sleeping that will make anyone feel worse. I haven't had any form of replacement but can only imagine how traumatic it must be and your mind will register the shock your body has had and will react, and process the experience accordingly. Hope you feel better soon. Do you think the tramadol makes you feel a little panicky too, as it does seem to affect people's 'heads' from what I read and it may be adding to the anxiety? Not that that is a consolation but perhaps it would be better to feel it's not all 'you', I certainly found that, when a medication gave me anxiety. All the best.

dreamdaisy

It's no wonder that you are feeling as you do, the loss of your self-confidence after the dislocation is damaging to you as a person. You should see your GP and discuss this with hem / her because they may be able to help in some way. Keep the appointment and keep your mobile close by, that's just plain-plumb sensible. DD

stickywicket

((())) They're right you know, NB. Go for it

hileena111

Hi NB
Yes go and see that GP........even if it doesn't help it wont harm
Hileena's wise words {maybe} for today

Seriously I have an idea how you feel......after 2 THR's and a fracture after the 2nd one I am feeling very down and scared.
More than 3 months since THR and 11 weeks since the fracture I don't seem to be any further forward. :? Still on 2 crutches.

You must be so scared when you feel it moving....you are bound to think its going to come out again. :? After all that you hve been through.
Talking about physio....I'm off to the hospital gym today for my weekly appointment with Sandra and get some more exercises to do......think I'm doing enough at the moment :?
Go and see the GP and talk it out with him please
Love
Hileena

nearlybionic

Hi
Thank you all for your wise words. I know I should go, and probably still will. I am not sure what she will say, but she has been very kind in the past. I hope I don`t cry! It makes it harder to talk if i do.
It took a long time for me to build up my confidence in my hip after the first dislocation, so I guess it will again. Especially as I now have both hips replaced and feel i have no `strong ` hip to rely on.
I see the consultant again on 8th May. I received a copy of my last clinic letter to my GP (after the dislocation) and after reading it I am feeling concerned that he will say `OK it is fine now, get on with it ` sort of thing , and I need more than that as I am not aware of how to prevent a repeat of the 2 dislocations i have had. I am so scared it will go again without warning, maybe even at work-in a patient`s house (let`s not think about that one).
I will see the GP and take it from there.
Thanks again xx
NB

stickywicket

nearlybionic wrote:

I am not aware of how to prevent a repeat of the 2 dislocations i have had. I am so scared it will go again without warning, maybe even at work-in a patient`s house

Then ask, NB. These are the things that you need to know and he can tell you.

As for it going in a patient's house - be careful what you do and, if in doubt, don't. My husband was walking yesterday with, among others, a lady who had dislocated one of her THRs by picking up her granddaughter. She is now back to 8 mile walks but there are some things we just shouldn't attempt.

nearlybionic

Hi Sticky
I will ask him, but I tried to ask when I saw him just after it happened and because he said the movement I was doing shouldn`t cause a dislocation, it is hard to know what to avoid. But I will definitely discuss it again.
NB

dreamdaisy

I've said it before and I will say it again; docs are aware of theory (I have yet to meet a rheumatologist with any form of auto-immune rubbish or a GP with OA ) whereas us patients deal with the grim reality. And yes, it is grim even when we think things should be better.

There are no s'houlds' or 'should nots' in life because life tends to go horribly wrong when we least expect it. DD

barbara12

Hello NB sorry I am late seeing this, its no wounder you are panicky..so would I be...not sure if its any consolation but I am getting quite a bit of pain down the shin of my THR,the dislocation must have been awful for you..I suppose it will take time getting over this but it will help you telling us about it..but please see your GP crying is not bad and I am sure he will be sympathetic..sending you some gentle hugs ((((())))xx

stickywicket

How are you today, NB?

I felt with both my THRs that I was feeling my way in the first few weeks. I could tell how far I could safely bend and when I was entering the danger zone. Do you still do your quads? They really do strengthen the supporting muscles.

nearlybionic

Hi DD ,Barbara, and Sticky
Thanks for your posts x
I had my appointment with the GP. She wasn`t very sympathetic, in fact she made me feel like I had wasted her time. I told her how anxious I have been re my hip. I tried not to get upset, but was on the brink. She did say it could take 3 months to recover fully after an injury to a major joint as the hip. I hope I can try to go back to work before then though. Especially as my new boss rang just as I came out from the GP, saying she was referring me back to Occ Health ( then added "well, i am ringing for your permission!!" and she is arranging another meeting with HR. I am disappointed that she is going down that route again, as I haven`t seen the consultant again yet so have no new information for them, and could be told I am ok to go back using the new aids/equipment that was recently purchased for me to use.
My Occ Health department rang an hour later booking my appointment with them for 9th May, the day after I see the Consultant. No date for the HR meeting yet.
I then got a letter saying my wage will drop to half pay at the end of May if I d am not back at work by then.
A big lottery win would be very welcome just now!
So I came away feeling a bit stupid after seeing the GP, and then felt a bit more worried about work after the phone calls.
Sticky,, yes I do my quads and lots of other Physio advised exercises daily and swim 2- 3 times a week .
Thanks again x
NB

barbara12

Aww NB I am sorry your GP wasn't sympathetic ..if only they had to go through the same maybe then they would be,you have gone through so much and still keep on working ..they should know you are not wasting there time you are not the type..I wish I could help more but you know we are here..so you let off steam if it helps..(((()))) xx

stickywicket

From what I remember of my THRs I'd say 3 months is about right for being completely back to normal. If you're nattered about returning to work sooner, after your dislocation setback, then I can see you'll have cause for concern. I think you can only go by what your body tells you. I remember (now :oops: ) all the swimming etc. You're doing your best and can do no more. How would you feel about your hip if there were no pressure of returning to work?

nearlybionic

Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your reply, it is good to have you here to talk to. xx
Sticky,
I want to try going back to work, but am very nervous of a repeat dislocation as my role involves a lot of carrying of equipment into peoples homes, and I have more equipment than my colleagues now to try to reduce my bending and kneeling. However I will still need to bend to place equipment down to be used and bend to pick it up after use, which is more bending than i did when it dislocated last time. I know I can`t live in fear of it happening every day, but at home or in the office I can ask someone to help me, in the patients` home I can`t expect them to `help`me really! And I can`t do my role all office based. After my 2nd THR my employers were worried about my ability to carry out my role safely, and I pushed to be given a chance to show that I can. Now I feel they will say they were right in the concerns, although it has never dislocated whilst at work, and that I am too high a risk to do the job?? I want to say again, give me a chance. I think I need to have my next consultation with the Orthopaedic surgeon and ask him to tell me honestly what he advises me to do.
Thanks for your ears xx
NB

barbara12

NB you should be very proud of yourself giving it a go ,never mind what the others says you are doing your very best to do the job you love..although I can understand what you are saying..hopefully when you have had a chat with your consultant things will be clearer for you..ps how do you get a chat with him..when I went to seethe hip nurse she was sought of ..ooh he is really busy..oh well we plod on..you take care and I do hope things go well for you.. xx

stickywicket

This is a tricky one and I expect no-one will be able to take the responsibility of telling you exactly what you can and can't do as it sounds as if it's all to do, not just with how far you can bend and how much you can lift, but also angles and sizes and twistings and turnings. My gut feeling is that, unless you're sure, you shouldn't try. I know that doesn't work in a work situation and I know you want to continue with your job but......that chance you want might mess things up seriously. Is it worth the risk?

nearlybionic

Hi Barbara,
Thanks for your kind words xx I don`t know why you didn`t get to see your Consultant? I seem to see either the consultant or the registrar, even when the arthroplasty nurse had booked me in to see her one time! If you really need to speak to him at an appointment why not ring the secretary to check you can see him before the appointment?
Hi Sticky,
My head says it is risky to try to do the things I need to do in my work role, but my heart says I love my job, my families, my career, my salary!!
I am loathe to go back to see a GP to discuss it after last week. So I will try to sound the consultant out on the 8th, although as you say I doubt he will tell what I should do. I wish he would really so the decision isn`t mine.
I am building up courage to ring the union rep for advice before the meeting with HR. I didn`t find him very helpful last year, in fact I found him quite a prat! He said " oh it`s alright for you having a blue badge! I wish I didn`t need to walk so far on the car park" (him being an overweight guy who could probably do with the exercise!)
Thanks again for listening it does help me x
NB

hileena111

Oh NB
I'm so sorry......there is nothing more I can say {that the others haven't} Isnt it awful when you want to be told what you can and cant do but they wont say much
At least with a THR {first one, no problems} we know what we can and cant do...or more to the point what we CANT do
If your like me you have friends and family that shout if you go over the 90 degree angel
I'm a bit the same at the moment after fracturing mine....a physio that would have me wrapped in cotton wool and sticking to the 90 degree angle for the rest of my life and then a consultant who is the opposite.....do what you want to do but listen to your body...stop if it hurts or don't do it again. One that tells me to walk with one crutch and the other saying use 2 crutches :roll:
Sending {{{{{}}}}}
Love
Hileena

fortuna

As if you don't have enough to worry about now the money problems arise. Sincerely hope things will improve for you,
Fortuna

stickywicket

nearlybionic wrote:

My head says it is risky to try to do the things I need to do in my work role, but my heart says I love my job, my families, my career, my salary!!

In your situation I think I'd be assessing myself, as far as possible, working out the angles and weights etc then asking myself if, at the end of the day, the job was worth the risk to the THR. Are there occasions when you're liable to forget all about the shoulds and shouldn'ts and just do stuff without thinking? Or, with thinking but faced with no real alternative in the situation? How confident are you just at home, not work? You're nattered about convincing the people at work that you can do the job but how sure are you yourself? it's a real toughie.

nearlybionic

Hi Hileena
I have been told the same conflicting advice in the past, -arthroplasty nurse and Registrar said restrictions for life, Consultant said restriction lifted mainly except low seats and twisting. (all before dislocations) Now after 2nd dislocation was told no bending, which is really not totally doable in every day life never mind work! I don`t push things with my hips, especially as they are both THR`s , as I feel I haven`t got a strong one to rely on any more.
Hi Fortuna
thanks for your reply x
Hi Sticky,
At home I mostly feel confident, BUT I have had either Mr NB, or one of the teens around most of the time since my dislocation (teens had different easter hols and the younger one is still off til thursday!) which make3s me feel more confident. Also I have lots of aids in place at home to help me do every day stuff without risks. I have just bought wheeled laundry trolley from one of the companies that puts catalogues through the door, which saves me bending when pegging out washing or carrying heavy baskets of wet washing etc.. I have other stuff from OT too.
At work I have had access to work who sourced lots of helpful equipment, mainly for when I am in the office, and some to try to help when I am on visits. But the extra equipment will mean extra carrying , less space for working in the home. I enjoy my job, and because my mind is still in working order, unlike bits of my body! I still feel I could offer a lot to my families. I will talk to the surgeon and make a decision then. I spoke to the union man yesterday who said the up coming meeting will be a routine sickness review after 4 weeks being off, and he will come with me if I want him to.
Thanks for helping me talk things through
NB