Little Englanders

stickywicket

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS :

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax." :?

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish." :roll:

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair." :shock:

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

mike26

Brilliant sticky
u couldnt make this up if you wanted to.
mike26..

villier

Top marks Sticky, thanks for the much needed laugh xx

barbara12

Thanks SW I needed a laugh..and none of them were my complaints..but I'm disgusted the store didn't sell custard creams... :roll:

daffy2

I hope that No 19 is being actively disseminated to all those concerned with overpopulation....

Numptydumpty

You did not warn me that this would be so funny. I hold you fully responsible for the ensuing mess
Numpty

numptynora

I expect No. 7 had a *busy* holiday!

No's 12 and 13....doh!

stickywicket

Numptydumpty wrote:

You did not warn me that this would be so funny. I hold you fully responsible for the ensuing mess
Numpty

Numpty, I cannot and will not be held responsible for your pelvic floor muscles. Get a grip, woman

Boomer13

but---scary!

hileena111

Hi Sticky
I'm only reading this Thur morning....7.30am
I don't think I have laughed so much at this time of the morning for a long time

Hileena

dreamdaisy

Of fabulous! Sticky, those are little gems of Little Englanders, I wonder if any other nation reacts in such a way to being in foreign climes?

This reminds me of a letter sent to McVities by a disgruntled customer who noted that the top biscuit in every packet of digestives she had purchased was invariably broken, her solution was that this biscuit should not be included in the packaging.

One of my favourite headlines (from a local paper) was this: 'Thieves Escape when Police Ponced' :shock: The curse of the missing vowel strikes again! DD

Slosh

Love it!
I'm a teacher and was tutoring a pupil with dyslexia. I was asking her about reading and how she felt about it. She told me she wanted to be able to read difficult words and then said
" My Mum's got a book with lots of difficult words in. I think it's called Mr Gray's 50 shades."
I did manage to keep a straight face.

Numptydumpty

A straight face! I don't know how you managed that!

DebbieT

Pmsl DD ure student has cheered me right up. I may even consider re-reading my copies of the trilogy .... For brain exercise purposes only of course, you understand

Thank you SW ... I've read this a number of times in various places but I never skip it
We are such an embarrassing little nation at times :oops: :roll:


Xx xX

Slosh

Re keeping a straight face
It's a skill all teachers soon learn, absolutely essential.
There was also the occasion when a colleague asked me if I had been teaching a child to spell words ending with "ck". Apparently he had learnt the lesson very well and was now spelling a certain 4 letter word correctly.

DebbieT

My sincere apologies for crediting the wrong person :oops: Your story did make me chuckle

I think children are priceless gems of humour & at times, utter embarrassment
I have the pleasure of watching our eldest squirm wen our Grandson comes out with some corkers, she's getting a taste of her own medicine!!
On a school visit to the town's main Church she told the Vicar "I was in my Mums tummy when she married Dad so I was at the wedding really!!" I wouldn't have minded but she was 11 years old & knew better!! I wanted to disappear, everyone thought it was hilarious ... Except for me, at the time :oops:

Apologies again.

Xx xX