feeling sad

Options
nearlybionic
nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
edited 9. Jun 2014, 14:36 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi
I have been quiet on here recently as I have been so tired and exhausted with my return to work, and because I didn`t want to tempt fate and talk about this in the hope it would all go away. But it hasn`t. :( My Dad has just been diagnosed with cancer. I am feeling a bit numb. I am an only child so feel more alone now as I have no siblings to lean on. My hubby is great. My parent s divorced when I was small and his 2nd wife died a while ago. I haven`t told my children yet as they have exams and to be honest I am not ready to tell them yet.
Sorry to talk about this here as I know it isn`t really LWA stuff, but my emotional pain is not helping the physical stuff much either.
NB

Comments

  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    So sorry to read this NB ,share your feeling with us its part of what we are here for.Sending hugs. Mig
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    So sorry to hear this, NB. Many of us on here have had to deal with parents' illnesses. You don't say what type of cancer. Many are curable. Please don't leave it too long to tell your children as they will feel hurt if left out of the loop. You can all support each other.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I understand NB, I too am an only and when my Ma died last year that was it; I had amazing support from my husband and wonderful support from a cousin and a friend of Ma's but you do feel very alone. ((( ))) For what it's worth you have us on here, OK? I found the support from the forum very comforting, we're cyber strangers but there are strong roots of support on here for people facing variations of life's other difficulties. I am thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    NB, so very sorry to hear your sad news, I know that we can't help but we can listen and try to understand. Sending hugs ((((((( ))))))).

    I think maybe you will be amazed at how resilient your children will be when they find out, but it's probably wise to wait until exams are done as they already have enough to think about. I well remember when my husband had a heart attack 16 years ago just after my 40th birthday, I tried so hard to protect our teenage twins, but in the end they were there to share with me and often ended up encouraging me with their gentle understanding and compassion (happily that particular story had a happy ending). And again when my dad was so very ill and died 6 years ago, they were a tower of strength and sensitivity, we shared our sadness but also our sense of thankfulness that granddad was finally free of suffering, and our joy at having shared life with him.

    Sending love and understanding.
    Deb xx
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    So sorry to hear this. It must be so hard for you. All I can say is what others have said and that is that we are all here for you.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Sarah01
    Sarah01 Member Posts: 192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    So sorry to hear this NB

    Sending hugs to you and as people have already said, we are here for you.

    Take care
    Sarah x
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi
    Thank you all for your kind words. Today has been hard. It has hit me more today, and it has hit my Dad hard too. I told my work colleagues at he meeting, mainly because they had picked up that I wasn`t myself. And they will need to know as I will want some time off to go to appointments with him.
    Sticky- it is bladder cancer, and he is having a full body scan to check for anywhere else, before surgery and chemo. We don`t know how treatable/curable it will be until they do the scan or surgery and see if the tumours go deep into the muscle layers or hopefully just on the lining.
    I hate waiting and this is a long waiting game.
    NB
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Waiting is always the worst. Hope you don't have to wait too long.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • jeanniep
    jeanniep Member Posts: 42
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi NB,
    So sorry to hear your news, hope the prognosis is a good one for your dad. He has a strong and resilient daughter, so must be pretty strong himself, and I hope will fight off this disease.

    And don't think you shouldn't come on the forum and talk about it, as others have said you aren't alone, we're all rooting for you and sending you hugs and good thoughts. Worry and stress can make any pains more painful, so look after yourself as well as your dad!
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    nearlybionic wrote:
    Sticky- it is bladder cancer, and he is having a full body scan to check for anywhere else, before surgery and chemo. We don`t know how treatable/curable it will be until they do the scan or surgery and see if the tumours go deep into the muscle layers or hopefully just on the lining.
    I hate waiting and this is a long waiting game.
    NB

    Of course waiting is the hard bit. When I had breast cancer - about 20 years ago - I waited about 3 - 4 months from finding the lump and finally getting a mastectomy and chemo. But I'm still here to tell the tale :D

    I hope the scans will give cause for optimism.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,945
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hello Nearlybionic
    i'm so sorry we are all here to try to help you i think everyone on here as known some one with some kind of cancer.
    ((((((((Nearlybionic))))))))
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh ((((NB)))) I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. Waiting and the unknown is usually the scariest part. Hopefully, once you have a plan, you can focus on that and on coping with the next steps. I think it's quite common that stress and sadness has an impact on your physical health. The mind and body connection is much closer than we realise, so make sure you take time for yourself and to look after you. We are here to listen, please use us for a friendly ear and a virtual shoulder to cry one. Just take one day at a time. xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    NB what a rotten things to be going through, I really do hope the scan shows it hasn't spread..then they can start treatment..you know were I am if you want to PM me...I will be thinking about you...(((())) xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Sorry have just seen this, NB I am so sorry to hear your news, you know we are all here for you. I can't really add much more than the others have, keep talking and we will keep listening (((()))).................Marie xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi
    Thank you again for your replies. We had a good visit to the Uni in Bath on Saturday and it took my mind off things for the day. I saw my Dad yesterday, and we talked a few things through, and are just waiting for the scan date now. He is scared of the scan, scared of the surgery - all understandable.
    I went to work today, and it was really busy and hectic, not helped by things hitting me hard and me crying for the first time since I found out. I have just been going between angry and numb until now.I have a lot of pain now after work and have just swallowed about 6 various pills and am waiting for them to kick in. I have another busy day at work tomorrow before a day off.
    Thanks all my virtual AC friends x
    NB
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hm, difficult to tell whether a busy day at work will help or hinder. help mentally and hinder physically would be my bet.

    Is your Dad unused to hospitals, NB? I know when mine had a stroke, aged 80+, it was the first time he'd ever been in one. It must be tough. How old is your Dad?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you NB at least you have got the next one off and you don't need to face anyone. Lets hope the meds are kicking in now and are getting some relief............Marie xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi Sticky,
    He had a heart attack about 10 years ago, and had a minor op once , but not really had a lot of hospital experience. He is 67.
    The meds haven`t really helped at all :( I have to go out to pick my daughter up from her dance class at 8.30 then I am off to bed. I have such a rock and roll lifestyle! :roll:
    NB
Back to top

Categories