Meeting at work tomorrow. Feeling anxious

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Slosh
Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
edited 20. Jun 2014, 04:19 in Living with Arthritis archive
I am an Inclusion Manager in a school which has recently become a primary and I am based in the Juniors. I have been on sick leave since January and officially return to work in September on reduced hours for the first month. My head and deputy are both very supportive and I am waiting for a third Occupational health review so that I can make sure that any adaptations I need are in place before that e.g. desk, risk assessment etc.
Due my absence another member of staff has been given a temporary contract to the end of term to cover me.
As part of the almagamation process a consultant is coming in to school to mert with staff and the head agreed that I could come in for a meeting. So far, so good...
My problem is with the others ( the head will not be in the meeting) ,Rachel who has been covering me and Jo who does the same job as me in the infants.
Rachel has been giving staff the impression that I am not returning and that she will still be in post in September (the head is clear she is only doing the job until the end of term) saying things like "In September we will..." and generally giving the impression that I am out of the picture.
Jo, is less experienced and who I have given a lot of support to over the past couple of years both professional and emotional. I last spoke to her on a previous visit to school in May. I filled her in on how things were going and she said "So you won't be back then" very quickly. I was upset, although I didn't say anything as she should be well aware of my rights under the DDA as this is part of our role.
I am just getting nervous about tomorrow and can't help but have the feeling they will be busy planning things together and worry about what they might say or imply about my ability to return to work. I have already been told I can't exoect to go back to the 9 1/2 hour days I used to work. The worst thing is I will have to work in a shared office with Jo and our jobs will overlap.
Hope I'm wrong about this but just have a bad feeling.
Sorry to ramble on.
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    This is a common problem, Slosh. When one person is off for an extended period of sick leave (which may be further extended) then those who are left to cover the gap will become proprietorial over their new roles, seeing as how they are there doing the work. It's human nature. Factor in the 'minor' detail that they are healthy to boot then it's doubly difficult for all concerned.

    Stand your ground, be polite but firmly state the fact (whenever you can) that you will be returning in the Autumn term. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,731
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You are, as we say in these parts, nattered and you have due cause. That doesn't mean to say that all will be as you fear. It means there are a lot of variables and, having been away, you feel more of an outsider than those in situ.

    I hope there are no 'plots' against you but you must stand your ground and be firm. That is very easy for me to say and very hard for you to do.

    Pocket duties are available. They wouldn't dare mess with the AC Army :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am more than happy to jump in you pocket Slosh, I can see how you are nervous you have been away for a good few months now and of course it will make your mind work overtime when someone is temporarily filling your shoes. As DD and SW said try and stand firm, I am sure you have nothing to worry about I will keep my fingers crossed for a positive outcome.............Marie x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Slosh I will be in your pocket and really do hope the meeting goes well..good luck..it must be such a worry for you..x
    Love
    Barbara
  • Sarah01
    Sarah01 Member Posts: 192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Slosh,

    I will be in your pocket too :)

    I totally sympathise with you. I'm now week 5 since my return to work and I have lost pretty much all the duties I did before my operation. They were passed to someone else to do in my absence and I have been told that 'said' person will carry on doing them. I had thought of standing my ground but my manager is too busy to talk to me and to be honest I doubt I will get anywhere with it. It's a strange office I work in.

    So, I'm plodding along at the moment until the knee is sorted then I will start looking for something else.

    I know it is worrying for you, but as SW said, stand your ground and be firm. Good luck for tomorrow, I hope all goes well and I will be thinking of you :)

    Let us know how you get on.

    Take care
    Sarah x
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all so much. Just posting this made me feel better.
    I've been taking it easy today and plan to go in in "professional mode", complete with war paint and wearing something I feel confident in.
    If they do start coming out with anything pre-pepared I will just say that I think that is unfair on me not to have made any attempt to share it with me in advance as they could easily have emailed me.
    I'm probably just over thinking things but I was never the most confident of people and dealing with this and an operation that has not sorted things as I hoped hasn't helped.
    Sure it will go well.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • As5567
    As5567 Member Posts: 665
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I just wanted to say good luck with the meeting, I'm sure everything will go fine. And if it doesn't then just stand your ground, please don't forget your rights and be pushed about.
  • DebbieT
    DebbieT Member Posts: 1,033
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning,

    I just wanted to wish you good things for ure meeting today.

    I hope everything goes well. Like you I lack in confidence an awful lot & being unwell makes its even worse, for me anyway!! I think ure right to go in with ure professional air & look ... It's a mask n costume but we live our lives in them don't we? :wink:

    Do try to assume the best from ure colleagues but be prepared 'just in case' they try to stab you in the back.

    **I have to say & I've no idea why .... I feel it's the other lady, not the one uve mentored, that is the instigator in this. I think she's been whispering evils in the more impressionable ones ears since she stepped up to work with her & it's to benefit herself nothing to do with loyalty, she's worried for own job not ures or ure young friends!!!** Sorry, no idea where that came from :shock:

    Stay strong & entitled :wink:

    (((Hugs)))

    Xxx xxX
    Healing Hugs
    Debbie.x
  • Megrose489
    Megrose489 Member Posts: 779
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hope it all goes well for you today.

    Meg
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am thinking of you. ((( ))) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Only just read this,good luck for today will be in your pocket. Mig
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning all.
    Debbie T, I have to say I agree with you, my experience of working with my KS1 colleague when we started to look at developing ways we could work together was that she did not see it as an opportunity to develop her knowledge but was happy to stick with what she felt safe with and very keen to push some things my way. I made sure that for everything I took over from her, I passed something else back.
    I know that the person covering me has been giving a very clear impression that she is taking over from me and that there have been a few "interesting" conversations with my very loyal TA team! She was probably hoping for this, if nothing else because she has had quite a significant increase in pay and status while covering for me.

    I will report back later, I am choosing what I wear to coordinate with my favourite walking stick....now that MUST be a sign of acceptance!

    Thank you all, will pack you all into the pockets of my bag.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Well that was interesting. I got to school about 10 minutes early and went up to the Inclusion Office as I thought it would be best if we all went in together, but there was no one there. I went back down and was told that the infants Inclusion Manager was off sick amd that Rachel was in a meeting.
    I went to the room where the meetings were being held and the consultant invited me in, I explained who I was and that I was on sick leave but due back in September. There was no sign of Rachel,so he said he would start. While we were talking I think I saw Rachel walk past and look in but then before I could do anything she had gone. I had a good meeting, and he seemed to like what I was saying and my ideas about the way forward, but I was careful to say I had not had the chance to discuss them with my infants colleague.
    When I came out I noticed that the head had not added my name to the meeting.

    I saw a teacher I get on well with, who said she had heard a "rumour" that I was comingback in September and was it true? When I said yes she replied "good, we need you".
    I also went into the office to pick up my payslips and the office manager reminded me that my sick note runs out at the end of the month. I said I would be getting my last one and would be back at the end of term. She was delighted and said that everyone would be pleased as my cover was rubbing everyone up the wrong way!

    So all very positive for me and even better was to get home and find I have my Occupational health appointment on Friday afternoon which means I can discuss what I might need to help me on my return.

    Thanks again for your support.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,731
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :D:D:D Didn't I tell you we'd frighten them off, Slosh :lol: Well done and congratulations on braving it out.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    1 - 0 to Slosh! Well done girl, that sounds like a good meeting and I am pleased for you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you both. I felt much happier as it meant I was able to get my thoughts across without feeling under stress.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Megrose489
    Megrose489 Member Posts: 779
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Pleased that it was all so positive.

    Meg
  • DebbieT
    DebbieT Member Posts: 1,033
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sorry I haven't returned until now hun, I've been having a really hard time!!

    That's a great result :D
    I wonder if they thought the meeting would be cancelled without 'essential personnel' ... Namely them? Well that was clearly a big fat NO coz you were the person that was needed!! :wink: I'm so pleased for you.

    ((((Hugs))))

    Xxx xxX
    Healing Hugs
    Debbie.x
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    No need to apologise Debbie, sorry to hear you have been rough and hoping that you're starting to feel a bit better now.
    I'm going into school this afternoon for a staff BBQ, coincidentally after an Occupational health review to plan for my return in September so I wonder if the head will mention it. The other teacher is unlikely to be there as she doesn't work Fridays.
    The best bit was hearing how much I'm missed and that people want me back. Always good and especially when dealing with OA and it's effects as well which does drag me down a bit sometimes.
    Hope you are able to enjoy the weekend
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Glad it went really well slosh a big weight off your mind, good luck with your OH appointment.................go girl.....................Marie x
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles