How to deal with intimidating behaviour of a Senior Manager

jaty62
jaty62 Member Posts: 3
edited 13. Jul 2014, 14:03 in Benefits and Working Matters archive
I have OA of spine, hypermobility and a gluteus medius injury, after sitting for a while I am stiff until my legs get going. A senior manager who sits opposite stares at my legs as i get up and walk past them nearly every time i get up. It has been going on for months,it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I dont want to go into work each day. Can anyone offer an explanation as to why they do this, and any tips on how to deal with it. A colleague has pointed out this boss has her eye on me very noticeably most of the time, she also goes behind my back and relays conversations i have in the office to my direct boss who is not co-located with me

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello jaty62 and welcome to the forum. It is always difficult to acknowledge ones own limitations, even the physical ones for which one is in no way responsible. Having them constantly monitored, as you are, must be wearying and annoying in the extreme.

    I've had over 50 years of arthritis and, in that time, I've gone from being very reticent to totally upfront. I am disabled. I'm not ashamed of it. I don't care.

    This being a work situation and she being your superior makes your situation awkward. However, whatever her motives, she is being unpardonably rude and will continue as long as permitted. You could challenge her very gently “ I'm sorry, I know I'm slow to get moving but that's what arthritis does. I hope you never have to find out.” or “ (Whatever her name is), do I have something stuck to my skirt / trousers? I've noticed you staring at them.” Or, make a joke of it “It's old age. I got there early.”

    I've no idea why she does it. There's a lot of bad, ignorant behaviour out there. Why waste energy on trying to second guess such people? If you are doing your job correctly you have nothing to fear. Don't be intimidated by her or anyone else.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I second Sticky on every single wise word she has written. I would also suggest using a walking aid to help you get going, a physical manifestation of a stick may help 'convince' this rude person that yes, there is something amiss. I am reliant on either crutches or a rollator for getting around and that shows people that I am dealing with mobility issues. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • jaty62
    jaty62 Member Posts: 3
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thankyou both for your good advice and taking the time to post a reply back to me
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    For what it's worth I agree whole heartedly with both Sticky and DD.

    Use a stick - that is very visible to everyone - not just this person.

    I wonder if you are in a Union? If so you may appreciate having a word with them? Also, do you have an Occupational Health section? If so, perhaps it's worth investigating how you could get to see someone from Occy Health. They'll be able to support you possibly with reasonable adjustments.

    Good luck with this. Don't let this person get you down too much.

    Take care,
    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • krisbe
    krisbe Member Posts: 95
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    perhaps she's admiring your legs. a bit un-nerving.

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