The Dangers of Childhood

Numptydumpty
Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,415
edited 28. Jul 2014, 10:10 in Community Chit-chat archive
I've been wondering how I ever survived my childhood, it was so fraught with danger!
Picking dandelions would make me wet the bed!

Picking birds eyes, (those little blue flowers with a white centre, I think a type of speedwell) would cause the birds to fly down and peck my eyes out!

Almost anything I touched or picked up was likely to take my eye out!

Going outside with wet hair would almost certainly cause me to get pneumonia! ( actually I did get pneumonia as a child, but don't think I'd been outside with wet hair :? )

If I accidentally swallowed chewing gum, it would stick in my stomach indefinitely and give me appendicitis !

If I pulled a face and the wind changed I'd stay like it! (I think that one actually happened to me :oops: )

Any time I saw an ambulance, I had to remember to hold my collar or the next one would be coming for me!

If I didn't blow out all the candles on my birthday cake with one puff my wish wouldn't come true!

No matter how careful you are, some things it seems, can't be avoided. I never once made my knuckles crack, and I've still got arthritis! Just my luck!
Numpty

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol:

    If you picked your nose your finger would get stuck there forever.

    Whoever ate the most Yorkshire pudding would get the most meat. (A canny ploy to fill everyone up before the main course.)
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Eating carrots would help you see in the dark
    Eating crusts would make your hair curly
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Having my mouth washed out with soap!

    Buying strawberry laces which were long enough to use as a skipping rope before eating them.

    My school sandwiches which as my mum would only buy bread once a week had holes cut in them by the end of the week where the bread had gone mouldy.

    On a more serious note my school friend and I once ignored warnings from our parents not to use an alley as a shortcut on our way to school. We of course ignored this until the day we got chased after by a man. We were terrified but didn't dare tell our parents as we were even more scared of getting into trouble for disobeying them!
  • Kitty
    Kitty Member Posts: 3,556
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I was told if I picked my nose, my head would cave in. :shock: And once when I bent over my mum's friend said "Oh Kathleen, your legs go right up to your bum" Where else would they go?
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Don't mess with swans cos they could break your arm :shock:

    he who smelt it, dealt it :o
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    tjt6768 wrote:
    Don't mess with swans cos they could break your arm :shock:

    But they can. http://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-24008,00.html
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Lol.
    Did you read all of them? :lol:
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Don't eat pips because you will grow an apple / cherry/ grape / melon plant in your tummy. I'm still trying. :wink:

    I clearly remember this one: 'Your body changes every seven years so you will be free of asthma very soon.' I wasn't. Mum lied.

    Thanks to my parents 'Mother' Nature screwed me over but she got one thing right - I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Mind you, I would have enjoyed using this line: 'Mr Softee is playing that tune because he's run out of ice cream.' Now that would have been fun. :wink: DD
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Eating your carrots to give you good eyesight was a good one in our house, my sister was as blind as a bat, also eat up your greens to make you big healthy and strong being only five foot one and the rest is history :P xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol:

    Thanks guys I enjoyed this lot.

    DD I really did use the ice cream van one MAY times on my lot ;)

    Love
    Toni xx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If we walked over a smelly drain (and there were quite a lot that were in the '50s, my Mum would always insist I held my breath then spat out afterwards. These were the only occasions she ever spat. Yet we all happily paddled in seawater with sewage outlets nearby :shock:
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,235
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I love this..but all mine have been said.. :D like you say how on earth did we survive :lol:
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    barbara12 wrote:
    how on earth did we survive :lol:

    History is written by the survivors, Barbara :lol:
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If we stood on the cracks in the pavement we'd fall down into a massively deep hole never to be seen again!

    Hopscotch - you didn't dare put the wrong leg down at the wrong time or some horrible (always unspeakable) fate would come your way.
    Chaps - this will mean absolutely nothing to you.
    Ladies - you'll all be smiling and nodding.

    If we didn't clean our teeth they'd fall out. I didn't and some of mine have gone; the majority of what's left are either filled, or crowned.

    GraceB
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh - just remembered horrifying situations.

    We used to go and use the local playing field to play on - out of sight of parents. Kids now play right outside their houses.

    And, we'd go off on our bikes for hours on end with just a bottle of squash and a marmite sarnie. My parents had no idea where I was for about 5 hours at a time during the school summer holidays.

    GraceB
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Drinking water makes lions strong and therefore I should drink it too. Not sure if the same applies to eating an entire raw zebra
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If you stood on the cracks between the paving stones the bears would get you!

    My daughter's childminder every December told her that
    a: everytime they saw a robin it was checking on which children had been good or naughty for Father Christmas
    b: if you saw a helicopter overhead Father Christmas was in it.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Drinking water makes lions strong and therefore I should drink it too. Not sure if the same applies to eating an entire raw zebra

    It could be a cure for arthritis :wink: I guess we'll never know.
  • DianeB
    DianeB Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Enjoyed reading all the sayings from childhood my Nan's favourite was when she wanted us to go outside in the drizzle and see what grandad was doing in the shed, and we moaned, said "you're neither sugar or salt you won't dissolve" 
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    DianeB wrote:
    Enjoyed reading all the sayings from childhood my Nan's favourite was when she wanted us to go outside in the drizzle and see what grandad was doing in the shed, and we moaned, said "you're neither sugar or salt you won't dissolve" 

    Oh come on, Diane. You can't leave us all wondering. Why did she want to know what he was doing in the shed :o Was it just a ploy to get rid of you all :lol:
  • DianeB
    DianeB Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Most of the time Stickywicket it was to get us out of the kitchen, because something was due to come out of the oven. I enjoyed making the rusty nails water for putting around the hydrangea, can't remember which colour flowers it gave either blue or pink as he had one of each.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,622
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol: I can't think which way rusty nail water would turn hydrangeas. I remember copper is for blue, but iron :? No idea. I got slung out of science classes at a very early age :wink:

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