yet another sleepless night

bridesmum

It's now after 3am and still awake :x it has been like this for the last 5 or 6 nights. Pain in knee and then back, shoulders and neck join the party. It's made worse by worrying and fretting about our possible house move. We've accepted an offer on our house 15k under the asking price and had our offer on another bungalow accepted, luckily we got 10k off that one otherwise we couldn't afford to move. One of the things worrying me is that we are moving from a house with a dining area which can just about seat 14 and a dining kitchen which can seat 6 to a bungalow with no dining room and a kitchen which will probably fit 4 people possibly 6 at a real push. I love to have the whole family round for sunday lunch and won't be able to in the new house. That said over the last year I am finding it harder and harder to cook and cope with having so many at one time. We will be much nearer the family though so they will be able to come round for an hour or two rather than calling round less often and staying for 4 or 5 hours and using up a big chunk of their weekend.
Also dreading the packing, we've only been here for 4 years having moved from Cyprus because of my homesickness, but I can't believe how much stuff we have accrued we're going to have to be ruthless because the house is smaller and there's no garage for me to fill up with stuff. Lying here worrying about what to do with the huge china dinner service (about 100 pieces) which hasn't been used for about 15 years because it isn't dishwasher safe! At the moment it's displayed in our dresser in our big kitchen, there's no way it'll fit anywhere but the loft in the new house I can't face getting rid of it though, we bought it almost 30 years ago with some money Mr bm was left by his favourite auntie. Just had a cup of tea and it's now almost 4am and I can't see me getting to sleep anytime soon...i'll be fit for nothing tomorrow. Just had another thought, we go on holiday in 5 weeks...do we move before or after :?

Slosh

I think any one of the things you mention would be enough to keep you awake at night without have Arthur added into the mix!
You mention the dinner service, is there anyone in your family that might like it? When my parents knew they would have to move into sheltered accommodation they started to give away some of the things they had collected, glassware, pottery etc, they chose carefully who to give things to and said they wanted the pleasure of giving things to people while they were alive rather than waiting until they were dead.
I don't know how practical this would be for you but when I am unable to sleep because of things going round in my mind I find it helps to have a notebook handy by my bed to note things down in as then I can let them go, I haven't tried it but using a the voice recorder function if you have a smart phone might help.

Sorting things out and getting rid of them, families, charities etc can also be quite cathartic. I assume if you are moving somewhere smaller you will be doing some of that, have you heard of freegle? It's an online group where people advertise things they are willing to give away.

Holiday, pack and label up boxes to say what goes where, then go away whike your family unpack for you and ensure when you return they have filled the fridge for you.

And just rest as and when you can, and ask for help with the packing... then you can sit there amidst the sea of boxes and paper and direct operations!

Take care and hope all goes well.

dreamdaisy

We moved before just before Christmas (after seventeen years in the house) and I had to do a massive de-clutter, not because we were downsizing but because there was just too much stuff for me to pack. My late father reckoned that rubbish expands to fit the available space and I proved that. I also employed professional removers because I knew I wouldn't be able to do what I had done with ease seventeen years earlier.

This is a positive move for you, we went from a three-storeyed mid-terrace with horrendous stairs plus one ground floor bathroom to a chalet bungalow that has two ground floor bedrooms which are both en-suite , plus the usual kitchen and lounge-diner. There are two more bedrooms plus shower room upstairs but I don't have to go there. The physical quality of life improved within twenty four hours of the move, it's also easier and quicker to clean. You can still entertain the family - hire a room in a restaurant - that way lies no food prep., cooking or washing up to contend with. Moving is always a stressful time but the benefits should be the positive beacon - they were for me. DD

stickywicket

It sounds as if pain and worry are combining to deprive you of sleep and magnify each other. You have some good advice on moving from the other two. I'd just add that although it might not seem like it right now, entertaining 14 at a time will probably soon seem like nightmare territory. Let your children do the large group entertaining from now on, downsize and enjoy the freedom from clutter that it brings. We can become trapped by possessions. How much is really needed? Make a note of essentials then see what else can or can't be accommodated.

LignumVitae

I live in a tiddly tiny house. So here are my two ideas which may or may not help you...
Entertaining large numbers - we do it buffet style and everybody knows it is a small space so sit cheek by jowl on whatever is available (in winter there is normally a scramble to sit by the fire on the rug, nobody cares that they are sitting on the floor). With a bit of imagination you can make it fun and DIY serving makes dealing with different requirements much easier than trying to produce one meal to suit all - Mr LV being an aussie means there are lots of BBQs too, all year around.
As for treasured possessions - you just have to be creative - I have my Gran's pewter tea service hanging off hooks on the shower rail - odd but the curiosity value it creates in the bathroom is fun. I have my favourite moustache tea cup on the bathroom window sill, nestled in with plants and shells. You can use your treasures and rooms to create character and fun. I also have a coffee set that is spread through different rooms - like a treasure trail.

You've done the hardest bit - you've bought and sold houses, the rest is the detail and you know what they say, don't sweat the small stuff. I'm with Sticky here, pain and problems combine to magnify each other - you will look back on this in a few months and wonder why you bothered caring about it. I hope you feel ok today.

Sharon2960

We downsized 2 years ago, after 30 years in the same house; Packing and decluttering was strangely liberating; living in a much smaller house is so much easier - less maintenance and cleaning!

People who visit us know they're going to eat in the dining kitchen (we can seat 7 of us plus the high chair, albeit quite snuggly!); anyone who is offended by that isn't really wanted at our table anyway!

Friends of ours did much the same; they have a larger family, with more grandchildren than us - their solution in terms of catering for everyone was to buy a sizeable garden marquee, which is adorned with lighting, bunting, and plants - they all seem to get on with that set up quite well. They also built a summer house in the garden and put a dining table and seating; they had it carpeted and have an electric radiator in there for year round use!

Good luck with the move, enjoy your holiday (and there are benefits to taking it both before or after the move!). We holidayed a week after moving in!

Try not to have too many sleepless nights - the list idea is brilliant!

bridesmum

Thanks so much for all your replies, hints and tips. I think everything is just getting on top of me, if you've read my posts on "worrrying about my mum" you can probably see why we moved abroad several years ago after living in our family home for 22 years, that was difficult physically and emotionally so this move should be a breeze I am struggling to cope when the whole family descends for a roast sunday lunch so the lack of space will probably be a godsend. Buffets it will be from now on
Slosh, brilliant idea about the notebook, will definitely try it.

barbara12

moving is a very stressful time, but things do come together, maybe not being able to fit so many people in your house, is life's way of saying they can not cook for you, but like LV say buffet style is so much fun...I do think the treasures you are collected will be harder to deal with ,hopefully there is a garage to store them in while you have a think..good luck with the moving and I hope you will be very happy in your new home..x