All alone :(

Shantelx

Today I lost all of my group of girl friends who I thought were my best friends!! I had to cancel going to Nottingham for one of the girls birthdays as I've been unable to walk for the past week I had a steriod injection Friday which still hasn't kicked in ....I rang the hotel to see if I could get a refund as it was due to being ill I don't earn a lot of money so if I can try get a refund I was going to unfortunately because there was another girl in my room with me I couldn't cancel so I let it be. Then I had a indirect fb status calling me selfish, which then I said something to the girls explaining I wasn't going to cancel I was simply seeing if I could get my money back instead of understanding they told me I shouldn't be able to book anything because of my illness I know this may sound childish and silly to many I'm 24 and never has anyone said such hurtful things to me I was used to this kind of attitude as a child but not at 24 am I over reacting or are these girls not friends!? I can't stop crying about it I feel so down and the fact my arthitis is active isn't helping thanks I just needed a rant sorry about the essay!!

Scotican

This is just going to be my opinion, so take it for what its worth.. I think your "friends" sound just a bit self absorbed and selfish.
If they can't understand that as much as you would of like to of gone on the holiday you can't,due to a health issue then they'd not be the kind of people i'd want as my friends.

True friends are there for you no matter what is going on in your life, the good, the bad, the ugly.
At 24 and being one of the first times you are having to deal with this kind of attitude from supposed friends is really lousy. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the kind of attitude.
Of course you will feel down as you weren't expecting that kind of reaction from your "friends"

Feel free to rant away !! That's what we are here for. x
These kind of issues bother us whether one is 24 as you are or 30 or 50 or 60. It's one of those not fun part of life, to find out who your friends really are. xx

applerose

Hi Shantelx. I don't normally come in to the Young People's Forum but noticed your post. It is difficult for people not living with arthritis to understand as often we don't look as if there's anything wrong with us. Having said that, these girls are supposed to be your friends and should at least try to understand and believe you when you say you're not up to going with them. Please don't feel alone. You have a lot of friends on here, all going through similar things to you. Maybe you could show your friends the Spoon Theory or the Gorilla Theory. It might help them to understand what living with arthritis is like.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

http://batsgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2008/04/gorilla-in-your-house.html

Hope you are feeling more positive this morning.

charleeh

Hi Shantelx,

I am the same age as you and have arthritis too, its really hard for even the closest people in your life to understand our condition. I don't really think that anyone can understand what it is like unless they have been debilitated for a prolonged period of time.

The most important thing to remember is to look after yourself and try not to be upset, I find that stress and worry add to my flare ups.

For what its worth, I count my friends on one hand, they have always come through for me and been understanding to my condition - and these are all a bit older than me late 20's early 30's and are people I have met in my adult life along they way. I don't speak to a single person I went to school with as I just can't understand 'their world'. I guess for me having this condition made me look at life a different way and want more deeper friendships and people who are really on my brain wave if you know what I mean. (I am a bit of a hippie in truth )

I do hope you feel better soon.

Best wishes,
Charleeh x

Shantelx

Thank you so much!! I think that's what I need to do focus on my health and continue to make new friendships with possibly older mature people, nice to be able to come on here and have people to talk to as you said no one really understands unless they have it!

Thanks ladies you've put a smile on my face
Xx

hileena111

Hi Shantelx
I'm not usually on this forum.....not being one of the younger ones
Your friends will stick by you and those that don't ....well they aren't friends and there will be plenty more people waiting to be friends with you. True friends
Family is a different matter......you cant do much about that....my husbands family....sisters/brothers/partners/children etc are my pain. We rarely see them although they don't live far away but when we do see them.....I cant wait for the day to be over. We went for a "family day out" a couple of weeks ago....I didn't want to hurt my husband by not going. I have a fracture in my hip as well as arthritis etc and am on crutches at the minute.....Everyone was sitting on the ground....not a chance of me getting down there at the minute That was OK...I had stuck a chair in the car. Then the brothers / sisters went off with the younger ones to a stream and I was on my own, same with the playground etc...OK I might not have got down to the river but no one even said do you want to come? Enough about me.....I don't see much of them and I have a few good friends which is all I need as along as I know they are true friends and loads of casual friends that understand.
So you just think about making more friends and hanging on to the good ones you have and forgetting the others....sorry that sounds like a lecture...not meant to be
Take care pet
Love
Hileena