second week back at work, making progress

Slosh

Well I have done my second week and increased my hours by an extra 30 minutes a day. I am learning to manage myself e.g.getting better at taking rest breaks. It helps having the need for this in writing as I feel able to refer to it if I need to e.g. when asked to meet over lunchtime and I am learning to say sorry but I can't meet then, explain why and that the danger is that if I do too much I will end up being off again.
My head and deputy are both incredibly supportive which makes a huge difference, the deputy is helping me to identify key areas to focus on and emailed all staff about this and the need to be patient while I catch up and build up my hours and when I apologise, or try to about my limitations just says "it's not your fault and it's good to have you back."
I had a good meeting with the head, I said I was able to get in for 8.30 but would really struggle to get in earlier at between 7.15 and 7.30 as I used to, he just said "That was then, this is now and things are different now. You don't need to be in earlier. " He also checked that I would be taking a break over lunchtime once I start doing a bit longer in the afternoon. Anyway next week adding in another three hours over the week so hopefully that will go well.
The downers were having to use an amplification device for the first time when doing some staff training, and just how work tires me and triggers the pain.
I finish my oxycodone today so it's fingers crossed I can manage on the meptazinol but I have booked a GP appointment just in case.
Lovely ending to the week when a group of year 6 girls asked me to sit with them at lunchtime today.
Still getting a bit tearful/frustrated/angry at times with it all, and feel shattered now and ready for a good rest tomorrow. Sometimes keeping a smile on my face is hard and feeling it taking a toll on my body as the week goes on, I get slower and the pins and needles etc start getting worse and causing more difficulties. Ho hum!

stickywicket

Well done, Slosh I think you're being very wise in laying down some essential 'ground rules' such as no lunchtime meetings. It will be far easier to stick to that if you make no exceptions. I expect pressure will be put on you at various times but eventually people will realise you're no more available at lunch times than if you were out of school. You need this in order to function properly – or, as 'properly' as we can

You're aiming for long term success so no point in going for short term gain as, right now at least, they're counterproductive. Keep on exactly as you are. And I hope to hear more good news next week

barbara12

Well done slosh you are getting there..it cant be easy but you have learned to rest and I am so glad you have such good managers..wishing you well with it..x

Slosh

Thank you both. I am lucky in my managers, we are a school whichhas a very good reputation in the borough for our work on Inclusion with puoils with SEN and disabilities so I think I am benefitting from that, I was also someone who prior to this took very little time of sick, and kept going as long as I could post diagnosis so they both know I am not someone who takes time off for the sake of it. The idea of a "proper break" during the day will take some getting used to as I never took one, lunch is in the dining hall with pupils and after that I used to go straight back to work! They also both know that I do tend to push myself and set myself high standards in terms of work which was why I used to get in so early, and by saying what he did the head removed one of the pressures I was putting on myself.

In one way, while I don't want to play the disability card, having the need for breaks written up in my access to work assessment, and from that in my risk assessment does mean if anyone challenges this I do have proof.

I hope you noticed I have learnt from the comments of last week and didn't say "pathetically proud" this time.

dreamdaisy

For what it's worth I too think you are being both realistic, sensible and wise; what is even better is that you appear to be on the receiving end of some very proper and worthwhile support from your head etc. He is quite right when he says 'That was then and this is now.' OK, things are different and for unhappy reasons but think back to this time last year and I hope you can see the progress you have made and are making. DD

Boomer13

Good for you Slosh, that sounds very positive. It's great you have such terrific managers and a positive attitude. I wish you continued success, you are doing great! I'm inspired by you!

Slosh

The attitude isn't always this positive by any means! There have been plenty of tearscat home this week and a fair bit of frustration!

All the support and encouragement really helps, I just feel lucky that I can still do the job I love, albeit with a few modifications/adaptations. And I did have a bit of a strop today with one member of staff who informed me she was too busy to run up and down stairs to pass on a message for me. I was tempted to say it was a **** site easier for her than for me but I kept my cool as it wasn't worth it. I am getting a bit fed up though with one of the people I share my office with. She has torn a tendon in her foot and has a boot on. She was complaining today that because she had to park in the overflow car park she had nearly slipped and if she fell wouldn't be able to get up. I offered to bring in a walking stick for her to borrow and she had crutches at home but didn't like using them. It was on the tip of my tongue to say she was lucky to have the choice! Bit my tongue though as it just wasn't worth it.

Starburst

You are doing so well. I mean that in a very genuine way. You are being realistic and managing so well. There are ups and downs but you are riding the rollercoaster and coming off with a smile which is what counts.

Bet you appreciate the weekends so much more!

Slosh

Tomorrow is rest day and Sunday I have my latest MRI. But yes, once I hit Friday I focus on getting through it knowing I can just flop as much as needed on Saturday.

stickywicket

Frustration inhabits the gap between expectation and capability. Despite years of evidence to the contrary, I still feel I should be able to fasten my blouse buttons quickly. Even with the button aid I can't and the quicker I attempt to do it the longer it takes. Festina lente (Hasten slowly) as my old Latin teacher would have advised :roll:

You are, indeed, lucky to be able to still do the job you love with an understanding head. But the school, too, is lucky to have someone so dedicated to their job and I recking they know it. Well...most do. There's always the odd one

As for your 'torn tendon colleague', I hope she wasn't inferring that she should have your parking place. However, if not, I guess many of us go through a phase where we try to do without the aids and adaptions that make us stand out as different – though the boot would be a bit of a giveaway

Slosh

She is a bit put out that I have a reserved space. I have already, gently, pointed out to her that her problem is temporary! I think part of the problem is that she is one of those people who "enjoys ill health" and the attention it gets her and seems to see me as competition!
I'm just waiting the start of the flu season as I have a feeling that she will have the jab and then be off because it's given her the flu.

Thanks for the compliments as well, the Educational Psychologist yesterday did say she was glad I was back.

stickywicket

Slosh wrote:

I think part of the problem is that she is one of those people who "enjoys ill health" and the attention it gets her and seems to see me as competition!

Why is it that those who 'enjoy ill-health' are disgustingly healthy whereas those of us who are battling disease just want to carry on as normal? Everyone would be much happier the other way round