A non-whinge

LignumVitae

I have been using this forum lots to deal with my problems this summer. I know that is partly what it is for and that the support I get here is unrivalled because it comes with a fat dose of understanding but maybe sometimes saying something positive is a good medicine too!

I'm sore, I'm very tired and I am awaiting news or something about anti-TNFs, it seems the consultant saying yes was just the start of yet another long wait but then, I'm lucky, arthritis has taught me patience when it wasn't one of the vitues I was born with.

So, a non-whinge. I'm lucky because...
- I live in a country where my medication, although difficult to access because of funding constraints, has an equitable to all arthritis sufferers regardless of income, medical insurance or all those other things. I'm also lucky because today I am able to feel arthritis pain and not fear war or ebola and poor sanitation or health care.
- I have a wonderful medical team who have listened to me and helped me and supported me even when I haven't always understood what they are doing. I can call them up and they ring me back very quickly (usually) and I might find my consultant intimidating but that's partly because she is so very good at what she does that she can read my joints in a way I can't.
- I have a family who care and put up with my less than perfect self. I think my girls have taught me so much because they don't see my sore and grumpy self, they see Mummy and as long as I'm doling out the paint and paper, reading the stories and building the lego whilst slipping the necessary hot chocolates, cheese and olives into the mix at just the right moment they couldn't give two hoots that my fingers are quite ugly or I'm slower than normal pushing the pram on a cold day.
- I have a husband that loves and values me and gives me the freedom and space I need to be me. That wasn't always the case, LV used to live with a mad man who still occasionally turns up for a quick stalking session but who is scared enough of the big teddy bear of a husband to be not a worry to her.
- On the days my body doesn't work I have two beautiful dogs and an elegant but grumpy cat who show me the amazing wonder of athletic and powerful movement and bodies (and provide warm snuggles when the tears flow).
- I live in a house where I can put the heating on, have a hot bath or build a roasting hot fire whenever my body wants those things and they will offer comfort. I have water a plenty to fill hot water bottles and make warm drinks.
- I have a car that can take me places when my legs don't want to
- I have a job that uses my brain which, even through the fog of the worst of arthritic times, can still put the things I have been taught and practice together and come up with a side ways answer that nobody else saw which means I have a boss that values me because he knows that despite the days I'm at home and not typing tons, he can call me and pick that brain and go away at least with a different idea to his problem if not a solution (and we just won a big award for a bit of research I was a key part of ).
- I woke up this morning.

I could go on but my fingers don't want to. I think you get it though, I might have arthritis but I am truly and deeply lucky!

dibdab

Bless you LV........ what an epic and inspiring post! We struggle and we battle and sometimes we weep, but we are so very blessed and sometimes it takes some one to remind us!

Like you I have twins, who are now 29, one is a paediatrician, the other a zoo keeper, 2 inspiring young adults who are an endless source of pleasure and who know exactly how to lift me up and encourage me when the RA threatens to overwhelm.... your girls will be a forever blessing who will recognise the value of everyone whatever their differing abilities because they have grown up knowing just how "able" and special you are.

Hope that both are back to full health now after your scary interlude recently.

Deb xx

dreamdaisy

Thank you for a powerful post which goes a long way to redressing the skewed balance on here. Sometimes we do forget our blessings because we become so lost in the 'what's wrong' rather than the 'what's right'. DD

LignumVitae

Wow Deb, how right did you get it with your twins?! Two amazing and interesting people with careers like that!

DD I kind of tried to take a negative yesterday and treat it with humour but I failed at it with that post because I am not feeling great and the motherboard to my giggle system was broken sending my irritation system into hyperdrive.

bubbadog

A great post LV that says though we struggle we are very blessed with a lot. My 2 puss puss's are lovely when I'm having a bad day they snuggle up and give me cuddles and sleep next to me. Pets are as amazing than our OH's. Thank you for doing such a fantastically well written post.

barbara12

What a lovely post LV you are so good with words..yes we have lots to be grateful for I thank my lucky stars every day...and don't forget yourself in this for being such a lovely and caring mum ..give yourself a pat on the back.. xx

Sharon2960

Brilliantly inspirational! Fabulous to remind everyone to count their blessings, whether suffering or not.

stickywicket

It's easy enough to list the things that are wrong. We all do it.

It takes insight and determination to compile such a long, accurate list of things that are right, especially in your current state of health.

I hope you'll have another item soon - the right meds.

Thank you, LV. You give a great deal to this forum even when things are at their roughest for you.

theresak

What a wonderful post, LV - humbling and inspiring, and a lesson for everyone to take on board. Your twins are so very lucky to have such a marvellous role model.

stickywicket

LignumVitae wrote:

the motherboard to my giggle system was broken sending my irritation system into hyperdrive.

How's the motherboard, LV?

Indeed, how's the mother?

LignumVitae

Sore and wondering if anti TNFs actually exist. Still waiting! I've also had two tantruming toddlers this week. A combination of things have ramped them up to total grotbag status and for the health and possible future of all three of our giggle systems I had to instigate operation the dullest day ever for them so they could come down from their high and return to lovely cutie pies. One good thing about this arthritis being bad going on so long is that Mr LV has been king of the night time settling this week which one night involved me sleeping alone in a kingsize bed whilst he slept on the floor in the girls room trying to persuade them to stay asleep in their own bed

stickywicket

Oh dear! One at a time was enough for me but hats off to Mr LV. I confess, I would be tempted to waive the 'own bed' rule. I know it's a rod for ones own back but sometimes..... Mind you, if it's his problem not yours.....

I hope the anti-tnfs arrive soon. And work quickly. (((())))

LignumVitae

I had waived the rule - the arthritic mum rule (or LV's at least) is when times are tough and only mummy will do then everybody in together to avoid night time get ups, Summer's recent virus had invoked that clause. Sadly Summer decided that should be how we always slept. My inner hippy may have tolerated it to avoid the battle but they do insist on baby starfish sleep shapes leaving no room or covers. It was worth all the screaming for the night to myself though I kept them in our room in their cot until they were over one. My mum frequently aired her views and disgust at my choice but as anybody who is sore at night will agree, anything to avoid too much movement and disturbance is worth it. They're normally great sleeper, I like to think that was a by product of me keeping them with us so long and feel a bit smug when parents who also thought I was weird complain about their children getting up at unseemly o'clock.
I think the meds might just be a figment of my imagination but I could do with them becoming real if they're going to.

stickywicket

The meds are real. They will be yours and they will work.

Our elder lad still liked to slip into our bed in the mornings before getting up proper when he was about 7 or 8. Mr SW used to grumble that "He'll end up bringing his wife into bed with us." He never has done