Work and it's ups and downs

Slosh
Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
edited 18. Nov 2014, 06:26 in Living with Arthritis archive
Well, where to begin, it really is mixed so I think in time honoured feedback style I'll go for a good news/bad news sandwich.
So positives.
I'm working a real, full time week now my EPP course on a Monday morning has finished and I'm also attending one or two after school meetings a wek so my typical day is between 7 and 8 hours. My dragon software is now up and running and is a real godsend. I put together a document on Special Needs Roles and responsibilities and being reassured by my head that I am still making a positive contribution to the school and my weekly diary is as jam packed as it ever was.

Negatives
Having to deal with staff who are starting to complain to others and behind my back about me and my work, and knowing that another senior teacher is egging this on, but when they had the chance to raise their "complaints" face to face it didn't happen.
As a consequence feeling I have to work harder than before to prove myself.
Dealing with colleagues from outside agencies who see me with my crutches and assuming I've had an accident ask what I've done ( I answer, hopefully with a smile that I'm just disabled).
The sheer fatigue and exhaustion I feel which worsens as the week goes on and the brain fog that descends at times.
Being asked by my head how sustainable I think continuing to work full time is.

And a last positive?
Hanging on in there, and hoping that in my own way I can present a positive role model of disability to pupils in school.

It's just so much harder than I ever expected it to be, but I know how lucky I am to be able to continue to work.
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich

Comments

  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh, I think you must be a real asset to your school, and they are lucky to have you. I`m so pleased your Head values your contribution.

    It`s a long time since I last worked, over 16 years now, but my older son is a teacher, and I know that staffroom politics still do, and will always exist. It is only cowards who go behind a colleague`s back - never finding the courage to bring their complaints out into the open. This happened to me once, and it`s not a nice situation. They are not worth worrying about, though human nature says you will, of course. Neither do you have anything to prove - you are probably your own harshest critic. YOU know you are doing your absolute best, your Head is satisfied, and that is all you need to know.

    You are doing a fantastic job, and don`t let anyone make you doubt that. I think you are marvellous the way you cope with full-time work, and the difficulties and worries that you have - I`m not surprised you feel exhausted as the week goes on. You have a demanding job, and a demanding illness - and you haven`t given in to either.

    Give yourself a big pat on the back, pour yourself a drink, and put your feet up.

    Tezz x
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for that Tezz.
    I do set myself high standards and I'm also very self critical, and not overly confident. Probably not the best of combinations. Still I do have lots of determination and know that the group trying to get at me are in the minority.
    My worries about tuesday don't help either.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Nikkijamie
    Nikkijamie Member Posts: 34
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well done for the positives you should be proud of yourself x

    The negatives are other people's issues not yours, ignore them as best you can as your doing well.

    Take care
  • scattered
    scattered Member Posts: 326
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I hear you, Slosh.

    This is my first full-time job since being diagnosed with RA and, even with the disease in practical remission, it is proving a challenge. It's the fatigue that gets me. I'm on my Wednesday tomorrow (I work a funny shift pattern) and I know the next 3 days are going to be harder than the first lot.

    It sounds like you're doing really well coping with working full-time (working full-stop!) on top of everything else, so please don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you are, and will be, a fantastic role model for your young people.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,331
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Slosh, you're doing amazingly well, even by your high standards. Apart from anything else you are the first person I've ever known to master Dragon software :o

    I find the 'staff' thing horrible but credible. When I was teaching i t was the all-female staffroom that was the bitchy one. I can't see what they would have to bitch about but, if people have that kind of nature, they'll always find something.

    I think it's only natural, when people see crutches etc, to ask about the problem. It's difficult. I never wanted to get into the boring discussion about how young I was to have arthritis. A smile and a deflection are often the quickest ways.

    Your head has always seemed supportive. Do you worry about that question?

    As for hanging on in there, you are not only a positive model for pupils in school but also for us on here, Slosh. You prove what hard work and determination can do. Thank you.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Definitely a positive role model to a population far beyond your pupils. I'd just ignore the tricky comments and people. I have faced that kind of stuff at previous workplaces and honestly, it is all down to them, not you. I once had two people claiming I had made up an emergency appendicectomy to get time off - to be honest, the look on their faces when I flashed my scar was priceless and worth the malicious behaviour :lol: I am in no doubt that you will have your day. I have one colleague who is a bit like this and jumps in my place a little too fast whenever the opportunity arises. She gets very very upset apparently when my boss waxes lyrical about me and my work. It's probably the same for you.

    I always get the 'you're too young for arthritis' to which I smile and say 'I'm afraid not' and just close off the conversation. You don't have to explain but sadly, we live in a world of nosey/ curious people with little tact.

    I think your head is just thinking of you with that question. He'd probably prefer you not to burn out rather than keep going if you are struggling and is trying to let you know that but isn't necessarily asking the questions as gently or tactfully as he could.
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,557
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ignore the politics, they're always pointless and usually cowardly. I reckon they are worried about how you may be showing them up with your determination and dedication. As for the rest of it, of course you will be tired, 'tis the nature of the beast: our bodies have to work so much harder to achieve steadily dwindling amounts of activity, pain itself is tiring because it affects all aspects of our lives but those who don't have it won't understand that (Arthritis-I-can-surf-the-net Protocol is a shining example). Hold on to the positives and continue to list them, especially at the end of a wearying day. Find three good things to evaluate - that usually makes one feel better in oneself. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Once again thank you all.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Slosh you are doing amazingly well, you can see the positives out well the negatives with how your doing. As for the small amount of people who are doing the back stabbing, bulling in the work place has become a new thing. They just need something to entertain their boring existence!! If you smile at them and act by showing them life's great and maybe whistle as you walk by you will throw them. I've done that to some gossiping neighbours and seeing them completely baffled made my day, it does work!!
    Being exhausted will happen your doing a full time job as well as dealing with Arthritis! I know I'm knackered at the end of the and I don't do a full time job!! And what your doing for your students is fantastic, they see you living with a horrible disease and working a full time job showing them it can be done, also answering their questions about your Arthritis teaches them about it and what it does to you.
    You really are a role model you should be extremely proud of yourself for what you have achieved.