Why don't people who.................

theresak

.................know nothing about RA stop offering advice to those of us who live with it? I answered the phone this morning and it was hubby's sister, who in the course of a brief conversation, asked how I was. Since I'm struggling a bit - a lot - at the moment I answered honestly, saying ' things could be better,' whereupon she said, 'oh, surely you can go and get some injections or something, that's what I would do if I was you.'

She doesn't have RA, and I didn't ask what the 'something' was that she suggested - a new body perhaps?

Time for the Evil Santa. :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil:

stickywicket

Maybe she means the injection my sister was referring to around this time last year. She announced that an old schoolfriend of mine who has PsA had had an injection and was now 'fine' having been 'terrible' before and encouraged me to do the same. When I enquired what sort of injection (steroid? Anti-tnf?) she got a bit annoyed but was very insistent I should ask for one.)

Some weeks later I saw the friend. She'd had a steroid jab and it'd helped a lot for a week or two. I told my sister. “Well", she replied, "I was only trying to help.”

BUT IT DOESN'T HELP. IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER AND US FEEL WORSE :xmas_evil:

Another candidate for the tripe infused underwear, Tezz :xmas_cool:

dreamdaisy

I think this happens because 'arthritis' is a common complaint and those without it (whose sole experience of ill-health is to go to the docs, take some pills and get better ) cannot comprehend that we cannot be fixed. (I put 'arthritis' in inverted commas because the majority think there are two kinds, namely OA and RA; they're not stupid, just ignorant.)

I wonder if those with MS, Parkinson's or cancer are also offered such 'wise' words by their family and friends? My betting would be no but who knows? DD

PS Nice one, Sticky, spot on as usual.

TeaBag

:hoho: Annoys me as well I had 1 friend just today say why don't you walk to the church next week when I said parking would be a nightmare :xmas_sad: I suppose they don't think

frogmorton

If it was that easy eh

LignumVitae

This made me giggle - the other day my brother tried to ask me whether diet might help. I don't think I have ever said NO so quickly. He didn't try to take the conversation further - I may be a little sister but I can still scare the pants off him.
I try, most of the time, to see people's enthusiasms along these lines to be well meaning. Little do they know that the well meaning thing to do would be to keep their limited understanding to themselves.

frogmella

I think, that in general, they really do mean well. It is just that they don't engage their brains before opening their mouths. I used to feel that people were having a go at me when they asked if I had tried - chiropractor, painkillers, yoga, massage etc etc - for my back. Like they thought there was that "magic" thing out there that would mend my prolapsed disc/arthritis combo. I talked it over with my friend who suffers from anxiety and, due to all her counselling and the amount of "advice" she also receives, she pointed out that they weren't having a go just really thought they were being helpful.
The thing is that people really think they can empathise because they had knee pain once, that got better with ibuprofen, or a bad back that got better after chiro. They have no idea what it is like to live with something that won't get better.
Turns out, that for me, there was a magic cure. Another week in hospital and a third surgery. I am the lucky one. I wish I could wave the same wand for all of you. :presents: :presents: :presents:

barbara12

My pet hate I'm afraid and so hard to let it go over your head..one of my neighbours..you shouldn't be using a crutch now you have a new hip...has though I love the thing... :xmas_evil:

applerose

My sister-in-law apparently had RA in her neck a while ago but it has cleared up now. I think she expects me to get better soon too. Problem is she will have explained things to my sister who will believe her. :xmas_evil:

JamesFoote

The Arthrtis is really quite new to me but has come in very quickly in multiple areas. The means I have not realy had people give me to much advice yet.

I have had colitis for years and have had the same advice that many of you have had.

People just don't know what to say and things come out that they don't realy mean, even our nearest can forget our limitations at times

As my dad says it is not living to 90 it is living to 50 and things falling off that hurts, well I never got to 50 lol

James

stickywicket

JamesFoote wrote:

As my dad says it is not living to 90 it is living to 50 and things falling off that hurts, well I never got to 50 lol

James

50? Crikey! By 50 I'd lost two knees and a breast and reckoned I was doing well :cheesygrin: