Forum carols

Numptydumpty

:carolers:

It's that time of year again folks!

I'll kick off with this one, I've used RA, but you can change the flavour of arthritis to suit you :xmas_lol:


Ding Dong merrily I'm high
On painkillers and resting
Ding Dong merrily but my
Joints are still protesting

Rheu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, rheumatoid, arthritis is exhausting

Physi o o Physio
Hydro and orthotics
Replacement or fusion to go
What's next? Could be robotics
Rheu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, rheumatoid, arthritis is exhausting

LignumVitae

:carolers: :carolers: Numpty, these are excellent! I'm not even going to try and compete. Thank you :hoho: :hoho:

theresak

That's brilliant! Thanks for sharing it. :carolers: :carolers:

Slosh

Love it

Turbogran

So funny Numpty :hoho: :hoho: had a real giggle reading that
:carolers:

hileena111

:xmas_cheesygrin: Fantastic Numpty :xmas_lol:

I wouldn't even attempt to out do that :xmas_smile:

Love
Hileena

barbara12

Brilliant numpty ..but my brain has trouble coping with everyday things :xmas_eek:

dreamdaisy

That's kicked off the season in fine style, thank you Numpty! Such is the current torpor of the forum that I hadn't even considered starting a new carols thread - I know we've done it before but I shall try and come up with a fresh version of something! DD

stickywicket

Sorry, Numpty. I got so excited about this I searched for the former thread without even thanking you for you continuing genius. Please keep 'em coming. I'm right out of inspiration.

villier

Thanks Numpty great thread but brain(?) is totally mush at the moment I am sure some of the others will come up with some corkers xx : :cheesygrin:

theresak

OK, not good at this but I'll have a bash. This is to the tune of 'Once in Royal David's City.'

Once in the rheumatology department,
I sat down, awaiting my turn.
Then came a nurse, who crooked her finger,
To the doctor's room I went.
There I lay, a-poked and prodded,
Joints protesting, aches and pains.


'Have you brought, your bloods to show me?'
Yes I have,' said I at once.
'Your CRP is way too high,
And your joints, are red and hot.'
Still I lay, my joints protesting,
And all over, aches and pains.

:carolers:

Numptydumpty

:hoho: Excellent!



Hark the Arthritics sing
I can't wear my wedding ring
Finger's swollen they won't bend
Oh when will this horror end
Anti inflammatories don't help
The dreadful pain just makes me yelp
Painkillers are a waste of time
Just pass me a glass of wine
Hark the arthritics sing
I can't wear my wedding ring


Numpty

applerose

These are great. Thanks girls.

:carolers:

stickywicket

Rudolph the Red-kneed Reindeer
Had a very swollen knee
And if you ever saw it
You would say 'arthroscopy'.

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
Just because Rudolph could not
Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
Rudolph with your knee bizarre
How about a TKR?

Then all the reindeer got really jealous and said “Why should he have one and not us?” “Dancer's been unable to dance for years, Prancer can't prance, Dasher can't dash, Cupid's grown old waiting for one, Vixen's living up to her name, Comet's shut down altogether and Donner and Blitzen have become swear words.”

So Santa said “OK guys, you can all have TKRs but first you have to deliver these parcels so gobble up your cocos, trammies, whatever and let's get this sleigh in the sky.”

Then all the reindeer loved him
and they shouted out "Yes please!
Santa's an ortho surgeon.
We're all going to have new knees.”

applerose

Love that one Sticky. :xmas_lol: :xmas_lol:

Numptydumpty

The genius that is our Sticky :xmas_lol:

stickywicket

I'm sure, if I remember rightly (Never a good bet :roll: ) Numpty has already done this far better in a previous year and thread but I can't find it so.......

The Twelve Arthritic days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas the NHS gave me
a steroid injection for free.

On the second day of Christmas the NHS gave me
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the third day of Christmas the NHS gave me
three diclofenac
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the fourth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
four blood tests
three diclofenac
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the fifth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
FIVE MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the sixth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the seventh day of Christmas the NHS gave me
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the eighth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
eight full strength cocos
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the ninth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
nine methotrexate
eight full strength cocos
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the tenth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
ten brand new grab rails
nine methotrexate
eight full strength cocos
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the NHS gave me
eleven different X-Rays
ten brand new grab rails
nine methotrexate
eight full strength cocos
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
twelve new appointments
eleven different X-Rays
ten brand new grab rails
nine methotrexate
eight full strength cocos
seven bottles of gaviscon
six folic acid
five MRIs
four blood tests
three diclos
two TKRs
and a steroid injection for free.

(But I still have RA :? )