Forum carols

Numptydumpty
Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
edited 19. Dec 2014, 10:14 in Community Chit-chat archive
:carolers:

It's that time of year again folks!

I'll kick off with this one, I've used RA, but you can change the flavour of arthritis to suit you :xmas_lol:


Ding Dong merrily I'm high
On painkillers and resting
Ding Dong merrily but my
Joints are still protesting

Rheu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, rheumatoid, arthritis is exhausting

Physi o o Physio
Hydro and orthotics
Replacement or fusion to go
What's next? Could be robotics
Rheu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, heu, heu heu heu heu heu, rheumatoid, arthritis is exhausting

Comments

  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :carolers: :carolers: Numpty, these are excellent! I'm not even going to try and compete. Thank you :hoho: :hoho:
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That's brilliant! Thanks for sharing it. :carolers: :carolers:
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love it
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Turbogran
    Turbogran Member Posts: 2,023
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So funny Numpty :hoho: :hoho: had a real giggle reading that
    :carolers:
    Stay positive always👍xx
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :xmas_cheesygrin: Fantastic Numpty :xmas_lol:

    I wouldn't even attempt to out do that :xmas_smile:

    Love
    Hileena
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Brilliant numpty ..but my brain has trouble coping with everyday things :xmas_eek:
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That's kicked off the season in fine style, thank you Numpty! Such is the current torpor of the forum that I hadn't even considered starting a new carols thread - I know we've done it before but I shall try and come up with a fresh version of something! DD

    u030.gif
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry, Numpty. I got so excited about this I searched for the former thread without even thanking you for you continuing genius. Please keep 'em coming. I'm right out of inspiration.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Numpty great thread but brain(?) is totally mush at the moment I am sure some of the others will come up with some corkers xx : :cheesygrin:
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    OK, not good at this but I'll have a bash. This is to the tune of 'Once in Royal David's City.'

    Once in the rheumatology department,
    I sat down, awaiting my turn.
    Then came a nurse, who crooked her finger,
    To the doctor's room I went.
    There I lay, a-poked and prodded,
    Joints protesting, aches and pains.


    'Have you brought, your bloods to show me?'
    Yes I have,' said I at once.
    'Your CRP is way too high,
    And your joints, are red and hot.'
    Still I lay, my joints protesting,
    And all over, aches and pains.

    :carolers:
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :hoho: Excellent!



    Hark the Arthritics sing
    I can't wear my wedding ring
    Finger's swollen they won't bend
    Oh when will this horror end
    Anti inflammatories don't help
    The dreadful pain just makes me yelp
    Painkillers are a waste of time
    Just pass me a glass of wine
    Hark the arthritics sing
    I can't wear my wedding ring


    Numpty
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    These are great. Thanks girls.

    :carolers:
    Christine
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Rudolph the Red-kneed Reindeer
    Had a very swollen knee
    And if you ever saw it
    You would say 'arthroscopy'.

    All of the other reindeer
    Used to laugh and call him names
    Just because Rudolph could not
    Join in any reindeer games

    Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
    Santa came to say,
    Rudolph with your knee bizarre
    How about a TKR?

    Then all the reindeer got really jealous and said “Why should he have one and not us?” “Dancer's been unable to dance for years, Prancer can't prance, Dasher can't dash, Cupid's grown old waiting for one, Vixen's living up to her name, Comet's shut down altogether and Donner and Blitzen have become swear words.”

    So Santa said “OK guys, you can all have TKRs but first you have to deliver these parcels so gobble up your cocos, trammies, whatever and let's get this sleigh in the sky.”

    Then all the reindeer loved him
    and they shouted out "Yes please!
    Santa's an ortho surgeon.
    We're all going to have new knees.”
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love that one Sticky. :xmas_lol: :xmas_lol:
    Christine
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol:
    The genius that is our Sticky :xmas_lol:
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm sure, if I remember rightly (Never a good bet :roll: ) Numpty has already done this far better in a previous year and thread but I can't find it so.......

    The Twelve Arthritic days of Christmas

    On the first day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    a steroid injection for free.

    On the second day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the third day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    three diclofenac
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the fourth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    four blood tests
    three diclofenac
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the fifth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    FIVE MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the sixth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the seventh day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the eighth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    eight full strength cocos
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the ninth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    nine methotrexate
    eight full strength cocos
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the tenth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    ten brand new grab rails
    nine methotrexate
    eight full strength cocos
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    eleven different X-Rays
    ten brand new grab rails
    nine methotrexate
    eight full strength cocos
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas the NHS gave me
    twelve new appointments
    eleven different X-Rays
    ten brand new grab rails
    nine methotrexate
    eight full strength cocos
    seven bottles of gaviscon
    six folic acid
    five MRIs
    four blood tests
    three diclos
    two TKRs
    and a steroid injection for free.

    (But I still have RA :? )
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright