The consultant, the photo shoot and the oregano

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stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
edited 4. Mar 2015, 07:30 in Living with Arthritis archive
Bilhooks :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil: :xmas_evil:

Others might complain of being brushed off by uncaring docs who aren't interested in referring them for tests, scans etc. Why do I invariably get the very kind but super-efficient (hereinafter known as kbse) ones who always want to 'make sure'?

This morning saw me with the gastro specialist as my kbse GPs had clocked my low haemoglobin levels and had kbse-ly overruled my protests that it would just be the RA or the meds. The day started badly with a search for a specimen bottle as I only properly read last night that they wanted one. I recalled those awful anti-natal clinics with everyone trying to hide their enormous jam jars. What was empty? Chenin Blanc? Better not. Thank God for herbs and spices and an almost empty oregano one.

Doc M was friendly and gentle and, alas, kbse. He talked, listened, examined and then explained that, as RA can also damage the spleen and something else which I immediately forgot, and as it's not just my haemoglobin but also ferritin levels that are less than buoyant, I do need things checked. He was delighted the GPs had refused me iron tablets as he agreed with them that they could give false results.

Jan 17th will be the red letter day for my endoscopy and colonoscopy. (Both together :o What do they do :? Stick one camera down and one up until they kiss in my middle :xmas_twisted: ) They'll give me a child's mouthpiece so, happily, no sawn off tubing this time. Anyone wishing to roll up for the premiere of my innards will be required to keep wine corks / tops firmly in place until I am able to join you afterwards. I'm usually ravenous after these procedures so something to soak up the wine would be good.

Oh, and he didn't need to test my oregano levels :xmas_cool:
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

Comments

  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm sure in the long run you will appreciate the thoroughness of your medical team but it wasn't what you wanted to hear right now. I'll come along for the trip but no drinks for me as I'll have to go back to work after.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You have a wonderful sense of humour, Sticky, which will see you through the endoscopy & colonoscopy. Two for the price of one, eh? I suppose at least it gets them over with.

    I think, on the whole, kbse practitioners are preferable to twfyo - those who fob you off. My GP is one of the kbse brigade, and I'm thankful for it. Indeed, I have an appointment with him tomorrow, so who knows what extra meds he will suggest - but he will act in my best interests, I'm sure.

    Jan 17th will come round soon enough, and I very much hope the results will be good. As you suggest, I will keep the cork firmly in the bottle until the appropriate time.

    Low ferritin levels are the bane of my life.

    Tezz x

    PS Thank goodness the oregano levels were OK!
  • Megrose489
    Megrose489 Member Posts: 779
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    We'll be with you in spirit on the day, Sticky. I have a friend who had both done on the same day and it was fine. I know it must seem like a pain for the docs to be so kbse, but it's good that they want to get to the bottom (sorry :xmas_smile: ) of the problem.

    How well I remember the half-full medicine bottles at ante-natal visits! Happy days. :xmas_smile:

    Take care of yourself.

    Meg
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh dear Sticky! You won't know whether you're coming or going, or your R's from your elbow!
    Of course I'll be there, cheering you on :candycane: can't promise not to open a bottle though, as I may need something to calm my nerves :xmas_cheesygrin:
    Numpty
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh crikey, what a pain in the backside :wink: as well as the topside. :xmas_evil: It is, however, for the best (she says blithely, who has never had either of these procedures and who would probably grizzle like an over-tired toddler all the way through). I know you are made of sterner stuff, however, and will appreciate that it is better to be thorough rather than slapdash. I'll be there (with me 3D specs!) and a bokkle of summat lovely for after. DD

    i015.gif
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all for your words of encouragement, and offer of victuals. Will one of you, in the Viewers' Gallery', please keep a close eye on Numpty once she gets that bottle open. (No, not you, DD, or there'll be none left for the star of the show :wink: )

    Megrose it's good to hear of someone who has already 'done the double'. I've only had them separately before.

    By the way, did anyone spot the...er....deliberate mistake? I have actually attended a sort of 'anti-natal' clinic but it was known as the 'contraceptive clinic' :oops:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I always end up feeling a bit bad reading your posts because you make me giggle at your misfortunes. I'll be there and I will keep an eye on Numpty (and DD I suspect). I will also have a nice bottle of malt to soothe your throat after - Laphraoig 15 years do you? I'm a bit unclear here, and maybe I should just remain so but is it a simultaneous thing or one after the other? Either way I don't envy you and I'm not sure where I would chose to start or end with those two options.

    Anti-natal clinics now have lovely wicker baskets full of sample pots for you to discreetly pick up and take home ready for next time. No more jam jars :presents:
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Anti-natal clinics now have lovely wicker baskets full of sample pots for you to discreetly pick up and take home ready for next time. No more jam jars :presents:

    :mrgreen: You young mothers of today are spoilt rotten :xmas_lol:

    Laphraoig? Oh yes, I think that's recommended for post-procedure recovery :oops: I wonder if I should take it before or after the wine ?

    It sounds, from Megrose's post, as if it's one after the other, presumably to prolong the excitement for as long as possible :?

    As for laughing - don't apologise. That's the idea. When the option is to laugh or cry laughing is so much more fun. I've tried to get out of it and failed so let's sally forth and find the good bits. Laughter is always a good bit. So is whisky :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    POst procedure I think you can have it before wine, with wine and after wine.
    Purely for medicinal reasons obviously
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Count me in Sticky, you know me like a good pocket duty party, although, like Numpty can't promise a bottle(or two) will not be popped and you know what her and I are like when we get together :xmas_eek: :presents: :rudolph: my cousin had both procedure's done together, they do one end and then the other. xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • scattered
    scattered Member Posts: 326
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I've always found the best part of a colonoscopy to be the mix of strong painkillers and sedatives. I walked out of my last one in less pain than I'd been in years, and not caring about the bits I could feel!

    Best of luck with them both. I'll be in pockets.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Painkillers? Sedatives? Waking up? Where did you have yours, scattered? I got none of those last time only the advice that there were no pain receptors in the colon. To be honest, it wasn't at all painful.

    LV, please will you be my GP?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Update

    So, once again, I did the endoscopy (clear) and the colonoscopy (clear as far as they could get) and my lovely GP said OK, enough was enough so let's give up on the end bit of my colon that no-one can ever reach.

    So I was all ready to book my ticket for L.A ("When are you coming to see me, Grandma?") but the travel insurers wouldn't touch me for anaemia (or anything that could be connected to it - ie most things :roll: ) until the consultant himself had laid me off.

    Yet again I got a thorough one. He insisted on a scan to check out the last hidden bit of my colon. I explained the situation. He was lovely. He tried, on the spot, to get me one for tomorrow. No joy. So he said there was a nice guy who might do him a favour. He'll ask and get back to me and, if the scan's clear, he'll let me know asap so's we can book.

    I guess he can't say more than that. I just hope I get the all-clear quickly. Prices start climbing in April and money's tight. And there's a little 5 yr old baseball and basketball player over there who wants us to watch him playing every bit as much as we do. Wish me luck, please :P
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Ooh nooooo! My fingers are firmly crossed for you and I'm hoping that the consultant works his magic, the results are clear and you can reassure your insurer that you have a clean passage and they can insure you for a reasonably priced passage to your little sporting champ (((((())))))
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Fingers crossed
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Aww Sticky I have everything crossed that I can cross for you the consultant sounds lovely and I'm sure he will do his best to get you the quickest app he can, let's hope your up and away to sunny LA soon (((()))) xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks, LV, Slosh and villier.

    Yup, a clean sweep of my passage, LV. That sound good :lol:

    Stop Press
    Just had a call from the hospital. My scan will be a week on Thursday and, as they only do them on Thursdays, that's a cracking result from Doc Muhammed. I'm starting to get cautiously excited again :jheart:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    SW sorry I missed this first time round..I remember the antenatals very well they must have had some strange results ... :lol:
    Glad you have got the all clear..apart from the little bit ...I do hope they can clear this up then you can jet off to America...good luck...
    Love
    Barbara
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Firstly I`m glad you`re able to have your scan next week, Sticky. I also hope it goes well and your consultant signs you off so that you can head off to America.

    Nothing is nicer than watching your grandsons play.Our eldest (he`s 10) had his first cricket session in a helmet last night - they have to once they move up & use the hard ball.)

    Hope you are booking those tickets very soon.
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    My dearest stickiness. . I am extremely pleased that I missed the whole hole business at the start of this thread. . :shock: I cannot imagine being in a room full of wasted Wimmin folks whilst watching your innards and outards in great detail being displayed on the 3D tv screen. . Was there popcorn?

    I am glad that things are in order though and will gladly tag along for pocket duties a week tomorrow. I shall sit quietly at the back though. Please don't ask me to be crowd control. . I know what you Wimmin are like once the wine is flowing :o

    :wink: xx
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
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    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Popcorn :shock: No. Instead there was about 36 hours of fasting and several without watter even.

    The next scan is a minor affair. I want no trouble from rowdies just a clean bill of health followed by my airline ticket and insurance. PLEASE.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright