Memory Lane

theresak

Slosh`s comment on another thread about something her headteacher said set me thinking about my very first teaching practice, which was a three-week placement in a Middle School in a less than salubrious part of Newcastle. I was tasked with giving one class a "taster" of athletics - running/throwing/jumping. Bear in mind I was the rawest of recruits.

The kids were what you might call rough diamonds, and every lesson, got changed cheerfully ( for the most part ) in a motley collection of PE kit. They would then rush across to the equipment shed, and the clamour would begin :
" Miss, are we ganna hoy the spears the day? Aaam dying to hoy them spears, so is it wor turn the day?"
For those unfamiliar with the Geordie dialect " Miss, are we going to throw the spears ( javelins ) today? I`m dying to throw those javelins, so is it our turn today?

The other thing they delighted in telling me was to explain the rather unpleasant smell which wafted round the playing field
" Can ye get that stink Miss? It`s the knackers yard just ower there - they`re guttin the coos." Self-explanatory I think.

Anyone else got some amusing work experiences to share?

stickywicket

I think you'd be a brave woman to entrust them with 'the spears', Tezz. They'd probably have had a go with the coos

I recall a particularly difficult lesson trying to explain the spanish infinitive to a class of 12 yr olds. Finally one lass at the front turned round and explained to her fellow pupils " It's what's theer afore yer start mucking abaht wi' it." They all smiled in relief and then asked why I couldn't have put it so simply.

barbara12

Brilliant Tezz...I go love the Geordie accent...my most fearful job was at a specialist school..you know the ones they closed down :xmas_sad: ..I was looking after 2 little boys with autism..my first day the teacher said dont ever take your eyes off that one...I want a wee he says :!: so off we went..I stayed close by outside the door ..next min the other little boy pointed to the window ...he was leggin it across the field toward the rd.. I have never ran so fast in my life dragging this other little boy along..I caught him...he had climbed through the window :xmas_eek: ..I went on to do 5 years till they closed the school and I loved it... :xmas_smile: and it kept me fit...

theresak

Nice stories, Sticky & Barbara.

Keep them coming!


PS I wasn`t brave enough to let them "hoy the spears."

Slosh

A lovely pupil with learning difficulties once told me that her cat had to to the vets, when I asked why she said "it's had it's ba**s cut off"

Another favourite I may have posted before. A pupil with reading difficulties I was tutoring said she wanted to read difficult words like the ones in her Mum's book. I asked what the book was called. She thought for a moment and then said "I think it's called Mr Grey's 50 shades."
I might add that it was a session I was recording to send to my tutor.

I also once got asked by a teacher if I had been teaching a particular pupil to spell words ending with "uck", I said yes, and she replied that he was now spelling a certain 4 letter word correctly when writing on the wall of the boys toilet.

theresak

We had a very large family of kids at my school - there were twelve of them, all sharing various differing surnames. Most of them were naughty, some were very good poachers - I was frequently offered the fruits of their efforts -and the mother, Winnie, never ever came to parents' nights, until child no.12 started, when she bounced in dragging said child with her, and in a very loud voice announced to all and sundry "This one'll be clever - his father was a student at the university." Cue a deafening silence!

stickywicket

It doesn't, of course, necessarily follow....

theresak

...................it didn't, & he wasn't. (clever)

Slosh

These are from today.
Our year 3 pupils have just started their swimming lessons.

A TA noticed one boy was still wearing his underpants. Whn she spoke to him he said
"It's alright Miss, they're waterproof."

She then saw a girl who was standing trying to cover her upper body with her hands. When she asked her why the girl put her arms down. ...she had put her swimsuit on back to front!

theresak

Oh bless them!!