Being honest

Slosh

I saw my GP (again) on Friday, when I last saw him in December I was quite tearful and down about things and so he said he wanted to see me again in 3-4 weeks. I have been struggling emotionally with the thought of going back to work this term, not because I don't like my job, but because when I initially went back, I, (along with my colleagues), assumed, naively I now realise,,that it would get easier over the term and I would get back to how I was before. This term I just knew it was going to continue to be challenging etc. I have been quite tearful which is not me. Anyway I talked, he listened, asked questions and then when I said that I knew it was because last year wasn't that good healthwise, stopped me, smiled and said it was a hard and difficult year and just outlined everything. As a result he has referred me for counselling which I am pleased about, and then asked when I was going to see him again! We have agreed on two months unless I want or need to see him before.

theresak

Hi Slosh,

I'm glad your GP seems to be keeping a close eye on you, and is monitoring your mental well-being as well as the physical.I think it's vitally important to have a supportive GP whom you can trust. My own GP is great - like yours, he is prepared to listen.

As you know, I retired some years ago on the grounds of ill-health, and while in many ways it was a huge relief, there was still a part of me that felt almost bereft, having been used to working most of my life. I missed the camaraderie and I even missed the kids. For a time I didn't want to go out much, in case people asked why I was no longer working. Silly, I know, but I almost felt guilty at being retired. It was at that point that my GP recommended a counsellor, and I found it very beneficial - just being able to talk to someone 'neutral,' and not worry my family.I had about six sessions, I think,and afterwards I felt much more accepting of the situation.

I'm sorry this is a bit long-winded, but I hope the counselling helps, and your GP continues to be supportive. Don't worry about being tearful - it happens to all of us.

Tezz x

Slosh

Thanks, I have had counselling in the past, twice after loosing my first two babies through premature still birth and then when I had a breakdown following a tough six months in which my marriage broke up, I moved house and my Father died, and always found it very helpful. I can understand how much you missed work, the team I work with are great and we all support each other and of course the kids can always give a boost.
My problem is I don't find it easy to talk about my feelings.

stickywicket

I think you're doing the right thing, Slosh. I also think you'll be able to make the most of this opportunity even though you say you find it difficult to talk about your feelings. I think, on here, you do very well and, if counselling has helped in the past, you have the incentive to go for it again. Honesty is, as they say, the best policy. (For a start, it saves having to remember who you told what to ) ) It also makes life much more straightforward. I hope you find it very rewarding.

villier

Glad to see you have a GP like mine Slosh that looks after you. I am glad you are getting the counselling that you know that has helped in the past and I am sure it will help this time, keep talking to us as well if it is helping get things off your chest. Good luck let us know how you get on. xx

dreamdaisy

I'm off to see my rheumatologist tomorrow, the first appointment with her in fifteen months. Tears will happen (mine, not hers ) but I care not. It's not easy to talk about things (especially when the Spouse will be sitting there too) but how is she supposed to know how things are unless I tell her? If you have found counselling a help in the past then I am sure you will again and I hope it can be arranged.

Slosh, my lovely, your life has changed and changed a very great deal. You have coped remarkably well but your capabilities have changed but not your ability. The physical resources which used to come so easily now evaporate far more quickly, this is one of the 'hidden' aspects of arthritis which those without do not easily understand. All I remember from stopping work was a huge sense of relief that that part of my fight with life was done and dusted. DD

Slosh

Sticky and DD thank you both. I think I have been able to share some of how I feel on here as I can be in control of what I say, it's anonymous, and there's no probing.

DD you are saying the same as my GP, and I think a term in work wise , and coming up for a year on from surgery the reality is hitting me a bit. In my heart of hearts a bit of counselling is overdue, I can access it through my school's health insurance scheme and did think about it a few times but then felt I could manage without and didn't really need it. I needed my GP to give me the push and help me see it's not giving in to get some.

Slosh

Meant to say I hope the appointments you both have coming up this week Sticky and DD go well.

barbara12

Hi Slosh
You do seem to have a good GP there, hopefully the counseling will let you come to terms with things , like you say its not always easy..wishing you well with it all..x

dreamdaisy

Reality is nothing to write home about, is it? You have confronted (and dealt with) a great deal of surgical reality but now your before-surgery-life and its challenges (which haven't changed) are demanding to be acknowledged which is where the counselling may help. This is far from easy for you but we'll be here to cheer you on, OK? DD

PS Thank you for your good wishes, I have written my list of bad and good things to discuss - one outweighs the other and no prizes for guessing which!

stickywicket

Thanks, Slosh, for your good wishes. Me too

I do get the distinction between 'talking' on here and talking to a real, live person who might ask questions which should be addressed. But I do, honestly, feel you're up to whatever line the conversation takes, not necessarily without difficulty but up to it nevertheless. You are a strong person.

DD, reality is as good as it gets. Let's make the most of it. As for good and bad for the rheumatologist - they can't help if we only list the good. Let's hope that, having listed the bad, good will come of it

Starburst

I'm proud of you, Slosh. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and you did it. Talking about how you feel is not something that comes naturally to a lot of people. I also understand why it's easier to talk on here because you have that control but you will in person too. A good counsellor knows when to probe and when to let people be.

I am very pro talking therapies, having had it for years, and one day, i hope to train as a psychotherapist myself. In the US, their culture is far more open about feelings and I think it's beneficial.

Best of luck.

Ladybrown

Hi Slosh
I hope you get some support with the counselling. I had some when I was first diagnosed ten years ago and it really helped. It was a lot easier than other counselling I had in the past because we could start from the obvious pain issues so I felt less awkward. I think I'm at a similar stage to you in terms of tearful visits to the doctor and suggestions I should consider reducing my work (I think we are both teachers?). I'd hoped this term would feel easier, but not so far. I am seeing an Occupational Health doctor next week which I arranged through work - have you been offered anything similar?
Best of luck xx