P.R.A.T.S. & P.I.D.D.L.E.S.

stickywicket

With a general election coming up, we feel it's time someone spoke up about the inequality of pain distribution in this country.

Some people (including some members of these forums) not content with one painful debilitating and disabling disease, have greedily taken on more and more while many of the general public, despite their dedicatedly reckless lifestyles, fail to achieve so much as one. Something must be done to redress the balance.

We are the Party for the Redistribution of Arthritic Tyranny (ie the PRATs). In government, we will ensure that there is no longer a monopoly of pain and disease by an arthritic elite. They will, instead, be distributed fairly among all the voting public. We will establish:

* Pain, Inflammation, Disease, Disability, Lethargy and Enfeeblement (PIDDLE) quotas – no-one shall be allowed more than their fair share.

* PIDDLE Banks in every community where members of AC can deposit their surplus PIDDLE and more deprived members of the community can obtain a shedload for free.

* An end to zero-hour PIDDLEs.

* A compulsory GCSE in the Arthritis Ache & Agony Route to Generalised Handicap (AAARGH)

Watch out for our party logo - a gnarled, creaking gate of indeterminate colour on a background of inflammation pink. Please feel free to contact us with your own suggestions for policy-making. And, above all, don't forget to vote for your local PRAT.

theresak

You've got my vote, Sticky - let's hear it for the P.R.A.T.S.!!

dibdab

Sitting here with throbbing ankles.......thank you for the chuckle, you have my vote!!!! Happy to deposit one or more afflictions in the PIDDLE bank, I'm all for more equality.

Deb

dreamdaisy

Oh Sticky, what genius! That has provided a more than welcome laugh - thank you! I am currently overflowing with pain so will happily make a deposit in my local P.I.D.D.L.E. bank so I can spread the joy. DD

mig

Im a p.r.at in every sense .Mig

LignumVitae

I'm a P.R.A.T. and I love the P.I.D.D.L.E. banks. I do feel that rationing associated with the banks ought not to be shared out equally, instead, there should be a priority system starting with those lacking in empathy and, given my dear sister in law, followed by those who are judgemental about the need to use drugs to control conditions and feel that maybe we are 'making up' the severity of things just so we can take lots of nasty chemicals. Let them feel the arthritis love for themselves.

stickywicket

Oooh now there's a thought, LV. I feel another policy coming on.

'RA Days' (or OA or PsA etc) will be compulsory for such as your SIL......or anyone offering to cure us with celery. They would begin extremely painfully and creakily, jabs would be as soon as the fingers were able - or near enough - , a 'normal' day of work / housework / cooking etc would be compulsory. Copious advice and tripe on offer at every available opportunity. No bed before all tasks completed.

bubbadog

I will be voting for P.R.A.T.S this election and defiantly be making a deposit in my P.I.D.D.L.E.S account!! Love it !! Only sticky could come up with this beauty!!

theresak

Oh yes, I could nominate a few folks for a `Compulsory RA Day.` That would be just the ticket!

villier

Brilliant!!!! you certainly got my vote Sticky xx

Slosh

And mine!

applerose

I'll definitely be voting for the P.R.A.T.S. I like your policies.

stickywicket

OK I feel bad about this one but you lot will understand

I think we need some sort of policy to curb the ultra-helpful. You know the sort – kind, generous, lovely people who won't let you do a thing for yourself without leaping in to do it for you.

I have lived all my adult life with arthritis and 1-3 blokes. Not only am I not used to this treatment but it actually irritates me. If I can, I will and I'd rather. If I can't, I'll ask.

Maybe the overhelpful could be prescribed a week of pure self-indulgence. No good deeds allowed

bubbadog

I like that policy Sticky put it on the manifesto!!

Boomer13

When and where do I open my Piddle account. I can't wait as I also have a surplus right now. Finally somewhere to deposit this pain currency where I won't mind paying banking fees.

Thank you Sticky, for the wonderful laugh. I needed that today.

dreamdaisy

So, the opposition parties are comprised of the well-meaning idiots (symbol a stick of celery) and the over-helpful twerps (symbol a Cheshire-cat type smile). I can feel another acronym attack coming on . . . . DD

Boomer13

The over-helpful twerps and the doubters can have all my pain and dysfunction. Immediately.