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really struggling please read and reply

36katieo36katieo Posts: 7
edited 22. Feb 2015, 08:43 in Young people's community
hi people, im 17 got diagnosed two years ago with sacroiliitis arthritis but had it for like 3 years previously before the doctors actually did what they were paid to do. I'm now on humira which is an anti-tnf. I'm wondering how people handle things like moods, I was good at sport, happy and sociable but since the arthritis I can't do much at all, im very isolated and I really struggle making and even maintaining friendships cause I either dont have the ability or people misunderstand my inability with just looking for an excuse, even close friends. How im trying to deal with it is to act like being alone is what I want, that I dont want to go were everyone else is. Doesn't work much but sadly its the best I can do. So was wondering how you maintain your friendships also?
Also I was wondering if im the only person who is still awake at 4.12 am? I can never sleep when im meant to most nights im awake till around 5 and it's just not healthy so is there some secret spell I need in order to fall asleep?
Please reply, anyone im kinda not handling things the way I normally do. Thanks.


  • moderatormoderator Posts: 4,091 mod
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Welcome to the forum 36katieo, I am sure you will find support, advice and light relief.

    I am one of the moderation team, we all have one or more arthritis conditions or look after family with the same. If you need help with the technicalities of the forum just get in touch via a personal message.

    Take care
    Mod YEH
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,887
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello there :) I saw your post earlier but held back hoping some other young person would step in but I don't think they hang around here as much as us oldies :roll:

    I'm not 17, with arthritis, but I once was. I was diagnosed at 15 with Stills Disease / RA and I do remember the difficulties of being 'other' at school. (I was once given a rollicking from a teacher when I said I couldn't help her move a heavy table due to the arthritis in my hands. She apologised next day when she'd found out it was true.)

    I have to say, my friends were supportive, though - literally so at times as I had to lean on them to help me walk. But no-one really understands another person's pain. It's doubly hard when you're young and the pain cuts you off from your friends and former activities. I can so understand the way you are dealing with it by pretending you don't really want to do stuff but I fear that it will only isolate you more as that may be interpreted as your not wanting to be with them. I think the truth is better as long as it can be delivered without self-pity. Have you ever come across The Spoon Theory (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ ) and / or There's a Gorilla in my House (http://batsgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2008/04/gorilla-in-your-house.html ) They might help your friends to understand.

    Why are you awake in the night, I wonder? Is it pain? If so, could you juggle your pain meds so that you can take some then? Is it anxiety? Why not have a chat with someone on the Arthritis Care Helpline? In fact, why not do that anyway? They are very understanding people. And, don't forget, we're not all ancient on Living With Arthritis :wink: We do have some younger regulars though, admittedly, probably a year or two older than you.
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • 36katieo36katieo Posts: 7
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, no usually young people dont reply sadly hahah, I think my friends dont ask me cause they expect me to say no because my arthritis is so severe that I normally cant:/
    I think the insomnia is a mixture really anxiety, pain and I feel I generally cant sleep:-( I think I'll just have to focus on my education rather than my social life lol.
    Thank you for replying! :-)
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,887
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Focusing on education is no bad thing (I had a whale of a time at uni and made friends for life) but you need friends too.

    Try this http://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/PublicationsandResources/Someonetotalkto/Helpline/TheSource I know nothing about it other than it's for young people with arthritis. I guess you've nothing to lose even if you gain nothing.

    And, if you continue to be unable to sleep, why not have a chat with your GP? That's what they're there for :)
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
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