I should be doing stuff but lack the motivation.

Options
dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
edited 18. Mar 2015, 19:09 in Living with Arthritis archive
The house is up to its eyes in clutter with heaps of ironing on the spare bed, heaps of laundry awaiting the attention of the Bosch on my linen basket, the sofa has disappeared under a blizzard of old papers, magazines and carrier bags, the dining table likewise (plus a box with three whizzy new Santas, roll on Christmas!) and the kitchen is nothing to be proud of :oops: with last night's Pyrex dish still in soak (swimming in cold, greasy water). It's a lovely sunny day here, which usually provides at least some impetus to tackle domestic drudgery, but not today.

I have no energy and even less interest in restoring the house to being somewhere pleasant to be. :( Stuff is hurting (not unusual), I have a headache (unusual) and all I'm doing is sipping water and idly killing time before I meet an old friend for lunch. I know I would find the latter more satisfying if I achieve at least one chore but . . . . . .

How do you motivate yourself when things need to be done but you feel overwhelmed? Or should I just close my eyes to it all and swan about without a care in the world? DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
«1

Comments

  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Mehh.... Burn it all and go out :wink:

    I am in a similar mood to be honest. didn't sleep well last night due to back pain and the accompanying leg pains.

    I have managed to gather the stuff we need to go straight to Skeggy from picking Janet up from work at half two. .

    I hurt too hun. .

    Leave the lot till later. I'll bring the matches, you buy the tea and sarnies :lol::lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    How do you motivate yourself when things need to be done but you feel overwhelmed?

    In that situation I attempt to do just the odd thing – preferably something which will provide maximum difference for minimum effort.

    BUT, if stuff's hurting, and you have a headache, forget the lot as thinking of it will only worsen the headache. Go where you can't see it, or at least much of it. It will keep. OK it won't tidy itself up but, if you're not up to it, you're not up to it. End of. That, I think, is the advice the wise DD would give to someone else.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Close you eyes to the mess and go out for lunch where you can't see it. I'm inclined to think that the mess will still be there when you feel a bit more human.......be gentle with yourself for a while.

    Hope the headache eases soon.

    Deb x
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Have your lunch out and enjoy it - you may feel more motivated afterwards, but if you don`t, then tomorrow is another day.

    I must admit, I have adopted Sticky`s approach before - doing maybe just one job (preferably ) the least onerous, and feeling satisfied with that.
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 13. Mar 2015, 12:59
    Options
    I am with Deb I would walk away and close the door then again I have only myself to think about but if things are hurting best left till you are feeling a bit more able to tackle things. I hope you had a lovely relaxing lunch with your friend and has done you the world of good. xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    burn it :lol::lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Thank you, each and every one, for taking the time to reply - I appreciate it. For what it's worth I completely agree with tjt but realise that isn't a go-er. :wink:

    After my post I bucked myself up and tackled the kitchen , to the wonderful accompaniment of a very quirky play on Radio4Xtra, the story of a piano as told by the piano (aka Haydn Gwynne). The sink was cleared and cleaned, the washing up likewise, washing put on the airer and the machine dried etc. so when I came back after a very pleasant lunch and a wonderful session at my friend's shop ('Take them, pay me next week when I can be bothered to work out the bill,') I entered a sweet-smelling kitchen. Shame about the rest of the house but no matter. Tomorrow is another day and Things Will Be Done because The Spouse will be around so I must behave like a proper wife - not that he will notice but . . . . DD (who is not a complete slattern because some parts are missing :wink: ).
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    There comes a point when it's a waste of scarce energy trying to summon up motivation. Better to shut the door(literally and mentally) on it and do something more pleasant, even if it's just enjoying the spring weather in the garden. Then at least you have got something positive from the day, and sometimes the boost to emotional wellbeing provides the necessary oomph to get tiresome tasks done.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Well done, you!

    I often find motivation lies in a piece of music (Definitely Mozart's Horn Concertos for ironing) or the radio. The piano story sounds wonderfull. I may have to 'catch' it on 'catch up'. It reminded me of when I first started to play the piano. Mum & Dad had just bought a second hand gramophone plus lots of records and I loved Sparky's Magic Piano. (I suspect I'd probably hate it now.) For years, somewhere in the back of my mind, I believed I might just manage the wonderful first movement of the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto. Alas, my piano, unlike Sparky's, was not a magic one but I was hooked on Tchaikovsky even then. Thanks for bringing back a great memory.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I try and do a little thing, like putting the dishes in to the washing up bowl, and sometimes that gets me going to do more but there are times when I do ignore it all and have sometimes had to wash a plate so I could put my meal on it. I always say it isn't going anywhere. It'll be there for a time when I feel I can tackle it. Very well done on getting so much done when you really don't want to.
    Christine
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Well. As you totally ignored my advice I suppose that you should have got on with it, like a good wummun should :o :shock: Lol. . Am I in trouble :? :? :lol: xxx
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Tony, you are on very dangerous ground with facetious remarks like that!

    Personally, I'd lob it all into a cupboard and slam the door shut before it all falls out. Then do my utmost to avoid re-opening said cupboard until I could face the avalanche when the door is re-opened ...

    I'm sure you'll get it sorted quickly DD. I cannot imagine your home being in any kind of a mess.

    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I heard a report last week.. a sports firm were getting some kind of sports wear made in Talland (I think) and apparently when the wash instructions were translated into English they read: Hand this top to your wife to wash. It's her job :shock:
    Lol. .

    I almost had to stop the car I was laughing that hard. . :lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Grace, my cupboards are full to overflowing, as are two laundry bins (we have three, don't ask) and I am dreadful at putting things away. I cannot blame the arthritis because I have always been like it!

    tjt? You do make me laugh! I still think yours is the best advice but I am fearful of burning down the house because I'm too lazy to lug it all out into the garden. :wink: Motivation is still a problem but at least I have been out-and-about, posted a card, given a card and small gift to my friend's (pay me next week)daughter who is ten today, collected HIS prescription from the Chemist and popped into Morriesons to but some emergency supplies: Pot Noodle, a paper, juice and milk.

    DD is a good girl. :D
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    At least you are making effective use of your storage space.

    Tony is going to get into heaps of trouble with his boss - Mrs Tony - if he keeps on like this. Pass it to your wife indeed!

    My partner years ago made the mistake of saying something was women's work. :o Yep - he wasn't allowed to forget that for quite a while. Let's just say he didn't repeat the mistake and quickly saw the error of his ways.

    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Lol. .
    My solution to your problem. . Have the house covered from top to toe in asbestos. . Then burning stuff should be fine :wink:

    I have done ok-ish today. Parked up in Skeggy and managed to walk around a fair bit. (A fair bit for me anyway lol)
    Did a very small amount of repair on the side of mum's house.. Water has been getting behind the render :roll: Janet however, did too much. . As usual. . Lol
    But I loves her anyway :wink:

    DD. . Burn it all xxx

    Grace. . Janet once warned me in a similar way. . But I Couldn't hear her as she was in the kitchen where she belongs :o:o:o:lol:

    Yes. She IS going to kill me girls don't worry. . Lol
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Well done DD..........hope today feels a bit better. Having been away and abandoned hubby for 3 weeks I've steadily ploughed through 2 over flowing linen bins....he managed to feed himself and the puppy, and keep the carpets hovered and the sink clear of dirty dishes, so I'm not complaining. Today however he decreed we needed some down time together so he drove me out into the welsh hills......very relaxing and a good opportunity to nap, then treated me to lunch. Still paying the price for the long journey in sore joints but it will pass, most things do , at least to some extent.

    Deb xx
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi DD
    I have been away and just came home.....its now Sunday Morning. 7.30am
    My attitude would be to "hide" things.......close doors on a mess if its a room you don't use much :lol: {or you can get away with not using}
    No doubt all the kids will appear today sometime today but I don't know when?????
    I'm not unpacked or sorted yet because we are going away on Sunday again :shock:
    So the spare bedroom is going to be tight closed to hide the mess...in fact all the bedroom doors will be closed while they are here :lol:
    Livingroom/dining room....well I'll try to tidy or {hide things } :lol: I've got t admit Peter will vacuum.....not easy with 2 crutches. 2 toilets/bathrooms will be cleaned and that will be it.
    If I'm feeling like you do I try to make a list of things that need doing {important things :? } not unnecessary things like ironing bedclothes :lol: Most important first and do that ten forget about the rest, have a look at your list the next day, try to get one more thing done. I find even doing one thing gives me a sense of achievement when I feel like that.
    Love
    Hileena
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh DD....forgot to say,
    I was at a course last week and he talked about fillers and drainers :?
    Basically its pacing yourself {we know all about that but whether we do it or not is a different matter :lol: }
    This was a different slant on it.
    He drew a square which was supposed to be a body and then drew arrows going into it and at the bottom arrows coming out of it. Fillers and drainers
    Told us to try it and write what the fillers were in our lives.....different for everyone.....like meeting your friend??? and write them at the top and try to do them more often
    Then go to the drainers
    What drains you? Can you get rid of it or some of it?
    Ironing? if that drains you can you get rid of a lot of that? do you really need to iron everything that you do?
    Do you have a negative person that when you come away from seeing them you feel absolutely drained and wishing you hadn't seen them? Do you need to see them as often? That sort of thing.
    We were told to write our own fillers and drainers down on a piece of paper and work on them.....see if we could get more fillers and get rid of some drainers
    Might sound daft but try it :lol:
    Love
    Hileena
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Wise words there, Hileena, and I thank you for them. I know precisely who are my fillers and drainers so I know who to see or ring and who to avoid at all costs! :wink: I think the main trouble was we had been away for a lovely break in North Norfolk but where we stayed was very uncomfortable: we last stayed there three or four years ago and I could cope with it then but this time it was more challenging as I am three or four years further along my arthritis path. :( Then factor in a week of no cooking and minimal cleaning - ah me, what luxury! - and then BANG. Back to reality.

    We have friends coming round on Saturday evening for a meal so that is motivation enough for me to get cracking this week: her house is always immaculate so I hope to emulate that! :wink: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi DD
    I tend to try and do that as well.......have someone coming round who has a house where there is nothing out of place and I think I must have mine like hers. Trying to train myself a bit more...take my own advice about drainers and fillers. :lol:
    I find its not just WHO are the fillers and drainers, its WHAT are they.?

    My house is always clean don't get me wrong but tidy!!!!! :roll: that's a different matter.
    I had the family coming over on Mothers day and Anna {Pauls wife } is very house proud. So when she comes I try to have everything just so!!!!! I had just come back from Belfast on Friday night so not a chance!!!!......I hid a lot of things in cupboards :lol: I took one of your tips as well.....sprayed furniture polish on the radiators :lol::lol:
    Sarah {daughter} whispered to me when she came in with her boyfriend......you didn't have to polish and go mad just for us mam :wink: I told her what I had done and she thought it was a great idea. :D
    I would let Anna think that I had cleaned and polished but if Sarah thought I had been overdoing it she would worry so I told her.

    I was at my Mams last week and we were doing everything for our selves so it wasn't the same shock when we came home as it must have been for you.
    This Sunday we go away with Arthritis care for 5 days......that will be a shock when I get home as well.....all meals served to me, taken on coach tours, entertainment at night etc.

    Have a nice time when your friends come over but don't overdo it beforehand or you'll not enjoy their company

    Love
    Hileena
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    My mum's house is like that. Totally clean and nothing out of place. I tend to go for the more characterful 'lived in' look! I hope you don't overdo it though... It's not that long since you were last cleaning lampshades and I don't want you getting sore for the sake of cleanliness. I'm sure the company and food will be worth more than the squeaky clean. Take it easy DD
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    'Thou shalt not get sore for the sake of cleanliness'. Top of the AC Commandments in my book. Or maybe second to 'Thou shalt take thy meds like a good 'un' :wink: '
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Lampshades are a doddle - well, the ones on table lamps are. Dusting brush attachment on the cylinder vac, switch on and away you go - but I have to be in the mood! Surfaces are damp-dusted to stop the powdery clouds flying around making me sneeze. Since buying the cord-free vac hoovering is a doddle but it's the day-to-day-keeping-on-top-of-things with which I struggle. I am still struggling with motivation so I have, sensibly, come up with a plan.

    Target one, smallish area then task and complete. I will then have a tidier bit to look at and the sense of achievement at not too much physical cost. If I look at the whole picture I sigh, defeated before I've begun, and slump in front of Homes Under the Hammer. NOT GOOD. :lol:

    Today will be my bathroom - sort out the space around the basin (it's a top that runs the whole length of one wall, with cupboards underneath, so plenty of room for mess) then spray the nice cleaning stuff down the toilet and leave with a sense of achievement. Then watch HUtH with a cuppa as a reward. :D DD

    PS tjt? I still agree with you, it's the quickest approach and most effective but cleaning up the mess after . . . . . . ? Hmmm, maybe not but it's a lovely dream.

    PPS Sticky? Wise words as ever but when one is sore to begin with . . . therein lies the rub.
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Deadlines seem to loom before I get anything done nowadays!

    I do find the guilt is the worst thing to deal with.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein