Wonder why the small stuff tips us over the edge?

dibdab

Today I'm left pondering why we can often cope with big life events, but the little disasters seem to knock us off balance so easily. RA is busy rearing it's ugly head, really sore hands and wrists and pain in my feet and ankles are making normal functioning an issue......not so much new there really. Methotrexate helps to control it (along with sulph and plaquinel), but raising the dose has triggered horrible heartburn-cue to add gaviscon and ranitidine to my frighteningly long repeat prescription.

Yesterday I had a lovely day in North Wales with friends from church, but today I'm paying for it big time in pain and fatigue....so in attempting to get the milk out of the fridge for a cuppa I managed to knock over an open tin of sweetcorn which in turn decorated the fridge and freezer, two cupboard doors, the oven door and half of the kitchen floor area :? . So picture the scene when hubby walked in to find me on my knees surrounded by sweetcorn struggling to clear the chaos whilst pathetic tears trickled down my cheeks.....neither elegant nor pretty. Cue stupid question -'what are you doing'....I managed to resist the temptation to hurl the empty tin at him or suggest he used his eyes. Now on a good day I'd have sorted the chaos, mopped the floor and made my cuppa. This morning it just about stopped me in my tracks.

I got sensible and consulted my GP about the heartburn and foot trouble....her none too helpful response was to suggest I contacted rheumatology because it was 'just your arthritis'. Rheumatology gave me a depo jab and ignored the heartburn issue, so I'm no better off today than I was last week when it all got out of control.....and today I decorated my kitchen in vegetables! Here's hoping tomorrow is a better one!

Sorry to whinge, but I really needed to get that off my chest to folks who might understand why spilling sweetcorn is a reason to cry. :oops: Thank you for taking time to read my rambling.

Deb x

LignumVitae

It's always something like that which causes the dam to burst isnt it? At least it wasn't the milk and you could make the brew in the end...it's always the husband who asks the stupid question too isn't it? :roll: At least he didn't offer any sage advice on how to clear it up, mine would have done without a doubt.

Is it worth checking with rheumatology regarding the heartburn? I think I would contact my helpline, get their advice which may well be go back to the GP and then throw the ball back at the GP with the line 'rhuematology says it's your issue to deal with'. I hope somebody helps and that the joints ease up a bit especially if you've had a steroid and upped your doses - lack of improvement from the steroid by now is probably worth checking back with rheumatology too. (((((()))))) let the sweetcorn run free for now

dreamdaisy

it's common sense that the small stuff breaks us. We deal with the big stuff day in and day out and so weaken our paltry reserves of both emotional and physical energy. Himself tonight will have to make do with pork loin and two veg. but there is a choice of desert. At least it's boy food yet again. :roll: I agree that it may be sensible to contact your rheumatology department about the heartburn, I believe in telling everyone everything about what's going on whether they want to know or not.

Men do not cope too well with interpreting emotion which is why, when we are crying, they ask if anything is wrong. They genuinely cannot tell that something is amiss. I would like to apply my favourite T word but even I reckon that's a little unfair. DD

PS. For those who don't know what it is it's twerps.

theresak

It's the straw that breaks the camel's back, isn't it? Things build up and build up, and we handle them by employing stoicism and ingenuity, until finally things spill over and it's too much.


My husband would have asked exactly the same question, bless him.

I hope you can get the heartburn sorted - not nice, and, I think, a GP's problem.

Take care.

Numptydumpty

Yes, I agree!
A couple of days ago a friend came into my kitchen to find me sobbing because I couldn't get the top off a soy sauce bottle. She said " you only had to ask!", yes I know, that's the problem
I hope you get the heartburn sorted soon.
Take care,
Numpty

villier

Sorry you are having a tough time at the moment Deb, hope you can gt the heartburn sorted out soon (((()))) xx

mermaid

It is always the last straw when we drop something and it makes a mess everywhere as it seems to symbolise everything going out of control when we are trying so hard to keep it all together despite severe pain.

Another helpful marital comment - 'you know you can't do it so why do you try? Now I've got to clear up the mess!'

Which is all true but not ready to give up just yet, so accidents will happen :oops:

Do hope you get some help with the heartburn - do you take PPIs and stomach protectors? Even injected steroids can increase sore tummies.
GP should be able to help with this aspect.

Take care and hoping for a better day for you tomorrow. A new day and all that xx

Slosh

Brings to mind that old saying, the straw that breaks the camels back. I think it is because we are so busy holding it together, managing our disease that we are often just not prepared for the unexpected, and it's usually something that we think we should be able to manage.

My usual one is dropping milk bottle tops when unscrewing them or putting them on.

daffy2

It's rotten when that happens isn't it, especially when there's someone around who just doesn't 'get it'. You showed excellent judgement in going for the sweetcorn rather than the milk though, it's not nearly so smelly if bits get where they can't be cleaned up, and at least you could still have a restorative cuppa.

there is a choice of desert.

What was the choice DD? Namib or Sahara perhaps and did he go for Sahara as it's bigger....? (sorry couldn't resist)

Starburst

Well, I see my fellow forum members have already typed the metaphors I was planning to used so virtual hugs are on offer. ((((Deb))))

My tipping point is usually when I am attempting to open tins with my faulty tip opener. You know, sometimes I think a good cry is needed. You get it all out and then you can move on. Also, those who struggle with the small events tend to be the ones with the most emotional strength. After all, it helps us cope with the big struggles that we face.

Take it easy and be kind to yourself.

stickywicket

Why? Because our balance, on that edge, is very precarious to begin with. We cope with the big stuff because we have to and are used to it but when an innocuous-looking tin of sweetcorn turns vicious on us we have few resources left to cope with it.

On a more serious note, why are you on ranitidine and not lansop, omep etc? I only ask because I was on it for years after NSAIDS had done for my stomach until things took a turn for the worse and then I was put on lansop. So, rightly or wrongly, I assume lansop and omep are stronger or better.

dibdab

Thank you all for the understanding.........I knew I could rely on you!

Happily today is more balanced and less pain ridden, maybe the steroid jab is doing its stuff. I suspect that sometimes I don't realise quite how much just coping day to day takes out of me, and yes, it's not surprising when it all falls to bits.

SW......I'm not sure why ranitidine not other stuff, but this is a relatively recent development so maybe the GP is starting small so there's somewhere to progress :? At the GP's recommendation I rang rheumy helpline to ask about dosage etc, but the nurse I spoke to seemed wholly uninterested in my digestive struggles........she even suggested upping the meth again to damp down the RA....needless to say I declined. :shock: My usual GP is on away from the surgery for several weeks just now, so I think I might just do my best to cope with ranitidine and gaviscon, and make an appointment to see her when she returns....she is usually really good at listening, explaining stuff and discussing options.

Deb xx

bubbadog

I also agree Deb, I've been dealing with my flare fine but the fatigue is knocking me for six.

DebraKelly

Look I cried the other day, when I bent down and couldn't pick something up off the floor.

So don't worry about it, well have moment and its us really frustated from time to time. :bouncing-ball:

eminel

A good cry does us the world of good. Gets all the pent up frustration out. I wanted to cry yesterday myself but it was too painful to even cry I've had a hell of a few days with my oa.

dibdab

Happily I seem to be on a more even keel now, hope you both feel better soon. xxx

dreamdaisy

That's very good news, dibdab, I hope things continue to improve. DD

dibdab

Thanks DD.......coming to the conclusion that I have to take 1 day at a time and enjoy the best bits whilst trying to hold the rubbish in perspective, though I don't always succeed! :oops:

Sarahd1609

I'd be more worried if you didn't have here to vent off with like minded people. With arthritis I think we all become so hardened to the fact we have to keep going that the big things don't phase us as much. I understand your frustration with the sweetorn. I did the same with a jar of coffee, breaking 2 mugs in the process and I started bawling like a baby because it is when you realise the little things are harder that it becomes more frustrating. I'm glad you feel better now as this is too much to take on times but a good vent and time to realise in the grand scheme of life spilt coffee, sweet corn etc is only a small issue but a frustrating one at that xxxxx

dreamdaisy

One day at a time is the way to go but even that can be too much at times. I struggle with recognising the better bits - they are probably more common than I feel they are. DD

dibdab

DD I really sympathise with the struggle to recognise the better bits, the constant grind of arthritis, of whatever complexion, is so all consuming it can be hard to see past it. I often say to my OH that I'd like just one day to wake up without some part of me hurting, aching, sore, stiff etc..... , you'd think we'd get used to it but I haven't!