Some help please.. I'm begging

Witcombed1 Member Posts: 13
Hi all I have done a few posts but nothing much just need help if you can goes some stats

Names David

Male 33
Ra knees ,feet , hands
Taking .methotrexate injections 17.5 ,sulfasalazine
Painkillers. tranadol er , tramadol 50mg ,morphine

Now the moan

I've recently had to leave my job of 9 years because of this p**s poor disease and I'm not a happy chappie .
I am a very upbeat happy guy nothing ever puts me down but lately been a lot different . I'm getting to the point where when people asks I say I'm never going to work again.
Now the problems money and health
I was on £350 a week now I'm on £72 esa no hope of pip they told me that I can walk and I can do this and I can do that.
I'm led down most days as my left knee is full of fluid and my right is just very painful .. Best way to describe it is it feels like my knee cap is being pushed out .

So my question is where do I go from this .its not getting better ,I got no hope for money, my girlfriend is working stupid amounts of hours just to make ends meet.. I feel like a constant waste of human life .
What can I do besides house work (I do this anyway )
I need to get my independence back but how

Sorry for the rant but I'm at my wits end

Cheers David


  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    David, sorry you're in such a low state, it's a difficult situation for you.I'm afraid that I can't help with your query, but just wanted to say hang on in there, people will be along to offer suggestions and support who have experience of these matters, both the financial and the RA - I have OA - but it can be quiet at the weekend, so there may be a bit of a wait for a reply.
  • lulubell69
    lulubell69 Member Posts: 110
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi david, I really feel for you, I'm in a similar situation.
    Im 46 and suffer from severe RA and medically retired two years ago as I could no longer manage work. I also have a 25 year old son with Down's syndrome, autism and adha. My life is a constant battle, everyday is a painful struggle attempting housework, cooking, shopping, caring for my son and fighting fatigue most of the time. Sheer boredom and loneliness can be overwhelming at times, and the monotony of everyday tasks leaves me yearning for a little excitement and social life. I miss work so much, mostly for the social life, as I have no friends now and feel very isolated but I am fortunate to have a lovely husband and two other children.
    If the RA is affecting your physical health then maybe you should try for pip, as most people with RA need some support in everyday tasks but we often don't recognise how much we struggle with. I really don't know how people are expected to live on the pittance the gov gives for those who can't work due to disabilities but it's no wonder many people also suffer from depression also. I am considering doing a few hours voluntary work each week, then if I'm poorly there is no pressure to turn in.
    Sorry I can't offer much advice or support but I wish you well and hope you are feeling better soon. Take care
  • TrishaW
    TrishaW Member Posts: 109
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear David,
    I really feel for you. It can be overwhelming and seem so unfair, and certainly not in your 'life plan'.
    I suggest you visit the CAB for financial advice/benefits advice and support. Also Occupational therapists are good for knowing what will help you physically and also what support/benefits are available (and can write supportive letters)
    Often a multidisiplinary approach is useful -OT, physio, podiatry etc can often help as much (if not more) than your doctor.
    Whilst you are at home personally I find it important to get out every day (even if just for a very short walk round the block), make contact with another human being (even if just a hello to a shop assistant) and achieve something. That can vary from day to day, but even some small task is worth doing. Even eating properly or doing your exercises is an achievement in itself when you are poorly.
    You are so young and I can imagine the frustration but remember you will get some better days. I know there have been days when I felt the future looked bleak, then I'd have much better days and be able to do stuff again, with less pain. I've found going to Mindfulness classes has helped me cope with the bad days and stop catastrophising so much (worrying about the future when no one really knows that, even people without chronic illness/pain)
    You may also find your mood is helped in simple ways -then build on that. for instance, I find 'green' fields and trees and also the sea very uplifting. Also I've joined a singing group (no talent required) and found that gives me a buzz....not for everyone but just an idea of trying something new.
    Remember you are still the same person, just learning to live a bit differently.
    Rant on here if you need to as we all get it :)
    Take care and look after yourself,
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,553
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Some good advice from the others there, David.

    Please excuse me if I'm brief and blunt - in a bit of a rush. You are worried about health and finances. Health - the RA won't go away but what did your MRI show? I ask because I know from your previous posts that you've had knee pain for a long time. I'm wondering if, like many of us on here, you've 'done the double' ie got OA as well as RA. The DMARDS will treat the RA only.

    Pain is the continuo of our lives. We have to learn to live with it and not be scared by it. Personally I'm more scared of the heavy duty pain meds.

    Will you work again? I don't know. Can you re-train? It sounds as if your other half can't continue to work so hard incessantly. Maybe a good chat about finances - what necessary and what's not.

    Finally have a look at AC's Pathway Through Arthritis course. It has lots of very useful ideas.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry, I can't be of much help. I'm still working as a housekeeper. Although I find it difficult sometimes, I do get through the day. I'm not on any meds as my rheumie feels I can navigate through RA with paracetamol at the moment. The others have given you some good information here and I'm sure others will be along soon. Hang on in there.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry I cant offer any advice apart from some people on here have found cab to be helpful when they appeal PIP..I do wish you well and hope things get sorted for you..
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,553
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We're a few days on now, David. How are you feeling?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Did you apply for PIP? If you have been struggling for more than 6 months I would get help to fill out those PIP forms and send them off. You might not get the mobility element if you can walk even a short distance but I'm sure you would get some help with care. It is definitely worth a try.
    You sound very much like I as at the start of RA and it is possible some meds will start to help you. I had the knees drained and given a steroid injection and it helped a lot, not for ever but it was welcome. They tend to start you on the less strong meds, monitor you and then progress to others if you do not show enough or any improvement.
    I do remember thinking that I was never going to get better but I have improved from those early days with the help and support of a lovely rheumatologist and team.

    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein