Seeing it first hand

slomo

Hi everyone,
That's me finished my 1st week back at work after my hols (ok so it's only 3days a week, but 1st week back is always a bit rough). Had a lovely 2weeks touring the Scottish Islands in a small motorhome. Very different holiday from previous times as I couldn't walk very far and couldn't go on nature trails and things like that. Very interesting holiday too though as OH got to see 1st hand and close up how difficult somethings are for me. The fact that the table and chairs were different heights from at home also scuppered my getting dressed plans some days.
I realised by about the 3rd morning that OH hadn't just been lying in bed reading his book but had been watching my curious manoeuvres when getting dressed. He was quite gobsmacked at how difficult I found it to do some simple things like getting my knickers and socks on and off some days and hadn't realised how badly some of the less well maintained roads shook up my whole body.
He was also quite taken aback by how far (how not far) I could walk without getting over tired. One day he had to effectively 'park' me in a hotel with a cup of tea while he went to fetch the motorhome. When I'd said I needed a break we'd gone to a café only to find it was full and the next nearest was a couple of streets away, which was enough to take my knees from the 'amber alert' stage to the 'red' stage.
I think its actually been a bit of an eye-opener for him to see it, and being on holiday meant there were no other distractions and we able to concentrate on each other. Good time had by both of us.
Love is ......helping your OH put her shoes and socks on!

slomo

dibdab

Sounds like a good holiday, and maybe it does no harm for the OH to understand just how tricky and taxing some everyday stuff is in the wonderful world of arthritis. :oops: There have been days when I've struggled with the very basic stuff like fastening my bra......which taxes him incredibly , and he often has to do up my shoes, even the Velcro sort. When the joints are bad my OH frequently has to help me getting in and out of the shower, and he has become reasonably accustomed to our trips out being punctuated with pauses to recuperate, indeed when I start to slow down now he simply looks and asks "is the spoon supply empty".
When I went to New Zealand earlier in the year with our daughter she built in many pauses for a cuppa, having pre-warned by dad that she had to "look after mum and don't let her get worn out"....it did nothing for my pride but was really important in allowing me to see more and do more whilst we were there.

Time to relax now and sleep in your own bed....always the thing I look forward to most after a holiday.

deb xx

theresak

Hi Slomo,

I'm glad you had a lovely holiday - the Scottish Islands are indeed beautiful. I can relate to lots of what you've said about needing help from your OH. We've all been there at one time or another, and none of us find it much fun. It's good that our OHs know how difficult things are at times - my hubby used to gallop along until he realised he was on his own, with me trailing along in the distance.

There have been a few times when I've been 'parked' on a seat until he could bring the car for me. One time in Plockton I was glad of an upturned boat on which to park when my legs gave up.

The one thing I really hate is when OH has to wash my hair for me - most 'invigorating!'

stickywicket

I concur with the others. It's a good thing for them to see for themselves the reality of the day to day difficulties.

I'm glad you had a good holiday in more ways than one, slomo.

dreamdaisy

I know about having trouble with knickers - they are very comfy things to wear but on some days they are not worth the bother: I call those my 'Marilyn' days I agree that it makes a big difference when the 'luxury' of separate areas for domestic stuff is removed, we rented a camper van for Latitude 2012 and I recall watching in sheer admiration as he scaled a ladder to the upper bunk with no difficulty. :shock:

Love is shown in many different ways - I really challenged my marriage when I had a double carpal tunnel operation but we're still together. DD