As stubborn as an ox!

Pear15

Hi,

This is one of the hardest challenges I've had to face, to admit everything is not ok and that maybe getting help isn't a bad thing.

I was 16 when I was involved in a horrific road accident. I suffered injuries to both legs below the knee. Since the accident I've suffered with swelling of the ankles, a lot of pain and at times I'm unable to move my right foot. I always refused pain relief due to my age and after 12 years an xray confirmed arthritis. I've been told by a doctor there is nothing which can done, I don't know what the future holds. This makes acceptance more difficult.

Tomorrow I'm going to my first counselling session, which if I'm honest I'm little nervous about. But its time to face my demons. I just wish I could meet people my age who have experienced the same problems as I. I love my friends and family but no one understand what I've mentally and physically gone through and how the arthritis affects me on a daily basis.

Also one last thing as I'm pouring my heart out. I did have a little cry when I read several posts about shoes you can't wear. I buy I lot of heels which are pretty but have no hope of wearing them. My saviour are the fold up ballet pumps. As for winter boots, don't get me started. More highstreet shops should sell wide fit EEE.
Anyway enough. Rant over.

[Deleted User]

Hi Pear15,

Welcome from all the Mod team, you will find a lovely group of people on here who help each other through all the trials of having arthritis. Because forum members (and us Mods) all have arthritis we know where you are coming from which is great; you can get understanding and support as well as fun and laughter!

Take care
Mod Yx

stickywicket

Hello Pear15 and welcome from me too.

Well, you did it! You admitted all was not well and are about to start counselling. Well done! I do understand the reluctance but I'm sure it will help.

Many, many years ago I was diagnosed with RA at 15. It's hard being so different from your friends at that age. You just want to pretend all is well and do all they are doing. But your body isn't up for it so there's this constant battle going on inside you. Stubbornness will actually get you a long way (sometimes in the wrong direction :roll: ) but I reckon it's better to persist stubbornly than to give in.

However, long term there has to be a better way and I think you've just taken it. Please let us know how the counselling goes and please join us on here anywhere. Living With Arthritis and Chit Chat are the most popular forums.

I can't help on the shoe front. I've had to wear surgical shoes since my early 20s but we have some younger members on here who will empathise on that front.

Pear15

Thank you for the kind response. It's good to know that I'm not alone. I will keep you updated with how this afternoon goes.

barbara12

Hello Pear15
Like SW says you have taken the first step i talking to us..it really does help , you really have gone through the mill with that awful accident,not sure if you have pain relife now but it can help on bad days..has for there is nothing they can do ...who knows in the future..please let us know how you get on at the counseling I am sure this will help you..and also talking to us will...just jump in anywhere the people on here so so lovely..wishing you well with everything...

dreamdaisy

Hello and welcome to the club that no-one wants to join. I began with an auto-immune arthritis when I was 37 and the joint damage that caused has led to osteo. The meds for the former do nothing for the latter and why would they? They are different beasts albeit sharing the same umbrella. I am nineteen years in and occasionally reminisce about the good old days when I just had one or two affected joints - then I come to my senses and plod on.

Stubborness is a good quality until we use it to harm ourselves. I long ago realised that in asking for help I would preserve some of my precious 'energy' for the things I wanted to do rather than wasting it on the things I don't. I have had to make many changes to household things as I've gone along (and I am sure that will continue) but the core of the matter is that I have to make things suit me because life is trundling on regardless of the disease. I count myself fortunate on two fronts, firstly I started this malarkey pretty young so could more easily adapt my thinking and secondly, I had never known truly good health since I was 18 months old this so is just more of the same.

Pain relief is not a miracle but it can help to dull the sharper edges so we can get on. Refusing it is not a badge of honour, far from it, all that means is that you are further limiting yourself. To help friends and family understand (and that's not easy for you or them) is to pass over a couple of articles you can find on the net: The Spoon Theory and There's a Gorilla in my House.

I hope you find the counselling of use but also come and talk to us. We're all in very similar boats and do understand the challenges of living with arthritis. I wish you well. DD

PS The future? No-one knows what it holds, it's an unknown quantity for all.

Boomer13

I can't think of anything to add to dreamdaisy's post. She has summed it all up very well! I will echo her advice on stubbornness: speaking from experience, stubbornness can lead to extreme exhaustion. Best to use it to help yourself, not drive yourself ever harder and, to endure huge amounts of pain. Living with chronic pain exhausts the best and most hardy of us.

Best wishes.

Pear15

Thank you for all the advice it is much needed and appreciated. Therapy was better than expected it, it helped to understand the anxiety. Your body reacts to danger and therefore protects from harm. Which makes sense.

The therapist has recommended myself being officially diagnosed with post traumatic stress. Tomorrow I will book an appointment with the GP where hopefully I can get a referral. I'm also going to ask to see orthopaedic's again to get a clearer idea of what is going on and discuss pain relief.

You know what it's actually a relief to take back control as for so long control was taken away from me.

stickywicket

Well done! You're so right that it's better to take control. We will never have full control and, at times, we have very little indeed but I think you are working at making your life better which is all anyone can do.

I think getting an ortho appointment is a good idea too. You need to know what is going on in order to deal with it. It seems to me you are dealing with things very well right now and I hope you reap the rewards.