The Man, His Wife and the Ketchup

stickywicket

The scene – our kitchen yesterday lunchtime. Mr SW is preparing a bacon sandwich for himself while I deal with the remains of the washing yet to be hung out – a pile of socks which I am pulling into shape and a pile of knickers. I finish the socks as he departs with his sandwich and turn my attention to the knickers only to discover a large blob of ketchup on the top one. I draw my beloved's attention to this with a semi-polite expletive :horror-movie:

“What?”

“You dropped ketchup onto my knickers?”

“I can't have done.”

“Well there's ketchup on my knickers. You've just used it.”

“”But I didn't go that way.”

(We have a small, galley kichen. It's not like Spaghetti Junction. There's only one narrow route from where he was to where he now is.)

“So, explain the ketchup?”

(He appears in the kitchen with an oozing bacon buttie.) “It can't have been me.”

“ No-one has had the ketchup out of the cupboard for 3-4 weeks until you got it out just now.”

He peers at the wet, red, glistening, accusing, blob on the freshly laundered whites. “I don't see how.....”

He never does :roll:

Slosh

What can I say? It's a man thing, like the child who as soon as you beckon them over says "It wasn't me, honest" before you've said anything to them.

barbara12

They are never in the wrong... :roll:

dreamdaisy

It's an unreported but common occurrence: ketchup is known to leap as though there is a magnetic attraction between it and any pale material within reach but only when being operated by the male of the species. They have this uncanny knack . . . .

Mr DD now has an official 'Curry House Cardigan'. It's an old navy blue Weird Fish effort which is rather raggedy so ideal for those turmeric-based stains which he cannot resist. DD

frogmorton

I loved the story Sticky!!!

Mr Frogmorton as just dropped a whole pint of milk on the kitchen floor and the language!

DD I hadn't heard about the tomato sauce and the fabrics (light coloured), but believe you :? honestly....

I rather like the curry-cardy idea very much though.

Only problem is it's me who needs one :oops:

GraceB

SW, sadly this isn't a surprise to me as from what I have seen most men tend to leave a trail behind them even when they make a sandwich. Why is it a female can make a sandwich lunch, clear up and leave no trace and yet most men (please note I say "most"), leave crumbs, used knives, and un-used ingredients behind? And as for making a cuppa - there's always a puddle and a soggy tea-bag!

GraceB

Boomer13

Mr. Nobody did it. He's makes most of the mess in our home :zombie2:

LignumVitae

Mr LV has a special couldn'tpossiblybeme face and tone of voice for these occasions and protests innocence where there clearly cannot be any. It's remarkable.

As a child I did once take a large bottle of ketchup out of a cupboard and shook it really vigorously assuming the lid to be firmly screwed on...my parents weren't impressed at having to clean the ceiling and didn't find the incident half as funny as I did.

tkachev

Yes mine is rather messy when it comes to cooking so splashes the tomato dish, in the pan on the cooker, up the wall tiles but has also been known to splash onto my fresh pile of ironing behind him!

Elizabeth

theresak

I think it`s safe to assume they are all like this. LV made me remember that my OH frequently forgets to put tops on properly, so when the bottle/can etc. is shaken, the contents fly everywhere and we have abstract patterns over every surface.

mig

Mine has some t-shirts he wears at home that he's not allowed to go out in we call them his menu shirts (no explanation needed).I just have to say "oh for goodness sake " and he automatically says" it wasn't me" Mig

daffy2

It may have a lot to do with the famous male focus thing which makes for blissful unawareness of anything not involved with the task in hand. Whether it's anointing food with ketchup, inserting anointed food in mouth, or walking around with said food, the collateral damage from those tasks is irrelevant and therefore un-noticed. I used to dread my ex wanting to do chinese as not only would there be the pots, pans etc to wash up, but the splashbacks, cooker hood filter, cupboard sides, undersides and doors by the cooker and the floor to clean up, which of course he just didn't see, only the lovingly crafted end result. I don't even much like chinese food so perhaps it's just as well it's someone else's problem now....

prefabkid47

Have to respond from the male perspective the comments regarding us spilling ketchup onto clean washing.

No way is this the fault of us males........... :x

The apparent ability of the female of the species to multi task is their downfall...........

If they concentrated on one thing at a time,in this case getting on with the ironing then it wouldn't be laying around and be vulnerable to attack by ketchup............ :!:

It really isn't 'rocket science'..................

stickywicket

So, it would seem, once again, that it doesn't really matter which bloke you end up with - you still land yourself with a ton of unnecessary washing.

Thank you, Ron, for poiting out that this is all our own fault. I would never have seen it from that perspective. (In fact, I still don't ) Have another pint and don't dare spill it

prefabkid47

stickywicket wrote:

So, it would seem, once again, that it doesn't really matter which bloke you end up with - you still land yourself with a ton of unnecessary washing.

Thank you, Ron, for poiting out that this is all our own fault. I would never have seen it from that perspective. (In fact, I still don't ) Have another pint and don't dare spill it

Hi SW
When I have a pint in my hand my mind becomes totally focused and would never spill a drop (especially at todays prices!).
Ron

stickywicket

tkachev

prefabkid47 wrote:

Have to respond from the male perspective the comments regarding us spilling ketchup onto clean washing.

No way is this the fault of us males........... :x

The apparent ability of the female of the species to multi task is their downfall...........

If they concentrated on one thing at a time,in this case getting on with the ironing then it wouldn't be laying around and be vulnerable to attack by ketchup............ :!:

It really isn't 'rocket science'..................

The pile of clothes waiting to be ironed are a permanant feature I'm afraid (its too much hassle to take the ironing board down each time I finish a pile of ironing) but the ironing board is now placed miles away from the cooker just to be on the safe side!

E xx