When you're tired of being positive.

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Starburst
Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
edited 14. Nov 2015, 21:41 in Living with Arthritis archive
I don't want people to tell me I'm doing well or that I fight hard for what I want/need or that I am a positive person. I want to curl up into a little ball and hide away until I feel better, both physically and mentally. I know "this, too, shall pass" but until then, can I stop the world?

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  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Starburst I know exactly what you mean and I'm sure I won't be the only one. Mind you, you did forget, "you're so brave", and "you're looking well". I think it comes from embarrassment and not knowing what to say. I find children are much more honest. One recently asked me when my leg will get better so I explained it wasn't broken and wouldn't get better. He just looked at me and replied "That's sad", to which I replied yes it is.
    I sometimes feel like having a bit of a toddler temper tantrum.

    I have a couple of great mugs for work, one says

    "My chronic disease must be doing wonders for my appearance, everyone keeps telling me how well I look."

    And the other

    "Be patient with me today. I am hurting a lot."
    I got them from a company called Zazzle, have a look as they have some great things. In the meantime it's the weekend so curl up, wrap yourself in your duvet and hibernate.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • emmaadams
    emmaadams Member Posts: 140
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    i hope you have a good weekend curled up in bed. nothing is better than not having to go anywhere and just locking yourself away for a few days .. enjoy !! :) im sure world wouldn't mind stopping for a few days if not just ignore the phone and the door .. im sure if anyone needs you they can get by for the weekend .xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think stopping being positive for a while is a very good thing. For starters it's hard enough being positive when everything is going well because you know that will end, then it becomes extra hard work to be cheery when things are all going against you be it health, work, friends, family or just life in general. Go and sit for a while in the shallow end of the POSP (pool of self-pity) and have a good old sulk - it's therapeutic. ((( ))) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I agree with DD - sometimes you just have to drop the 'being positive' and allow yourself a good old wallow. We spend so much time and effort presenting a nice bright front to people who have no idea how we really feel that now and again we simply have to have a rest from it.

    Be kind to yourself.
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Starburst;

    I was so happy to see this post today. I get completely fed up with being positive. It feels like a straight jacket sometimes. I'm in an extended under-the-duvet period right now. I just had to "give up" for awhile.

    "Be kind to yourself" is excellent advice.
    Hope you feel better soon.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Starburst,

    I really hope that you're having a thoroughly self indulgent weekend, lots of duvet time and nice things that cheer you up a bit. Just wanted to send some understanding and hugs ((((((( )))))))). Maybe it's time to tell people just how vulnerable and over stretched you really are feeling so they can begin to understand just a fraction of how hard it is to walk in your shoes.

    Deb xx
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    How are you today?
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    As DD says being positive is hard work and there are times when frankly it's not the best use of scarce energy. The need to curl up and just let the world get on without me I have come to refer to as dormouse therapy. I do hope you soon start to feel better in yourself, even if being positive, capable Sophie has to wait a while.
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I do like your idea of "Dormouse therapy", something we all need at times.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all for your kind and helpful words. I'd like to be able to reply with something meaningful but I am currently in zombie state.
    :zombie2:
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,715
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'd like to help with something meaningful as well, Sophie but I can't. Sometimes we are just wading through treacle and the uncaring world keeps turning with or without us. Sooner or later we manage to clamber back on again. I wish you 'sooner' but take as long as you need. It will happen.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Been thinking about you and wondering how you are getting on this week. Are you still in full "Zombie" mode or is it starting to recede into the background? Friday again so I hope you are able to have another restful/peaceful weekend.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I hope things are slowly on the way up for you, if not I hope you have a restful weekend and stay wrapped up and snuggled.
  • Shazza1205
    Shazza1205 Member Posts: 3
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am feeling like this more & more, thing is I have had RA since I was 4 years old, I am now 29 but for some reason it is getting me down more now. Thing is I don't like to complain but feel like no one around me understands what it is like living with it everyday.
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you for checking in on me. I'm up and down really; fatigue is stopping me from doing much but I'm feeling emotionally stronger. It doesn't help that the Winter crisis has kicked in at work and I'm running around like a headless chicken.
  • As5567
    As5567 Member Posts: 665
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Glad to hear you're beginning to feel slightly stronger.

    I'm sure things will improve for you eventually, take things easy!
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