Recycling happy memories

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LignumVitae
LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
edited 14. Dec 2015, 11:06 in Living with Arthritis archive
I recently took the sensible but not so happy decision to ebay the majority of my delicious but ridiculous shoe collection. I used to love tottering around in those heels but sadly, arthritis means I get to not so love tottering around without heels these days. I was known for my heels, these were outlandish and colourful beasts, people would anticipate not my outfits but my shoes when I attended things like weddings or parties. Not for me the fashion for those beige coloured heels. Mine were pink, had frogs on, sparkled, had strange heels, fastened with velvet ribbons, were covered in graffiti. They had to go though and they earned a fair price because although worn their unusualness was eye catching a and they had been very well cared for. I bid them farewell, I will admit I did shed a tear as I packaged them lovingly up. I wasn't just getting rid of the heels but I was also bidding farewell to my ability to wear them and the lie I had been telling myself that one day I would wear them again.

Whilst browsing the other categories on ebay I found children's clothes, including clothes that would be ridiculously expensive, have been worn for 'best' a few times and are now being sold at a fraction of their price. I bid and won some absolutely gorgeous items which, as new items I would never have been able to afford for the girls. I grew up with hand me downs and I have a fine washing machine so that they have graced another child's body didn't bother me much and the girls will love them.

So there you go, we often hear on here about people being sad about the things they lose to arthritis and letting go of the past they knew and the future they thought they had. Maybe we need to find ways of recycling those happy memories into new ones because I'm pretty sure that the dresses and coats will be worn over Christmas and laughs will be had in them and I will look back in years to come at those photographs with much more love than I would at a lot of shoes gathering dust on a shelf. We might not live as we expected to live when arthritis comes to call but that doesn't mean to say we can't still be as happy and fufilled if we look for different ways to find those things and let go of what we can't have.

I did keep my wedding shoes and my beloved Jimmy Choos. Even if I won't be marching along in them I can still put them on and watch TV if I want to :D
Hey little fighter, things will get brighter

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  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    LV what a wonderful post. I think we all have things from our "previous existence " we struggle to say goodbye to. I still have bags and bags of fabrics and threads from my patchwork and quilting days, all packed away and sorted but I keep finding excuses not to sell. I think it will have to be my new years resolution.

    Making new memories and good ones is the way forward, as is making new friends, including on-line ones. I'm really looking forward to Christmas day as for the first time since they moved out nearly 4 years ago I am going to be spending it with my daughter and her family at their home, definitely some new memories.

    Well done on selling your shoes, and just think as well of the joy, and the chances to make new memories that you have given to others...and I'm sure your two girls will look adorable in their new clothes.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I love your post LV - you approach everything with such a positive attitude which I so admire.

    I never hankered after fashion shoes, but there are things I`ve had to get rid of which I mourned a little bit at the time, but of course I still retain the memories. I hated getting rid of all my knitting patterns and needles etc., but they went to a good home. Foolishly perhaps, I kept my last bought, and most expensive tennis racket - don`t ask me why! One of my grandsons may play with it one day.

    I have to admit to never investigating ebay - but I`m glad you found some bargains, and I`m sure your girls will look beautiful, and bring you much pleasure.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you for such an upbeat and uplifting post LV. I think we can all resonate with the 'giving up' of stuff that mattered to us.
    Like Theresak I gave up on my knitting, but have recently discovered the joys of using wooden knitting needles and using just chunky wool for hats and small soft toys I've rediscovered the satisfaction of making things that others enjoy, so I'd encourage folks to maybe not give up on things they really enjoy, but rather look for different ways of finding the satisfaction involved..........a good quality food processor has enabled me to get back to baking, another great stress buster for me, with the added bonus of something yummy to share at the end.

    Arthritis can rob us of so much, lost pleasures and joys alongside the freedom of movement and freedom from pain, but isn't it so good when we find ways round or alternative activities. I always dreamed of learning to play keyboards when I retires, but painful and swollen fingers put a lid on that dream, or so I thought until a lovely young man who is an accomplished musician spent some time introducing me to his beloved keyboard, and because he has endless patience, and a wife with PsA who has given him insight into what I might be able to do, he's opened the door to that dream just a chink, and promised to teach me to play, taking it as slowly as I need to. I can't tell you how much his kindness has lightened my mood and made me smile....and whilst I may never be accomplished hopefully I'll learn enough to be able to enjoy music making.......co-incidentally he's now teaching his wife, an accomplished trumpeter and pianist who can't manage either instrument now, to play the ukulele because it's small and light and she just wants to have the satisfaction of being able to make music again.

    LV, I hope your lovely girls really enjoy their new clothes, and you get some super memories to share as they have fun wearing them.

    Deb x
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm glad you mentioned the food processor, Deb, as my daughter-in-law enlightened me as to all the things it can do, and now I get a lot of pleasure from baking, not just for us, but other people too.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    May I add my thanks too? To LV especially for making us all focus on the positive but also to the rest of you who so willingly join in.

    I've long maintained that arthritis makes us inventive and creative and finding ways round doing things is always good. But it's also good to know when we're flogging a dead horse and to let go of the stuff which is no longer of use to us and will only serve to elicit negative thoughts and feelings. How much better to let someone else enjoy them.

    (Mr SW has elicited a few negative thoughts today but I think I'll hang on to him a bit longer. I want to know where LV's going to attach the sequins :wink: )
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    What a absolutely brilliant post LV..and a lovely way to look at things...and I bet the girls will look stunning in there new clothes..and you in your Jimmy Choos..such lovely memories will be made... :D:D
    Love
    Barbara
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    The last time I wore heeled shoes was I was working! I do miss the fancy styles and looking taller! Flat shoes don't have fancy designs so I have to look for different designs that stand out.
    But yes when I cleared out my heeled shoes they did have a lot of good memories attached to each pair.
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have some very pretty flats from D Perkins, mock suede with beads that get lots of compliments and it's worth looking at Clarks.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all for joining in. I'm glad we have so many ways to be inventive and finding new happiness where we can.

    Asd for flat shoes not being as interesting, although they aren't as interesting I don't think my rainbow down boots lack the eye catch factor, or my patent red slip ons with huge blue plastic bows...they just aren't as playful as most of my heels were!
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter