I don't know what to do. Worried.

Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
edited 26. Jan 2016, 14:18 in Living with Arthritis archive
So far this year I have had an OH review, an orths review and today I have a PIP assessment as part of the unplanned intervention process.
Last week I was in severe pain at school and had colleagues telling me to take time off. I didn't because I haven't had my follow up HR sickness review meeting yet and so I don't know what my targets are and so I'm scared stiff that if I take a day off I will be taken to the formal stage. Not knowng this is a real worry and is just adding to my stress. I usually keep Tuesday free so rest up before work but today and last week this hasn't been possible.
Yesterday I was due to visit my daughter but had to cancel as even after a quiet weekend I suddenly felt yesterday as though a steamroller had run me over. I don't feel much better today, I couldn't face a shower due to fatigue and pain. I know it will mean I am at my worst for my assessment but I am just really worried about tomorrow and work.
I've also been having some pressure put on me by my OH (some of you may remember that we are separated ) which probably doesn't help.
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich


  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh, sounds like you've got a lot of stress and worry on your plate at the moment. I'm sure you know it often exacerbates your physical health when there are life challenges. One thing I've learned since being a busy working arthritis is that you have to selfish and put yourself first. I'm going to hazard a guess and say that this is something that you're not used to?

    I'm not suggesting that this will make your worries and your pain go away but have you tried any relaxation/meditation apps or similar? I find them quite helpful for clearing my mind and it encourages me to think things through calmly.

    I think you're in a harder position as you work at a school and obviously, cannot just take annual leave. I've taken leave at short notice when I've had a bad run but obviously this is also dependent on the sector you work in. Sometimes, I push myself a bit in the morning with a clear promise that I will go home if I am struggling within a few hours. Is this something that would be an option for you? I feel better if I show my face as I feel I have tried everything.

    I know you're in a tough position with work and the worry of formalising things must seem scary.

    Take care of yourself.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh dear Slosh that does sound worrying. That sudden overwhelming fatigue sounds very like a flare kicking in....I wonder whether it's worth dropping by the GP and asking for advice. I understand your concerns about the HR situation, but you really can't be at work if you're so flattened just resting at home. Maybe Starburst's suggestion about getting in there then heading home if you really can't manage is worth considering, I know I did it a couple of times before taking early retirement, when the Headteacher saw how much I was struggling she suggested home was the place to be, and it used to mean that it wasn't recorded as a day of sickness leave. Do you think you would manage to actually get in to work as you are, or will the journey prove too tiring?

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Of course you are worried, who wouldn't be? Many of us on here know and understand that our conditions thrive on stress and you have a great deal of that going on at the moment. I think the key thing here is the PIP assessment because on that hangs a great deal: if you are successful in your claim then maybe that little extra monthly income will remove some of the pressure of needing to work but hey, what the heck do I know? I freely admit I am currently nicely cushioned against the financial realities of life but I battled on, for around three years too many, because I felt I should. And maybe because I wasn't ready to accept that final change to all that I had planned (which wasn't much, just little things like doing ballroom dancing and finally learning to turn a cartwheel).

    I began my self-employment in 1995 and the arthritis began in 1997 (when I was 38). I retired aged 53, during which time things deteriorated at a steady rate. I remember when I first joined here (in whenever it was) asking for it all to happen at once so I could make better plans - and the very patient replies I received from those who were far better in the know. There's little doubt that we feel we're losing an important part of our identity if we are not able to work, like you I had a job I both enjoyed, loved and didn't want to stop.

    The most important thing is for us to preserve what we can of our health because the world (unsurprisingly) carries on turning without our input. I still think there's a consultancy role for you but that is a daunting prospect; I know because I was there, once. I officially began on the second Monday in January 1995 and my first ad. went into the local paper the following Thursday. I woke up that Thursday thinking 'Here goes nothing' and by mid-day had 12 clients. My little business was never a rip-roaring success in some people's terms but I was more than happy with it - and the writing off of some household expenses against tax was always welcome.

    I have no wise words, I cannot give any practical help but I think you will come through this more than OK. You've proved yourself over and over again in the past two-three years whereas I had years to adjust - you, my lovely, have not been granted that 'luxury'. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well, I got there, a nice parking warden let me park in a pay bay, only to find it was cancelled! They did say they had tried to phone but the phone hasn't rung all day. Still I was too upset to argue about it. The receptionist was lovely and not only rearranged my appointment for a couple of weeks time but offered to get me a taxi from home to the centre, I explained it was a work day and as I work in the same area as the assessment centre I would park there and then get a cab, and so payment for that has been authorised.

    In one way it's a good thing as it will give me time to see my GP next Monday and get a letter from him.
    I'm trying to get something for mobility as I already get standard rate for daily living.
    The whole thing only took about 50 minutes.
    I do have a couple of days when I'm not teaching to the end of the day, and one day when I start teaching mid morning so it might be worth exploring that.
    Sorry for the panic/scared message, things just got on top of me, work tomorrow and I'm going to contact HR and ask when the review will be as it is putting me under stress and copy my union into that.
    Once again thank you all, how would I cope without you all?
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,732
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm glad a rather nasty day is all but over for you, Slosh. I hope you can relax a bit now with whatever helps. Good luck for next time.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • slomo
    slomo Member Posts: 180
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I wish I had a magic wand for you Slosh, you're really having a hard time just now.
    I think it would be a good idea for you to pressurise HR a bit for your info. They're not exactly making it a stress less process for you.

    Thinking of you and sending calming and positive thoughts your way.