Contented

Slosh

Two years post surgery and nearly three years since diagnosis I am enjoying the feeling of having got back to an overall feeling of contentment with life. I am not naive enough to think this means the end of bad days but for the past few weeks things have felt better. It's not been always easy but it has helped immensely having the support of all thefriends I have made on here. There have been losses along the way, not just physical, but of loved hobbies, my marriage, my relationship with my sister and the loss of some friends. It's meant a change in role, and reduced hours at work, and a lot of adjusments.
But...
The realtionship with my daughter is stronger than ever and working part time means I get to see her at least once a fortnight. I have good friends, and have made more who care about me but see me first and my disability second.I work in a supportive environment where I can do a good job and feel valued. I have an understanding GP and a consultant who thinks outside of his speciality. I have learnt that it's ok to ask for help, and to accept offers of help gracefully, most of the time at least.
I know that one of my pain relief meds also acts as a mild antidepressant which helps.
I still try to take each day as it comes and not worry about the future but that doesn't always work. I still swear in frustration and pain. I still sometimes envy friends who can do so much more than me and if I was told tomorrow there was something that could "cure" me I wouldn't say no.
But, at present I feel content.

theresak

What a lovely post, Slosh - contentment is a word much under-rated. We all walk a bumpy road every so often, but like you, we have to make adjustments and do as best we can.

I wish you a long 'contentment.'

stickywicket

Contentment is a very precious commodity for anyone but, given what you have been through and that you are aware the struggle is ongoing, I think it's even more valuable for you. I also think, however, that feeling contentment, in your far from ideal circumstances, involves a determined mindset to look on the bright side and count your blessings. That you have maintained / achieved such a mindset says a great deal about you, Slosh. No, I'm sure you didn't start this thread as a means of fishing for compliments but you're going to have to accept them anyway Well done and I hope it lasts a long time.

barbara12

I love the word contentment, it goes to show how far you have come slosh..like you say there will always be down days bit with friends and family and such a positive attitude you will be ok..

dreamdaisy

Any fool can be happy but contentment is far harder to achieve because it takes more effort.

There is no doubt that your life has changed beyond all recognition and I can only applaud the courage and grace you have shown since joining our creaky community. You have fought, lost ground, fought again and are coming through the other side. We're still with you and always will be. DD

Slosh

I don't quite know how to reply, but I will accept the compliments although I do feel that external things have helped like going part time and enjoying what I'm doing, getting my HR worries sorted, and with my new PIP award lasting for 6 years a feeling of stability.

I just feel like "me" again now.

stickywicket

I'm smiling as I type. You see no need for compliments but you must remember that dealing with all horrible, prolonged mess of going part time and getting the HR and PIP sorted is what has led to the contentment. In other words you have got what you deserved. Indeed, you've earned it. A lesser person would have given up.

Slosh

Sticky, you have put a smile on my face and made me laugh, which at the end of a day at work isn't easy!