at the end of my tether.

nearlybionic

Hi
I just need to write this stuff down, as my head is full of negativity and sadness.
I am struggling with my pain levels, and my body letting me down. I have had a bad experience with the pain consultant, and my GP has written to me asking me to put it in writing. I think this was the start of my confidence and self esteem taking a dive. My GP is great.
I had an MRI last weekend and was due to see the orthopaedic consultant on Thursday for results and to discuss what next. I got there and found he was not in clinic and I had to see the registrar. Now I have no problem seeing the Reg, but from experience I know they won`t make a decision about me without running it by the boss. So although he has offered an injection in theatre into my outer hip, it is not going to help my awful back issues. So I felt upset.
Work is awful. Lots of rubbish work politics are making me want to leave a job I loved. Also I am physically struggling to keep going there. (but I am stubborn and lie about how I am coping) I applied for a new role, got an interview which went well but someone beat me to the post. I got great feedback, in fact nothing I should improve on which is hard to understand why I didn't get it. (I am suspicious that my disability may have played a part but of course can`t prove it or anything)
I am feeling quite low in mood and am crying at the drop of a hat.
I have made a GP appointment, but not with the one I would like to see as he is always booked up. I will try to get an on the day appointment with him though. I haven`t felt this sad and unable to cope for years.
My good GP has done a medication review, and added Tramadol again to my other many pills. It helped a bit at first but now not so much He said I could try patches next, as I don`t want morphine as I need to work. Any advice re patches??
Sorry to go on, but I needed to let it out a bit.
Thanks if you have read this far x
NB

Slosh

So sorry to read this NB, it does sound like a "perfect storm" and I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed by it all, any one of those things is enough to have deal with let alone so much all at once.

Wish I had some helpful words for you, all I can say is I'll be thinking of you and hope everything gradually starts to improve and get sorted out.

Megrose2

Very sorry to hear that things are so difficult at the moment, NB. I hope you manage to see your good GP on the day and he is able to help.

I hope that things improve for you soon. Be kind to yourself.

Meg

barbara12

Hello NB I am so glad you have got all that out, its horrible when you hold things in..I know how you have struggled since your last THR and your back..very similar here so I really do feel for you...has for the pain clinic they told me to get this other hip done and my back would right itself..not on X ray it wont ...they just seen to have there heads in the clouds...I do hope you can get to see the ortho very soon and they can help that pain...(()) xx

[Deleted User]

Hi NB,

I'm so sorry, my Mum just had a rough appt at glaucoma visit. Started badly when the screen said no consultants were present. She talked to the nurse who said she could write on her notes that Mum needs to see her consultant next visit. Could you ring up your ortho secretary to ask for your next appt to be with your consultant? I know it's not immediate but could help you feel a bit more positive.

I don't know if you've been in touch with helplines here at AC before but they know a lot about meds, working with conditions and feeling depressed or low.

Thinking of you (((((())))))
Mod Yvonne x

nearlybionic

Hi
Thanks Slosh, Megrose, Barbara, and Yvonne, for taking time to read and reply.It means a lot.x
I have used the Helpline in the past, but thanks for reminding me, I may take you up on the offer. I am thinking of ringing the secretary or the Arthroplasty nurse to ask if I can see the consultant next time and also if he will look at my MRI and see what he thinks.
Barbara, I hope you are feeling ok today and are enjoying a bit of rare sunshine x
I have been struggling with all of this for a while now, and I think there is only so much one can put up with before it becomes unbearable any more.
Not slept much, pain and anxiety stopped that for me.
Not looking forward to work tomorrow. But will go.
Thanks again
NB

dibdab

Really sorry to hear that things are so rough for you just now NB. Sometimes it all just feels too much to cope with.

Maybe I can offer some reassurance re pain patches. I've been struggling with diabolical hip pain for months and getting very little sleep, like you I have one GP that I trust more than the rest in the practise, and she suggested I gave the patches a try since the cocos and naproxen weren't touching the pain. I was hugely reluctant to try them having read the endless list of side effects, and for 6 months left them in the draw while I struggled on. Eventually rock bottom arrived and after another tearful visit to the GP I agreed to give the a try....so here I am 2 months in wondering why I waited so long. The pain is much better, still there but not so grindingly awful, I sleep very much better and can therefore cope better with the pain in the daytime. I admit that I get sleepy in the daytime, and have relinquished all the driving to hubby as a result...other than that I haven't noticed any other downsides. As a bonus the better sleep has made my blood pressure better . Other manifestations of my RA are grinding me down, but sleeping better with the pain more controlled has been a relief and I feel sorry that I didn't trust the GP enough to try sooner.

I hope you get some more positive help soon.

Deb x

bubbadog

I'm sorry your feeling so low at the moment, maybe it must be something in the water as a few of us are feeling pretty low at the moment!! What dibdab mentioned about the pain patches might be worth trying and that may help with the pain, as they say nothing ventured nothing gained! If you ever wanna talk just text me if you still have my number!!

nearlybionic

Hi
thanks Dibdab and Bubbadog
I spoke to my preferred GP last night and we had a talk and we decided that I will try an increased dose of Tramadol before trying something else new. I told him that initially I felt the Tramadol did ease things a little, so that is why we have decided to up the dose . I had a slightly better night`s sleep last night, and am day off today. (maybe that is why I slept as not worrying about going to work??)
I still feel tearful at times but don`t want antidepressants on top of all my other pills. I do worry about all the stuff I put into my body!
I have lost a little bit of weight, as my appetite has dropped, but this is not a bad thing as I did put a little on after my fall. Tramadol always seems to affect my appetite, not sure if anyone else has had this?
thanks for your replies xx
NB

Slosh

I hope the increased dose of tramadol works for you and I'm glad you had a better nights sleep as that always helps. Really hope things start to settle down/improve soon for you

barbara12

Hello NB
I didnt get on with tramadol, so I have the butran pain patches and cocos in case I need them and the pregabalin for my my back, have you tried this it does seem to help relax the muscles..and of course the amys at night...maybe you need to go over the meds and change things..so ask your GP what they think..its rotten when you are in pain most of the time no wounder you are teary xx