Trying to stay positive

As5567 Member Posts: 665
edited 23. Apr 2016, 08:50 in Living with Arthritis archive
The last couple of day's I've been reflecting on the last 2 years. I have gone from being totally dependant living a "normal" life. I was at university, had my own car, able to go on weekend trips with friends etc etc. Now after almost 2 years exactly I'm stuck in bed recovering from an operation, I've had my driving licence suspended, my car is gone, I'm totally dependant on other people and unable to walk. All because I was forced to change Rheumatologist (It's a long story)

I am positive most of the time, or at least try to be but I am finding it really hard at the moment, especially on days when it's sunny outside and everyone is out taking advantage of the weather and I'm stuck in bed. I've not had any form Arthritis drugs in over 8 months now and my body is in a constant flare, I MIGHT be able to start back on a TNF drug soon which would be a great help but there is no guarantee that the doctors will allow me to start treatment if they are not all in agreement.

I'm also currently going through a legal case against my old doctor which is very stressful in its self and I often find myself wound up and angry when reflecting on things that has gone wrong. I know I can't change the passed but its easier said than done to not get angry when you have too much time to think.

I really hope my luck changes soon and I can get some sort of life back, just feels like I'm in a never ending battle.


  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,686
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I remember that you had an extremely tough time when you changed PCTs. I also recall a horrific spinal(?) problem. If you are currently recovering from an op, with no DMARDS, anti-tnfs or even steroids, no wonder you are feeling despondent with too much time in which to think and not enough opportunities to be active in even minimal ways.

    The legal case, too, will force you into thinking of past hurts and wrongs which will only add to your stress and unhappiness.

    I wish I had some suggestions to offer but all I can think of is my usual favourite – distraction. I use it a lot when in a lot of pain / after operations etc. Virtually anything that makes me concentrate on other stuff. I go from computer games to reading to watching TV, talking with friends (either those with me or by phone or skype). I force myself to do exercises and give myself little projects to do and targets to aim for.

    It can still be all too easy to focus on the negative. In fact, because, in such circumstances, the mind works rather oddly, it can almost seem like a dereliction of duty NOT to focus on the negative but, as long as we recognise those thoughts as being unhelpful and not conducive to regaining our independence (even if that is limited) we will keep heading in the right direction.

    What sort of things do you still enjoy despite your current limitations?
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time - which is perfectly understandable in the circumstances. You have so many things going on that you'd have to be superhuman to feel positive.

    I wish I had some words to help, but we all just plod on trying to get to grips with various meds, pain levels, stresses and strains and ordinary every day living.

    Loss of independence hits really hard, and sometimes I struggle with that myself, but I do agree with Sticky's 'distraction therapy.' I've always been able to 'lose myself' in a book ora word game or even a jigsaw - which I do on the iPad. I tell myself that I'm keeping my brain active and refuse to feel guilty. I do try to keep physically fit in a limited way.

    I really hope your situation takes a turn for the better soon.

    Text x