Can't face going back to GP

Polly1977

I know this sounds silly but I'm at a loss as to what to do. I had been struggling physically and increasingly mentally to cope with constant pain, reduced mobility and generally the increased hassle of doing/planning as a result of my RA and fibro. I'm on various medications and pain killers that dull the pain and symtoms to a degree but they leave me feeling unwell, tired and confused. I was exhausted just making it through the day (I have 3 young children and work 3 days per week).

After spending weeks, maybe even months feeling depressed and powerless I plucked up the courage to go to my GP and ask for help. I wrote out a list of things I was struggling with, how depressed I was feeling etc. I expected some empathy but received quite the opposite. When in floods of tears I tried to open up she started lecturing me on how I don't go swimming enough. She told me I needed to do more, go for walks/take up cycling. These are things I would love to be able to do but because of a flare in my ra/fibro I'm struggling with. I have put a bit of weight on I admit but given that I couldn't even physically put a pair of trainers on myself at the moment it's not likely.

She then went on to give me a lecture on the food I feed my children. All of whom eat extremely healthily, are the exact weight they should be for their age and height. She ignored the facts she knew about my children and made assumptions based on the food choices I make for myself....not my children!!

For at least a week after this appointment I cried constantly and struggled to sleep or leave the house. My pains are getting worse and I very down but am terrified to return to my GP.

Has any body had a similar experience? What did you do?

mig

Hello Polly ,Im so sorry that you have had such a bad experience with your Dr is it not possible to change ? or take someone with you for support,on here we have something we call "pocket duties "where as if any of us have any sort of appointments or tests that we are feeling nervous about we ask for pocket duties where folk can mentally jump in and they are there for company and bravery should it be needed,it might sound a little crazy but it works,the good folk on the helpline will help as well,sending you some hugs (((()))) Mig

dreamdaisy

I often say that GPs know a little about a lot and they do because that is their role. Yours, however, seems to be particularly dense about the challenges of living with two long-term conditions: her ignorance is upsetting but I am not surprised by the response, many people on here have had similar heartless responses to their troubles.

I plunged into depression when my OA was diagnosed in 2011 and went to see my GP who was very relieved that I was finally asking for anti-depressants. To this day I still take a small daily dose because they do help me cope better (and I don't have anything like the demands you face). I can understand why you don't want to go back, if you have other GPs in the practice could you see another? I know it is difficult to 'fight back' when one is low to begin with but I think that a letter of complaint about this particular doctor to the Practice Manager would not go amiss. DD

bubbadog

I went through a similar problem with the 1st G.P I was under, he told me to 'get off my **** and buy a dog and walk it regularly!!' which in my condition was pretty helpless! I made a complaint to the practice manager and changed to a different G.P in the practice who I'm still with today, she actually started with a clean slate and organised scans and tests and I'm here today knowing what's wrong and on meds that make a difference. So starting afresh is sometimes a good thing! Hope you can start afresh with a new G.P and get to a better place.

LignumVitae

That sounds like a horrendous situation. Some GPs are brilliant but some are dreadful. I have one at my practice who I avoid. He is supposed to have an interest in rheumatology and from experience that makes him more dangerous than the ones who don't have an interest.

You know what you feed your children so ignore all of that part of the discussion and let it go. I have two children, arthritis and two part time jobs so I understand the pressure you are under and how hard it can be. I had a more gentle version of your discussion with my consultant at the start of the year and she told me I had to take more time out for myself to get some exercise. At first I reacted in a similar way to you and felt upset. Then I chatted with my best friend and cousin who is a personal trainer and between us we worked out a few gentle exercises I could do at home. I started tentatively and they hurt but I kept at it and I now do gentle yoga most evenings. I vary my practice in accordance with how rubbish I feel but I make sure I get at least ten minutes in. I find it has made a huge difference, not to the arthritis and rubbish body, but to my mind. I feel so much better. Is there a chance you could do something like that? I know it is difficult but a bit of exercise may actually help with the pain and mental stress. Giving yourself just ten minutes to do something you can manage might boost you more than you think. There are exercises in the exercise booklet which is available on this site (I think it is in the Managing Arthritis section). These are specifically designed for arthritis patients. I started by getting two cans of baked beans and using them to as weights, lifting them above my head whilst I was watching TV. I went at far as felt comfortable and over time that has incresaed. Something that simple is a start and may really make you feel a bit better. Plus then, if you do feel you can go back to the unsympathetic GP you can say that you have started to work at exercise and then they can't complain at you! I can't wait to go back to see my consultant and tell them!

prefabkid47

Perhaps it's time to change your GP,even if within the same practice and find one more constructive and sympathetic............ :!:

I lost all confidence in mine when he tried to fob me off after seeing my xray showed my hip was in a mess and needed a THR (he didn't even suggest surgery but just tramadol!!).I now refuse to see him.

If you need any support in the form of pocket duty just say and will jump in......... :!:

Ron