Credit to Carers

lindalegs Member Posts: 5,374
edited 29. Jul 2016, 07:40 in Living with Arthritis archive
I would like to say, publicly, thank you to Mr Legs, my husband and my carer because no man could have cared more. I know I have held him back at times because I am unable to do some of the things we would have done if I was not a rheumatoid and I am sorry for that. We've had bad times when we both get frustrated but on whole we live within the boundaries of my illness and are very happy just to be together.

We were married for 7 years before I was struck down and we celebrate our 38th year next month. We have 2 super sons and their wives and 3 lovely grandchildren so I want to thank Steven from the whole of my heart for staying with me and still loving me as I do him.



  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00

    This is such a lovely post I really felt the need to reply and say:

    Here Here!!!


    Moderator Ellen
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That is a lovely tribute to your husband, many congratulations to the two of you.
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    How lovely. I too reiterate my thanks to my OH who is my carer and puts up with an awful lot, when you actually think about it. Being there 24/7 and looking out for you, helping etc etc is truly medal worthy.
    XX Aidan
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Legs, what a wonderful post. I'm not often reduced to tears (being the hard-hearted old bag that I am) but your heartfelt words have done just that.

    My arthritis was gently knocking at the door when we married and Mr DD has steadfastly been by my side ever since. I still feel that this disease is my burden but he says no, it's ours because we both live with it. I know I would feel the same if the boot were on the other foot but I still find it hard to accept. Daft or what? (Mind you, I'm an only child and not used to sharing anything :wink: )

    For those of you on here who are coping alone, for whatever reason, I say this: we may not 'know' you as such but we care and I hope you know we do. DD
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It is indeed a lovely post, Legs - and I hope you & Mr. Legs have many more years together.

    My OH and have notched up 44 years now - he is my soul-mate & my best friend. When I was diagnosed several years ago now, he came with me to all my appointments, where the medics always referred to him as my 'principal carer which used to really annoy me - mostly because I felt it implied I was destined to sit around totally dependent on him for the rest of my life. If it's mentioned at all these days, I simply say 'He's my husband who cares.'

    We too have two wonderful sons, and two delightful grandsons, but in my head I still see us as the young couple who set out on our lives together full of joy, optimism and love, and I am truly blessed he is still my rock.
  • Popsmith1874
    Popsmith1874 Member Posts: 29
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Great posts and I would like to chip in with a heartfelt thanks to my wife who has been my godsend since 2014 when I started this long and windy road with RA ,OA and angina which at times I felt like chucking it all in and within the next week or two being medically pensioned off from work , although I fought hard as I've worked all my life and am not one for sitting about, but hopefully a bit off light at the end off the tunnel with me starting benelpali as I've failed on 3 dmards so we will see how it goes ,31 years married last month and I just want to thank her for being my carer and for helping me when I've been down as low as you can go but the only way is up now . Hope everybody's having a pain free day
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,309
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well said, indeed, Legs, and well echoed the rest of you.

    I guess I have to stick up for mine, don't I? But, if I were to be remotely sentimental or sloppy, he'd have me certified on the spot - with my approval.

    I'd had RA for at least three years when we met and seven when we married. With RA, as with marriage, no-one really knows what they're getting into and with RA, as with marriage, we were both full of the blithe optimism of youth. We were both sure they'd find a cure in a few years – for RA, that is, not marriage :wink: They didn't but we're still here, 48 years on despite occasions when one or both of us have pondered why on earth the marriage license doesn't run out like so many other licenses do.

    If he had 5p for every button, zip and shoe-fastening he's ever done up or undone for me and a tad more for every time he's lowered me onto and lifted me up from low loos, we'd be moving to some tax haven now rather than the Scottish Borders. He's done things for me which would have made him (not just me) blush when we first married but then, in gratitude for that, I shall draw a discreet veil over that New Years Eve party a few years ago :lol: And I suspect even he has no idea how much alcohol passed through him on his wife-free walking holidays with friends in France.

    I guess it just has to be love, doesn't it?
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    For those of you on here who are coping alone, for whatever reason, I say this: we may not 'know' you as such but we care and I hope you know we do. DD
    And such care is indeed appreciated by this 'loner', all the more so perhaps for being given out of the goodness of peoples' hearts, not from obligation, duty, relationship bonds etc.
    The thought that virtual hugs, concern for one's difficulties, support and encouragement, are out there in the ether is immensely comforting. It is I suppose a modern form of the prayer requests and groups that churches have.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,279
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aww Linda that is so lovely...I am sure Mr Legs would have it no other both have a lot to be proud of..xx
    And SW I love it... :)
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone,

    These are all wonderful tributes and very heartwarming to read. a015.gif

    There are not just our spouses in all of this, though, but help from other family members, friends and even the kindness of strangers. :D

    I always accept help when offered because sometimes, with people who don't know us, they can wonder whether we'll be offended. So from the offer of a seat given up to the reaching of something from a top/bottom shelf in a supermarket (I can only reach the middle shelves :roll: ) I'm always grateful. :D

    Thank you to all those people too.

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've been thinking about this thread a fair bit and thinking that surely we too do our bit in that we keep households running, washing machines going, the iron in part-time employment, our food cupboards, fridges and freezers stocked and some also manage to work in addition to all this. Three cheers for us!

    Surely we have all learned, over the years, to get on with things as best we can and to make the best of what we have but I agree that we must not forget the contribution, help and support of others to help us do what we do. DD