I have spent the summer very much within my comfort zone, emotionally as well as physically but that is now coming to an end and I need to get my head out of the sand. I know until the last week or two I haven't been as active as usual here but just felt a bit overwhelmed by everything.
I was physically exhausted by the end of term, and then the all the emotional stuff I have been through in the past year hit me too. Enter pain, fatigue, depression etc.
I pushed things away and tried to ignore them.
I did things I wanted, when I wanted, I built a new website for my craft "business " and set up an online shop - (but this was more physically challenging than I expected), I just saw people I wanted to see, spent time with my daughter and grandchildren and just tried my best to ignore less pleasant things (and people).
The trouble is its now coming to an end. I really have mixed feelings about going back to work, mainly because this year I know how demanding of me it can be, and also as I will be sharing my office with someone who has been less than supportive of me and who does not respect me. I also find it hard going back and not being "better", it just throws everything in my face again.
Then there's my appointment on Monday, and due to problems with sleeping which the GP (not my usual one) attributes to stress it's back to counselling again, though I have to admit this is probably a good idea especially as there has been an issue with my ex and my sister is not communicating with me at all at the moment.
I know I will get through this because that's what I do, but in the meantime I feel I'm back to taking things day by day and not planning too far ahead.
Just needed to get this off my chest to people who understand, now time to get back to polishing and repairing my armour ready for Thursday.
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich