The reality check I could have done without

daffy2

I had a phone call this evening from my ex(we are on amicable terms) because he's in my part of the world having a boating holiday together with a very dear friend I haven't seen for many years(something to do with living in Australia!) and wanted me to meet them tomorrow evening. I had to decline and he seemed puzzled but I knew I couldn't sum up in a couple of minutes why driving for well over an hour after a full day at work and then getting back home again wasn't even remotely possible.
But it set off a whole train of unhappy thought. I struggle to get through a full day at work now, but can keep going because it's part-time so I rarely have to do 2 consecutive days - but I'm doing Thursday and Friday this week, another reason for not being able to socialise. I've had to accept that it's not discomfort I experience now it's pain, and furthermore that it's beginning to have a significant impact on my life - with feet, hands and back being so sore driving and walking are both problematic and limited in duration, aided by the deterioration in my scoliosis. Fibromyalgia adds its own fun, mostly crashing fatigue, and my IBS has now become a constant limiting factor. The latest joy is a suspicion that gall bladder may be kicking off so I will have to go for a scan for that - travel to which will bring its own problems. Most of the time I just get on with it, because going under isn't a good idea when one lives alone, but this evening's call did rub salt in the wound so to speak, not least because he was the one who walked, quite out of the blue, his life is very different from mine, and resentment does rear its head from time to time....
It does help to get this off my chest, but it doesn't make for nice reading so I'll try and come up with something a bit more entertaining for my next post.

stickywicket

Daffy, you are always entertaining, imformative or both so please regard this post as a well-overdue slight rail against arthritis. Sometimes, completely out of the blue, it hits us in the solar plexus simply because it can and we become very uncomfortably aware of all the things it has robbed us of which we normally, sensibly aim to ignore because there be dragons. You will get on top of it again because that's who you are. Meanwhile, hang on tight. I don't often do this. ((( )))

stickywicket

Just to add to the above, as last night I was on my tablet and pretty shattered so my post was necessarily short.....

It's not just the 'exes'. Due to packing etc I'm in a permanent state of tiredness right now and Mr SW knows it. On Sunday I went down with a mild bug. On Monday I was feeling much better but exhausted and achey but we had arranged a final meal at a local restaurant with 6 friends. Feeling not at all sociable I went and coped then, after the coffees, he turned to me and asked “Everyone back to ours?” I almost howled “NO! I want to go to bed.” The healthy will never quite get it.

I've also noted an increased, and increasing, tendency to get irritated when another potential health problem raises its ugly head. They are starting to clash and their remedies are starting to clash and juggling is the order of the day.

We all get resentful at times. I know I do. That's OK as long as we look it in the face, acknowledge it and then move on which I know you will do if you haven't already done so. And, if we can't admit to it here, among others who must surely empathise, where can we?

mig

Daffy I always read your posts you always write such sensible thing s,arthritis is a sneaky monkey just when you think you have a handle on it it throws another spanner in to the works.Stay positive Daffy (((()))) Mig

daffy2

Thank you both for your kind words.
I'm feeling a bit more positive today, not least because it was a quiet day at work so I was able to take things easy, the company of my work colleagues was a good distraction, the weather was lovely, and things always look less bad in daylight than in the lonely dark hours.
Sticky, you are right about the shorter fuse each time something is added to the witches brew that is our 'health'. We just have less capacity with each demand that's piled on - the elastic gets increasingly baggy.
Mig, you do say such kind things, that quite made my day, bless you.

stickywicket

daffy2 wrote:

Sticky, you are right about the shorter fuse each time something is added to the witches brew that is our 'health'. We just have less capacity with each demand that's piled on - the elastic gets increasingly baggy.

My fuse was never very lengthy and my elastic always baggy

It's odd but true about the 'dark hours'. Odd because, even though we know it, that doesn't make us feel any better during them.

I also think the accumulation of health issues constantly hammers home that things, from this point, are more likely to get worse than better. I've never been one to worry about age but, every time I see '70' on my prescription, it pulls me up short. (Am I really )

I'm glad yesterday was a bit better for you, daffy. One thing I've learned is to enjoy all the enjoyable things and to find them in every circumstance – before they run out completely