I was reading the other thread on Acceptance and on shoes which made me think.
I was only diagnosed last week and have mixed emotions. My grandmother died of complications from the disease. I was a young carer and my childhood was dominated by my family working around my grandmother's illness to the point we really didn't get a childhood.
My mother has always been obsessed with the fact she may get RA attributing every little niggle to it potentially being that. I did some nurse training back in the 1990s before leaving to have major surgery and I remember a tutor telling me if anyone was going to get it, it would be me as it often skips a generation, so it has always been hovering as a grisly joke in the back of my mind.
I went down to the doctors with a thumb that wouldn't bend and a belief that there was nothing wrong other than getting middle aged, my GP who is very far thinking decided to do blood tests and X-rays as s belt and braces. Even so his colleague refused to accept I had anything other than neurotic tendencies.
So in terms of acceptance, I'm slightly relieved I have an excuse not to wear heels as I've never liked them. I feel slightly relieved that I can exercise and not have to beat myself up about not being brilliant at it. I can slightly accept it as it has lingered at the back of my mind for years even though I didn't have it.
What I find harder is to accept the diagnosis as correct when everyone the medical profession particularly accused me of being a neurotic, middle aged hyperchondriac. It feels very strange for these same people to be jumping up and down now saying is there anything they can do. Doesn't the world change when it's perceived you have a "real" illness.
I'm finding it hard that given their previous attitude I am now on the maximum dose of what seems like every drug in the cupboard and from being a mailngerer now I have to have blood tests every two weeks.
I'm finding it hard to be told so abruptly that my social life as is now over, no Friday night glass of wine etc
And finally the attitude of my family. From aunts who say pah it's not that serious they can stop it with a tablet now, don't indulge her. She's nowhere like our mother. My mother who says I don't think you need the tablets, it's not that serious, I think you are just encouraging them. My brother hasn't even contacted me because it's not worth it.
Essentially the consensus is, it's a touch of arthritis, everyone gets it at my age but not everyone makes a deal out of it. The deal being the doctors giving me tablets.
My lovely GP said, give them the leaflets and the ones with the drugs on and ask them if it is still fine! He thinks because of my medical history I have a much higher pain threshold and didn't realise what as going on. This was echoed by the consultant who said, I don't think you realise just how ill you are.
I don't know if anyone else has found one of the barriers to acceptance is everyone else telling you, you are just a drama queen.