Dilemma feet op. vs pregnancy

Enca Member Posts: 4
edited 11. Oct 2016, 04:44 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi, I am new here so very happy to have found this forum. I am 37 and I have had RA since I am 22. I had loads of damage in both hands and some in my feet. I had a beautiful daughter who is 4 and 3/4 as she likes to say and last November my husband and I decided to come off methotrexate to try for another baby. Since then I have been seeing a herbal medicine person and eliminated some foods from my diet and doing pilates once a week and I haven't felt better. So it is great as for my first daughter I wasn't very well and this time around we decided that if I started feeling bad I will get back to my meds. Here comes the dilemma. A week ago I had an orthopaedics appointment to look at some nodules in my feet and in the appointment the doctor agreed to actually fix my feet not only the nodules but my hammer toes too it will be breaking some bones so longer recovery. I was thrilled and talking to her about being off my meds to get pregnant she just said to continue as normal and whatever comes first. However I cannot stop thinking if I should just stop trying and have the operation first, although it won't be until January or just continue as planned and see. I am also scared of starting to get worse, we know RA is so volatile that you never know how you will be feeling in 6 months time and then I will feel like I wasted three months also I am not getting any younger either. Each day I change my mind and now a toe is starting to bother me more all this it is stressing me out what it is not good for my RA either. I talk every night with my husband and he understands me and he is happy with any decision I make but ultimately it is my decision. I am so confused.
Sorry for such long post and Thanks


  • moderator
    moderator Moderator Posts: 4,085
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Enca and welcome to the forum :P

    It's lovely to hear about your family and that you are planning another child. It sounds like you went through all the planning, stopping meds etc with your daughter so you will know how it works! Have you talked this over with your consultant yet?

    There are a number of helpful links here written by forum members


    We do have other members considering pregnancy - it would be great if you had a friend along the way!

    Take care
    Yvonne x
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,253
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Erica and welcome from me too.

    It seems that, what should have been a good thing (the offer to operate) has actually created a great deal of turmoil and indecision for you. Obviously, we can't take any decisions for you but, if you want opinions, here's what I'd be thinking:

    1. You've done the hard work of coming off the methotrexate. Why change things now for an operation you could have at any time?

    2. I have both rheumatic nodules and hammer toes and don't see either as a big deal though I was fortunate to be born at a time when neither feet nor shoes seemed to matter as much as they do now.

    3. You say you have been seeing 'a herbal medicine person'. The NHS advises against herbal medicines for, among others:

    People due to have surgery
    People taking other medicines
    Pregnant women
    People with serious health conditions

    So please ask your GP or pharmacist about the advisability of any you are taking.

    4. Eliminating some foods can be either good or bad but eliminating entire food groups is almost always bad as we can become deficient in essential nutrients. I'm sure you're not doing this but, just in case.

    5. One more thing to consider. Many women flare after childbirth. Even if you didn't last time you might next. Would that make a difference to any of your plans?

    Why not talk things over with our Helpline people? Their freephone number is above. Often talking can help us to work out for ourselves what we really want to do. Good luck with whatever decision you take.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,680
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Enca

    Lovely to meet you :)

    What a decision two good things happening potentially at the same time!!

    A friend of mine wanted to do her training and was undergoing IVF for a baby...she was so stressed and in the end went with the baby as she felt she wasn't getting any younger. She had a bouncing 10lb boy and is now qualified too :)

    Not easy for you I bet you wish your husband had an opinion!! I know I would :)

    As Yvonne said there are other women considering having a baby on here ATM so there should be plenty of support.

    Let us know what you decide to do


    Toni xxx

    Toni xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Decide which you want the most and go for it. The longer you dither the harder the decision will be. I wish you well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,094
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Enca and welcome to the forum
    I think you have made up your mind and its good you can talk to your husband not always easy..I hear the sound of tiny feet :) ...much easier than having to go back on the meds then off again..I do wish you well for the future and hope you will let us know what happens..
  • Enca
    Enca Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone and thank you so very much for all your post. So sorry I didn't reply earlier I wasn't getting email notifications and didn't know I got replies again I am very grateful.
    I did think about it a lot and we decided that it was better to carry on with our plans the operation shouldn't change that.
    I have been thinking a lot about what I really want and I know it is to have another child and I feel so well at the monent even without the medication that it is just the right conditions.
    I am even actually having second thoughts of having such a big operation as matters have been complicated by the fact that my mother won't be able to come and help me. My parents live in Spain and my dad who also has RA, he is actually not very well at the moment so flying to cold Scotland is not a good idea and my mother cannot leave him alone back home neither I would want to. For my mother to say this when I know her daughters mean the world to her and she is so amazing helping us it was hard so I have to try to make it as it is not a big deal but in reality it complicates things. At the same time it has giving me the opportunity to rethink everything and realise that as someone said in a previous post the operation can be done anytime and maybe now with a young family it is not the right thing to do.
    Hopefully in the next months I have good news and everything get sorted by itself.
    Thanks Encarni
  • Enca
    Enca Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Sharon, I will