Compassion and kindness still exists

GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
edited 30. Sep 2016, 14:45 in Community Chit-chat archive
Friday last week the stonemasons put the headstone, etc., up on John's grave for me. This was done in the morning and I knew it was being done.

I went up in the afternoon to have a look and seeing the stone I promptly fell to bits and make a right show of myself. (Think it was seeing John's name and the dates on the inscription. I knew what it would look like having ordered it, but actually seeing it was overwhelming). All of a sudden, I felt someone behind me and this lovely lady was giving me a hug. She said she realised I was "having a moment" as she called it and wanted to give me a hug. I didn't know her from Adam! (She'd been visiting her late husband's grave which was couple of rows away).

She asked which branch of the family John was from as she'd known a family of that name. Turns out she knew of John's father as he'd been the local builder/undertaker and lived in the same village. As a child she had played with John's sister! When she gave me her maiden name, I explained when John researched his family tree he'd found links to a family of this name, and I quoted one person in particular who was a remote cousin of John's. She then said she was first cousin to this same person making her remotely related to John.

All my family who have either seen the grave itself, or who've seen photographs, have said it would be what John would have wanted. They've all said I've done him proud, but I so wish I hadn't had to do this.

I shall be forever grateful to that lovely lady who was so kind. Genuine acts of compassion such as this really do restore your faith in human nature.



  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so glad someone was there for you when you needed it and gave you support and comfort.

    Random acts of kindness mean so much. On R4 on a Saturday morning one feature on a regular radio show gives listeners the chance to thank a stranger who showed kindness when needed. The stories always strengthen the belief in human kindness.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,279
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Grace
    This is so uplifting to hear, I do think sometime we draw back from giving hugs..they can mean so much..
    But more to the point how lovely that she knew him, it was though it was meant to be, I am a great believer in this, John was there looking over take care...xx
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,431
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Suggest a cuppa next time, you obvisously have a connection?

    Many people are considerate and caring, this ladies thought came from the heart.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,334
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh gosh Grace!

    How lovely was that lady and how opportune her own visit to the cemetery ?
    t's almost as though she was meant to be there.

    I so wish you hadn't had to 'do' your John proud too :( but I am glad everyone agrees the headstone is perfect.

    Keep on keeping strong sending love and ((()))

    Toni xxx
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for your kind and thoughtful replies.

    My nephew Matt put some weed reducing membrane and white chippings on the grave for me Saturday. He then helped me to place push-in vases and other bits back on the grave, bless him. He thought so much of John and in a text to me - after I'd thanked him for his hard work - was that "it was my pleasure to make John's last place of rest look presentable as he would have liked it".

    Matt is my late sister's fourth child and is a true credit to her. Last November he and his fiancé bought their first house together and now have a baby due early April next year. Matt worked hard to become a fully qualified and highly skilled carpenter.

    John's grave now has a black marble headstone and kerb-set on it, with silver inscription and white chippings. All of my family and friends who have either seen it in person or seen photographs of it, say that John would have been pleased.

    Thanks again.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,334
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Grace that really does sound very nice.

    I think he would like it - anyone would be pleased to have such a fabulous headstone :) and such a 'good' nephew too.

    Today I spent the day with a friend who lost her husband to cancer 8 years ago. It would have been their 10 year wedding anniversary.

    Started off at the cemetery and then to Lichfield to where they married to reminisce and laugh and smile....

    If he could I am certain your John would be very pleased to hear a baby is due too :)


    Toni xx