Feeling low & I am a carer for my Hubby who also has it

18amandah

Hello , Really sorry but I am feeling low, Last year I had a hip replacement & it hasnt worked out for me at all. Why ? Ok well when I went into Hospital, ( No complaints there) I came home & within days I had NO choice but to get my backside into gear as my Husband is also Disabled & needs my help. He too has OA, of his hips, knees . & neck is also severely sighted & deaf. I had no proper care package . He did but the social services were very very annoyed that I was bouncing off on them asking the carers to even heat my food, & also make my bed. !! I am on pain killers, only when I really have to. I am utterly scared of having another op as I am just not supple. My Husband has a tens Machine, as he was on too many meds. I am very stiff in the mornings. My feet are always cold & legs. I take rosehip , and massage every day wearing a magnet bracelet at all. Also take turmeric . Please can some one give advise? So sorry to rant. I also have reflexology when ever I can. And I love having a spa bath as well regards Amandah

frogmorton

Gosh Amandah!

You have got your work cut out haven't you? First of all most people would feel overwhelmed with the amount you have to deal with.

You sound as though you are doing so much to try and help yourself that I wonder what more I can suggest......I presume you also use things like heated wheatbags on sore joints and have you tried your husband's tens yourself? If so did it help?

It's easy to see how much you care about your husband and your reluctance to have your hip looked at again, but your own health matters too.

Someone once said to me "If you don't look after number one who is going to look after number two....?"

I don't understand why you haven't got a care package yourself? Even as a carer you would be entitled to an assessment by social services. That would be my first suggestion. Get yourself assessed. You clearly need help too such as heating up meals and making your bed.

Social service should also check whether you are getting all your entitlements disability benefit-wise.

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time Amandah.

Love and ((()))

Toni xxx

daffy2

Couple of quick thoughts Amandah.
Firstly, it might be worth posting this on Living with Arthritis as well.
Secondly, does your husband's Care Plan make any mention of your situation, and if so is it accurate/up-to-date? I ask because when we were trying to sort out care for my mother(living alone) after an accident damaged her shoulder, and hitting a brick wall getting a care package in place, my sister happened to read what was in mum's file and realised it was completely wrong - they had written that she had 2 daughters who were very supportive and called in to check on her, and stayed over when necessary. In fact she had 3 daughters all living hundreds of miles away....Once that had been(forcefully!) corrected things began to move in the right direction at last, as her priority status obviously changed.
I do hope you are able to get some help and support before too long.

bubbles

Oh Amandah, this is terrible for you. As a carer you will have access to your local carers trust. Every area has one and they are worth contacting asap. You can look them up on Google or maybe you know of them already. They can often sort out urgent help, which is certainly needed.
Your husbands care plan should take into account all other people who are involved in his care and how they cope giving the care he needs.
A word with your GP too, he or she can get things swung into motion, be it an interim 6 week care package, that everyone is entitled to if there is a need and there obviously is. You cannot go on struggling like this. If you are not able to go to see the Dr then ask for home visit.
As Toni rightly says, who looks after number two if number one stumbles.
It sounds to me that the risks are high, therefore you need a full assessment and follow up care plan. The hospital are a wee bit to blame as well, they really should check up on the home situation and put a package of care in place, prior to discharge. A duty of care it is otherwise known as.

I hope this can sort out for you very soon. Sending hugs to you and yours, keep us posted, please.
XXXX Aidan

daffy2

The hospital are a wee bit to blame as well, they really should check up on the home situation and put a package of care in place, prior to discharge.

It's not the hospital's job to put the care in place,it's Social Services, and this is the big stumbling block. As the two bodies argue between themselves the poor patient gets forgotten in the middle. The hospital won't want to discharge until the care is in place but are under pressure to do so(bed blocking), but equally social services often don't have the resources to put adequate care in place quickly enough, also hospital care doesn't come out of its budget...

bubbles

Indeed daffy, the rift between the two services seems to widen. I have experienced it first hand too. Pressure for resources are pushed for both hospital and follow on care.

Keep us posted Amandah.

Slosh

I can't comment on care packages as I have no experience here.

However a few other points, you seem to be spending a lot of money on alternative therapies which don't seem to be helping and I can't help feeling you would feel better if you took your prescribed meds regularly. Perhaps it would be a good idea to se your GP and ask for a prescription review, and while you are there tell him how you are feeling emotionally as you may benefit from a course of anti-depressants. They might just help you to be able to think more clearly, as well as feel better in yourself and help you to plan and make decisions. I know you have posted with similar messges before and you seem to be going round and round in circles, with the same problems and not getting anywhere.

You say your husband uses a TENS machine, has he been shown where to apply the pads by a physiotherapist? And again a prescription review might benefit him too.

I apologise if you have already done this but I know that in a previous messge I suggested you contact SENSE, which is a charity for the Deaf-blind and may be able to offer some support to your husband and you. Have you any relatives or friends who could either sit with him, or take him out to give you a couple of hours every couple of weeks to yourself? I know you have said before he doesn't like this and didn't want to go into respite care but I think you need to put yourself first and ask him to think what woukd happen to him if you ended up in hospital for any reason. If this is too difficult for you to do yourself then again can you ask a family member or friend to do this, or even your GP or his Social Worker.

I hope this doesn't seem harsh, I am genuinely concerned about what might happen to you if nothing changes.